to keep waking her through the night? help!

[willothewisp17]

background: daughter born via emergency c section at 30+6 weeks. in hospital for eight weeks requiring breathing assistance/tube feeding ect. in the hospital it was a feed every three hour routine in the final few weeks before she got home as she was only taking a little at a time (60ml so about 2 ounces).

she is almost five months old, almost three months corrected (from due date rather than birth date) and I'm still waking her through the night to feed! I believe she would sleep straight through from her last feed at say 10.30pm till at least 6.30am next morning. the longest I've left her through the night has been six hours and that was by accident (slept through alarm). I still had to wake her after six hours.

a lot of people think I'm bonkers for waking a sleeping baby, but the problem is, she still doesn't take a huge amount of milk in the one go (formula fed)! when she came home she was only taking 2-3oz a time every three hours, but now we've built it up a bit and she takes 4-6oz every three and a half hours during the day and every 4 and a half hours during the night. I don't feel like I can leave her to sleep all night because she doesn't take a sufficient volume of milk before bed and still wouldn't make up for the missed night feed in the morning! after I left her six hours that one time I expected her to take a lot, but she didn't!

aibu and just stuck following a regimented schedule? nightly pattern goes more or less like this:

10.30pm: last feed before bed 4-6 ounces
3.00am: has to be woken, usually only takes 4 ounces as she's knackered
7.30am: has to be woken again, first feed of the day between 4-6 ounces

i feel so bad for waking her all the time! should I start dropping the 3.00am feed? would she make up for it in the morning?

Talk to your HV. She can weigh baby and check her progress.

Best not to wake her at night really.

Is she putting on weight according to her centile? If so then I would stop waking her (though feed her if she wakes herself). Give it a couple of weeks to see if she drinks more during the day and get her weighed again to check she's still gaining.

I would check with HV, if baby is gaining weight and otherwise healthy I don't think there is a reason to wake. I asked my HV about waking DD for a dream feed as she was luckily a good sleeper from early on and she looked at me as if I'd grown two heads

Yabu

she's gaining weight really well, no issues there at all and gets weighed regularly by health visitor, community midwife, at rsv vaccination clinics!

it's not even as though the during the night feed is a significant one, as I've already said she only takes about 4 ounces, and it's a slog trying to get her to take that alone!

I've always been utterly obsessed with her feeding (I take a note every day of how much she has taken and when ) as she was only 2lb 15oz when born so I love seeing her gain weight! she is 11lb 9oz now. I'm beginning to realise that her need for a good uninterrupted nights sleeping outweighs the night feed.

Stop waking her. Just let her sleep.

If she's putting on weight then she's doing really well.

Sleep is important and you'll both need it

Please stop feeding your baby at night.
My 2.2lb premmie dd was sleeping through at 7 weeks of age (3weeks corrected age).
Never really took much milk... Enjoyed food much more when weaned.
As long as gaining weight steadily, there is no need to be obsessively waking and feeding her.
And I would suggest asking your paediatrician.

Dd1 was a preemie but slept through from about 2 months corrected, I didn't wake her as she was gaining weight and she was grand, actually did begin to slightly increase day and evening feeds. oh how I wish dd2 (now 2) would sleep

Totally agree with others. As long as she's putting on weight and following her line you don't need to wake her. You might find she drinks more in the morning if she misses the night feed anyway. Sleep is so important.

I know It's tough and you'll worry of course but is there a possibility she won't eat much more because It's spaced out? I've no idea about these things but my bf eldest started to cluster feed (fill her boots) once she started to get longer stretches of sleep.
It sounds like she's doing really well. Talk to your Have but it sounds as though your instinct is to giver her more sleep now. Which is good too for growth.

the neonatal midwifes that come out to see her (she's still on oxygen so that's why they come out) all have such different advice, one looked at me like I'd grown an extra limb when I told her I was waking my daughter, another insisted I never leave her more than three hours without a feed!

she is my first child and a prem baby at that so everything is just totally new to me!

thanks for all your advice, I'm going to start leaving her to sleep! I knew I should deep down but think I just needed some reassurance from other parents!

I see her health visitor too on wednesday, so I'll mention it to her!

Oh bless you! You sound very anxious. If she's gaining weight and not bothered by the night feed then I wouldn't. If the anxiety takes over then do seek help for that.

I never woke my daughter despite the fact she was a 28 weeker, she's always gained well and I let her find her own rhythm. I'd ignore the conflicting advise, if she's knackered then leave her to sleep

It’s realistic difficult with all the different advice; with my preemie baby (32+5) o was told up until her due date to not let her go more than 3 hours without a feed. By her due date she was around 5Ib and I started letting her go 4 hours then once she was the weight of a term baby I was told to let her sleep through the night if she wanted (not that she did). It’s likely that if you dropped the 3am feed she would wake naturally in the morning for her feed as she’ll be hungry.

I’ve not had a premie but letting them guide you is I think best advice mine were both small and we found the best feeding pattern with them good luck

Don't worry, if your baby needs milk she will wake for it.
My baby is now 8 month and only taken max 5.5oz ever. Usually between 2-4oz a time, as long as baby is gaining weight all is fine. If I was you I'd get baby weighed and not wake at night and weigh again a week later. You might find baby will wake herself some nights.

sleep is so important, its the time they grow, their brains sort out all the experiences they have had in the day and they learn about the difference between night and day! I can understand that you are anxious about her, maybe the feeding is also a way of checking that she is ok? as others have said, she will wake when hungry and it may help her to take a larger feed in the morning.

I would leave her, she will probably make up close to the 4 ounces, but maybe an ounce at a time at each of her other feeds through the day. Why dont you try it for a planned amount of time (say 5 nights) and track her milk intake over that time. Then sit down and look at it all and reassess. Just dont look at it for 1 day as she may take a few days to balance out.

Yes I’d drop the 3am feed, I think the fact you have to wake her for her morning feed and she doesn’t take as much milk then shows that she’s ready to stop the night feed.

We are in a similar boat. We were in neonatal for about 12 weeks and on a 3 hour feeding schedule. Dietician told us to try to drop the 3am feed ASAP as she shouldn’t need to feed every 3 hours at her size (which was about 9.5lbs at time, now around 11lbs). We slowly increased other feeds over the course of a few days and dropped the 3am feed (which like your dd she was not waking up for anyway). She now sleeps usually 12-7 without waking for a feed, although she still has about 1/4 of her feed via an NG tube so it’s a little easier to make sure she has enough volume during the day than it may be for you!

Overall I would agree with the idea of letting her sleep through and checking that it does not impact her growth. If it does you can always revert to your current plan.

Ps like you I am obsessed with getting every ml into my daughter that she is due, and also have a diary showing how much she has drunk and when!

Oh big hug, OP. My DS was full term, but low birth weight, and we struggled with BF (low supply due to PCOS on my side, tongue tie and poor latch on his). Eventually he "fell off the bottom of the chart" into the blue area (below the 0.4% level). Like you, I was setting an alarm to feed him in the night (and I think to begin with justifiably so because he was so underweight he'd stopped crying for food). We switched to formula and he got back to his birth centile line - but I was still paranoid. I think it was round about the three month mark when my mum said "either you stop setting that alarm, or I will throw the clock out!" It got through to me that he no longer needed it - but I feel for you because it's so hard to make that step when you've had genuine worries about your baby's weight.

She will be okay if she's gaining weight and now three months adjusted age - but by all means double check with your HV before throwing the alarm clock away (or letting your mother do so ).

I never woke mine at night to feed them.

Let her sleep for as long as she wants to. If she really needs to be fed she will let you know.

I used to give a final feed around 10.30 or 11.00pm and then put them down. They often slept until around 7 o'clock the next morning. All gained weight steadily and are now strapping teenagers and young adults.

Ah it's so hard with a prem to know when to stop overthinking (do you ever?! Discuss...!) my 30+0 woke all.the.time and fed constantly, really struggled with weight gain for a while. I think you should speak with your consultant who will hopefully allay your fears and say drop the three am but I am sure all parents and particularly prem parents will understand being extra cautious. Well done, the first few months and worries are tough!