Neighbour seems annoyed by my house party

[Tobythecat]

I had a little house party the other day. I've lived here over 2 years, never played music or had a party until the other night. I started playing music at 7pm on friday, (I live in an upstairs flat)and turned music off at 9.30. Friends left at 11 and I went to bed.

Bearing in mind this neighbour plays his trumpet throughout the week/weekends, as soon as i put the music on he started playing his trumpet, and has done everyday since friday.

I just saw him by the car and waved to him, he gave me a filthy look and turned his back on me (he is usually very friendly).

I know his wife works random shifts, but this was a one off, and I deliberately had it on a Friday so most people wouldn't have work in the morning. I turned the music off by 9.30 and I have never had a party or played music in all the time i've lived here.

AIBU to think neighbour is being a petty cuntflop?

[NapQueen]

I would pop a note under hos door.

"Apologies for not warning you about the music the other night. As I can hear your trumpet daily I should have realised that you would be able to hear my music. As it was finished by 9.30 I do hope it didnt encroach too much on any sleep. I shall give you advanced warning should I host a gathering again".

[2017SoFarSoGood]

Nice to hear from you Toby. I was thinking of you just the other day.

No apology needed - he is being unreasonable. Continue to be your pleasant self, and ignore his bad attitude. You did nothing wrong.

Sounds like a fun (and considerate) party!

[mimibunz]

Mouse rules!! :-) I love it!

[Anatidae]

If the music goes off at 12 it's not even a proper party!

Each to their own, but Jesus I’d hate that. I wonder if all your neighbours are as happy about it as you think?

Where we live there’s no noise that’s outwith normal living noise after 7. You can’t put your washer on in a block of flats after 9. That’s quite normal for most of Europe. The general idea is that if your life impinges on your neighbours life, it’s not OK.

[auntBessiesAreAwful]

@LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle

Sounds like an episode of Shameless, and not in a good way.

"if you piss someone off you will know about it!"

Brick through the window?

[Redpony1]

You can’t put your washer on in a block of flats after 9

Some people dont get home until after then from work! My washing machine used to go on much later than that in a block of flats, i had a life, i leave the house very early and get home late.

Feck that, 7pm is far far too early to expect people to stop living. I'd be hoovering much later than that!

[PerfumeIsAMessage]

Am I missing something? Did the OP say the neighbour had complained?

[Mamabear4180]

That's the trouble with flats! My neighbour hated me when I lived in one, I used to play music on either a Friday or Saturday at a really reasonable volume but he used to get really aggressive and bang on my windows. Once he sent me a letter about reporting me to environmental health or some bollocks. He could never be reasoned with because apparently he worked shifts so everyone else in the flats should be quiet just for him 7 days a week. I once offered to go into his flat when my music was on to try and understand his point of view better and maybe then we could decide on the right volume but he was having none of it. He got ignored after that

YANBU op

[Anatidae]

You can’t put your washer on in a block of flats after 9

It was actually written into the lease. Working late wouldn’t be an excuse and they would take action. Amplified music till late would have you kicked out pronto

It actually all worked very well and it was a quiet peaceful and happy place to live. Most flats here have similar rules. So do ones that family and friends live in in other countries.

They all think the UK is the third world though ;)

[Redglitter]

You don't know he actually is bothered about your party though. Maybe he's having a bad day. Maybe he had an argument before he came out the house. He might have barely registered you being there.

[Itsanicehotel]

YANBU X100. But having worked in community mediation, sometimes a note through the door can work wonders in restoring neighbourly relations. And even better to do it after the first incident. Should you have to? Absolutely not. But if in future his trumpeting gets too much at least you have set a conciliatory and accommodating tone regarding his (ridiculous) grievance.

Then after you’ve posted the note (in which I would only apologise for not warning him you were having a bit of a party) go buy a large accordian. By god those bastards can be heard in the next town.

[AlpacaPicnic]

HIBU. And a moany twunt.

My neighbours - over the road neighbours but it still counts - decided that 2am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning was the perfect time to stand in the street, singing along to the radio and drinking vodka from the bottle. The sight of me appearing in my jimjams and angry hair put them off for a little bit. The sight of the police turning up shut them up a bit more.

Still, they've been evicted now so it's back to peace and quiet!

[PinkHeart5914]

It was a one off party (i am assuming you don’t do it every weekend) and music was off by 9:30, everyone left at 11.

Some people like your neighbour are just miserable sods.

As for putting a note in his door to apologise 😂 i can’t even believe it’s been suggested tbh, you’ve nothing to apologise for. When you live near people you get noise sometimes

[LesLavandes]

He is being ridiculous. If he kicks up, complain about his trumpet practice. Believe me unless he is a pro, it’s not great listening. My ex played it.. Tell him to use a practice mute

[MagdalenLaundry]

Why do people pander to difficult neighbours.
I had difficult neighbours. They couldn't bear the sound of a door closing or worried a window would rattle
They wanted my windows closed all the time and us never to use the front door
I told them to get lost and my life improved immensely. Not talking is so much easier than listening to unreasonable demands

[Skyatdawn998]

Yes he's being a petty cuntflop.
Ignore the cuntflop.

[GrumpyOldBag]

What redglitter said.

[SilverSpot]

Why do people pander to difficult neighbours.

It just makes them think they are in the right and enables them to be even more difficult!

[Alicecooperslovechild]

Suggest that he gets a practice mute for the trumpet. Blocks most of the sound but he can hear it through headphones.

[Saracen]

You could confront him show interest in his well-being if he gives you the filthy look again or blanks you. Go up to him and ask, "Are you all right??" in a tone of great concern. If he grunts or gives you the cold shoulder then add, "You just had such an odd look on your face just now. I thought you might be ill."

If he takes the opportunity to say anything about the party then you can have a civilised conversation about it.

[expatinspain]

Where we live there’s no noise that’s outwith normal living noise after 7. You can’t put your washer on in a block of flats after 9. That’s quite normal for most of Europe. Scrap Spain from that. It's constant noise here 😂

[ButchyRestingFace]

I wouldn’t appreciate music in a flat after 7pm tbh. Unless it was a one off and neighbour pre warned me.

Presumably you don't play the trumpet?

[feelslikearockandahardplace]

Wish you were my neighbour. Ours had a party Saturday night, which we were warned about that afternoon, they turned the music up at 10:30 so we could hear every word and feel every beat of the bass. Kids were thrilled to be woken up too...

[DJBaggySmalls]

Enthusiastically accompany him on the saucepans and kazoo.

[Atenco]

I had a neighbour like yours, except without the trumpet. We were really quiet, but he complained about us moving chairs in the kitchen/living room after 9 pm. My roomy and I had great fun planning how to give him something to really complain. Fortunately said neighbour calmed down before we were forced to enact our revenge.