To ask what small things I can do to make myself happier?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I've had a bad time with depression and relationship break ups. Always the dumpee for some reason.

I'm a single parent to 3 dc but my youngest is nearly 8, so I'm starting to get a bit of time to myself. I'm anaemic and constantly exhausted and often don't feel like doing much.

I need a kick up the bum. I'm not going to feel any better if I keep wallowing.

What small or big things might help me to feel happier?

My cat is currently making me happy, purring away while nestled in the crook of my arm.

I think I'd quite like to do something completely decadent and self indulgent.

Ah cross posted - can u find a class you can drag them to?

I do an aerobic trampoline class twice a week that my youngest comes to sometimes and joins in

I always come on this sort of thread saying the same thing but it really changed my life and hap[piness levels and it's like magic.
Do something you've never done before every day for a year.
Can be tiny things - like, I'd never had my eyebrows threaded, never tried the small independent cafes in town instead of the chains etc - I started with really easy things and by the end of a year of doing it, I was working on a specialist project, running a team for something i knew nothing about at the beginning of the year.
You could start next week by making a list of indulgent things you've never done but always meant to (home pedicure, book a massage etc) or just do indulgent things new ways - buy yoruself a type of flowers you don't usually buy, a chocolate you've never tasted before, a new scent of bubble bath, new shade of nail polish etc. But keep increasing it. It's really good fun.

I just downloaded and app called Fabulous. The aim is to get you into some good habits one at a time. So the first one is to drink water as soon as you wake up. You get to move onto the next thing when you have done it 3 times. Gradually it builds up a good morning routine (water, good breakfast, a dance!) And also an afternoon and evening one. I've only just started to not sure how it will go yet but I am enjoying it so far.

Your biggest problem is your health. When that is solved you wont know yourself. Does your doc know you have 10 day periods? Anyone would struggle with that. Is it being investigated? You need to rest and take things easy and listen to your body.

I'd go back and check your b12 levels - I'm wondering if you need the jabs 12 weekly? When did the last course finish?

Nb your levels are bound to be 'fine' after 6 jabs in 2 weeks! It doesn't tell them anything

Sorry to hear you're feeling low OP. It's hard work being a single parent and working isn't it?!

Things that cheer me up are -
Yoga
Getting out in the fresh air for a dog walk
Reading a good book
Cosy nights in with candles and a good box set
Going for a coffee and a pastry
Buying myself some flowers
Cooking something different
Having my friends over for a glass of wine and a catch up

My last course finished about 6 months ago. I did mention the heavy periods and the gp mentioned about getting my contraceptive implant removed, but I never got round to it and things seemed to settle down after that. I agree, I need to get my health sorted and then I'll have more get up and go. At the moment I'm coasting along in life.

Spa day next week. My local one does a 9am to 3pm deal. Swim for a bit, go to a class if you fancy it, enjoy a hot tub, maybe get a facial or a massage, and a lovely lunch.

Can you go to a spa (in London certainly there are some inexpensive basic ones) where you could do a few laps in the pool every so often for very gentle exercise and then just lounge and read magazines /books / even write in a notebook for the rest of the time? Swimming makes me feel better than anything else and it's possible to take it really easy too. Hope you feel better soon. This is a really nice thread to read, thanks

Fresh air and appreciate the colours and sights and smells of this beautiful season.

Snap bridgetreilly!

OP - liquid iron is much better than the tablets - Ferroglobin or Floradix or Spatone. Take them with OJ or vitamin C.

Book a massage and a facial, you'll float home. Music is the big one for me, any (rare) child-free time invariably involves digging out CD's from my mis-spent youth and cranking the stereo up, always leaves me feeling 'refreshed' somehow

I'm anaemic and constantly exhausted

This is a pretty crucial element to tackle (and not remotely indulgent).
I know you said whoever you’ve seen hasn’t investigated, and I sympathise as that’s also been my experience (if you’re female and premenopausal it must be “periods”, regardless of the amount you’re actually bleeding).

FWIW, I couldn’t get on with the iron sulphate tabs I was given after having DD: EMCS + constipation = hideous. I bought iron fumarate instead, and lots of liver. It’s really quite tasty cooked with onions and balsamic vinegar, and worked a treat on my iron levels.

I love the idea of a swim and lounge in a spa. I fancy a facial, my skin feels horribly dry with the central heating and cold outside. I'm definitely going to give the liquid iron a go too. Maybe some lovely food might cheer me as well.

do you like cooking - would you like some ideas of easy, delicious, iron-rich recipes?

The supplements are a great idea.
What helped me was buying myself really nice stuff for work. I have a theme and buy paperchase hardback notebooks, lanky orns etc and I have a really grown up bag that’s only for work and nothing g else. Makes me feel like I’m and the job is worth investment.

I'm not a good cook, but very very simple recipe ideas would be fab. I don't like liver though.
I love buying new notebooks and things like that.

There are two sorts of iron supplement available as a prescription pill. One is liable to make the patient sick and gives horrid black poo. It is however very cheap. The other is called Ferrous Fumarate, it doesn't have the side effects and is very effective, but costs the NHS more. My lovely GP prescribes fumarate on the grounds that she got given the cheapo sort after having her kids and wouldn't force it on to her worst enemy.

Just seen the thing about heavy periods. I think I’ve read somewhere that anaemia can actually make periods heavier.

OP, did the anaemia or the long/heavy periods come first? If the former, you need to keep reinforcing this whenever your medical history comes up.

(sorry no cuddly suggestions about spa treatments and the like...)

Decluttering helps me a lot too. Junk out only nice minimal stuff in.

I think the heavy periods came first. I was also deficient in folates and b12 but that's got better now. I just want them to give me an iron infusion.

Just a thought, but I'm on the mini-pill, so don't have periods at all - it's wonderful. Worth thinking about?

AlpacaLypse Your GP sounds great. My meds came from the hospital, so I mentioned my iron experience at the debrief with my consultant. Part of the problem may have been i’d been prescribed 9x RDA despite only just being below normal range for preg, post-birth . I was a bit embarrassed going into the full grim details with my male cons, but hopefully he took something away from it

Some great ideas here. What never fails to cheer me up is to put some great upbeat music on loud and have a dance around the kitchen. It's impossible not to feel happy when you're dancing like a fool.