Wrong place but I don't know where else to turn.
DS just won't sleep.
He's always been a terrible sleeper, needed constant cuddling until 5 or so months, wouldn't go in the bouncer, his crib, pram, the play gym. Showers were 4 minutes of listening to him scream. Not a grumble, straight from happy to bright red, screaming, gasping for air. He as like that in the car, and basically anytime he wasn't held (didn't care who held him unless he was hungry). Even held he woke every 45-90minutes.
He didn't sleep more than 2hrs 45mins mat a time until he was 14months and we night weaned. Shortly after he went through a glorious 6 week period of waking once or twice a night and going back down within 30minutes.
That was 8 months ago.
We are dying. He wakes two to three times a night, takes hours to get back down, several attempts and then finally he'll sleep. Some nights it's 4 hours before he'll go back down.
This week, Saturday started at 2am for me, Sunday at 3.18 for DH. Monday 4.10 with a two hour wake up at midnight. Tuesday I was awake 2-5, when DH took over. Wednesday was the best night, DS was awake 9.30- 1.45 the slept until 5 10, a quick cuddle and another HR in bed. Last night I was awake 1.30-2.30 then up for the day at 4.
DS sleeps in my arms or just pies awake in my arms. Any attempt to put him down or for us to lie down (e.g cosleep) are met with either screaming until he's sick then more screaming (we've made it to 4 hrs of controlled crying, 3 night in a row before 3 episodes of being sick, before giving up) or him awake and climbing around the bed.
I'm at my wit's end. I'm surviving off sugar and caffeine. I'm too tired to drive to my hobbies, I fell asleep during the online shop. My hair is falling out in clumps, I have a permanent headache, my weight is ballooning. DH s the same. We haven't had a conversation in weeks beyond "it's your night shift, I'll buy dinner, what do you want".
My boss is amazingly understanding but my work is suffering. DH starts a new job Monday so I've sent him to a friend's to sleep this weekend.
I don't know what to do.
We've tried (given each several weeks attempts) cosleeping, earlier bed time, later bed time, controlled crying, the no cry sleep solution, pick up put down.
He occasionally wants a drink in the night but never food or milk. He eats really well, has supper before bed and is a wonderful, happy, loving child all day. No delays, no health issues and naps for around an hour.
AIBU to want some fucking sleep?
Fitbit reckons 7hrs this week.