People who wear earphones all of the time - AIBU?

[Pariswhenitdrizzles]

I find it really rude and annoying!! I see some people who wear their earphones ALL of the time - at work etc. - and, because they have them in the whole time, even when you're speaking with them, you can't even tell whether they're listening. I just find it really rude and impolite.

It doesn’t happen any more because I don’t work there ;)

But I have done that, because I think that’s the way to handle it. And been met with huffing, flouncing, ‘ooo does she think she is’ kind of shit etc. In response to a polite ‘on the phone’ mouthing.

There’s noise in open plans - I’d be mortified if I’d ever felt I was annoying people. A LOT of folk don’t seem to see that. They just need to have a direct line between their thoughts and their mouths.

I hated open plan. Hated it. Used to work in a lab which was of course open and no issues, but that office just made me so on edge all the time. Constant, pointless, yammering and yapping and gossiping. No quiet, no respect for people’s space or time or need to concentrate. So stressful.

There’s actually work done that shows that with the exception of a very few types of work, open plan performance is worse on almost all metrics: efficiency, productivity, employee happiness, transmission of illness - everything.

It suits a certain type of person. I am not that type.

I don't wear them at work unless I really need to block out the noise because I have something complex to work on and need no distractions. I do wear them any time I'm walking somewhere, going round the supermarket, on the bus/train. I take them out before going to the checkout though - I find it rude when people don't.

I wouldn't wear earphones at work. I don't want to be approached by people in the street and that's my right. So I wear earphones, sometimes no music playing but it helps me get through town centre quicker - not accosted by chuggers, beggars etc. I couldn't care less if others do the same, or not so presumably they don't (or shouldn't) care if I do it. Unless a situation such as work, or at a till, event which require me to actively listen, then I don't see it as anyone else's business. When I worked in an open plan office many years ago I actually wished we could wear earphones. The hum of noise, people with talk-itis disrupting when you're trying to concentrate and finish your work so you can leave at reasonable o'clock etc just got on my nerves really.

I wear mine on public trsnsport, in the car, in taxi, wghen im walking through town etc
I get fed up of people asking me to donate or sign up for things, i also have anxiety amd dont want people approaching me.

Like all things, it depends on the work environment.

I wear headphones at work because what I do requires a large degree of concentration and having music playing is far less distracting than listening to chatter/other people's phone calls etc. I take them out if someone wants to talk to me.

Any manager who insisted I and my colleagues couldn't listen to music would witness a rapid dive bomb in productivity. However, in some environments this wouldn't be the case.

People who insist on their right to wear earphones at work exist in a dream world. I also think they just can't cut it.

In many occupations it would be totally unacceptable to wear earphones. Can you imagine being a police officer, doctor, nurse, soldier, firefighter, judge, journalist, solicitor, shop worker, hairdresser etc and saying you needed to cut out the world in order to do your job?

How would the people you dealt with feel?

We all need quiet moments but that doesn't mean to say that we cannot do our jobs unless we have silence.

As others have said - when working in an open plan office it's the only hope I have of distracting myself from all the twats who have swallowed a fucking loud hailer and getting some work done.

In many occupations it would be totally unacceptable to wear earphones. Can you imagine being a police officer, doctor, nurse, soldier, firefighter, judge, journalist, solicitor, shop worker, hairdresser etc and saying you needed to cut out the world in order to do your job?

No - but those jobs invlove interacting with people as a primary function of the job 99% of mine doesn't. As for "can't cut it" I earn a decent living, thanks (more than many of the listed occupations).

I have bone conducting headphones - worn on the skull, not in the ear, so I don't have to take out my hearing aids. I can still hear everything that's going on around me whilst listening to music or catching up on last night's Archers - a bit like having the radio on in the house and being able to speak to people.

I don't wear them in the office, but do whilst riding my bike . . . and I can still hear what's going on around me.

I don't wear ear phones at work because I can't concentrate with music playing. I have never been able to. I can seem to hyper focus and shut out office type chatter/ noise. In fact it can be hard to get my attention because of this. Always has been but music in my ears is really distracting .
I don't really mind if others wear them though.

I wear earphones when I just can't deal with noises. Most of the time there's nothing playing through them as it can be enough to just deaden the sound slightly, or if there is something then it's quiet and just enough for me to focus on so that I don't go batshit zeroing in on whatever little background noise is bothering me. I don't do it to be rude- it just helps me feel like I'm not imminently about to fall apart.

Surely that’s the point, they don’t want people to ‘talk’ to (bother) them or listen to their awful conversations. I’m speaking from a general public standpoint, who wants random people trying to talk to you, random men flirting with you/asking for fake directions or hear a stupid phone call or full toddler tantrum happening behind you on the train. Or someone trying to inform you about Jesus at a busy tube platform. That’s ‘rude & annoying’?

It’s probably an age thing too, my generation (21) see earphones as a part of everyday life.

Work is different but would depend on the atmosphere and the job. If you’re that senior at your company and adept at your role you would have sorted this by now no? As you can see from this thread some people do actually concentrate better with earphones, especially if you’re shouting across the office at each other amongst the drivel. If it’s that bad just place a blanket ban on earphones and see how that works?

I think everyone is being a little black and white. I WFH but when in the office it is a mix of gregarious/ sharing chat and earphones.

Earphones basically mean "leave me alone I am concentrating on something" we also have little study rooms. There is nothing wrong with using them to focus every now and again. If it was all the time I would worry that they were not wanting to be part of a team environment.

Even I wear them sometimes because I have to focus and people chatter on and waste time.

In the street I also see no issue unless you are actively engaging e.g. At a till. Then it is rude.

Cherry I get that headphones may be an issue in your area (we have a crisis comms team) though I would worry that vital updates would be missed by just having them shouted around a room anyway, sounds disorganised though I'm sure it is not.

who wants random people trying to talk to you

People on here are just really fucking weird. It's the small hours of Sunday and I'm going to bed soon but today a few things happened:

Someone I don't know that well hugged me and said 'long time, no see'. That was true.

Someone I've never seen before and will probably never see again gave his Nectar points to me in the Sainsbury's checkout queue because he had forgotten his card and had spent £200 and couldn't be bothered to redeem his receipt at the customer services till. Fucking result seeing as it's triple points weekend on Nectar.

On my way home a kid got in my way. He was driving a pedal car but he was having so much joy with it that instead of swearing at him I said: 'What a smashing car. You're such a lucky boy.' His dad beamed.

My reward will be in heaven

I'm another one who wears earphones due to poor hearing. I don't like people assuming I can hear you when you've mumbled something in a mouse like voice behind my back. If it's important or you want to say something to me, face to face, approach me and speak clearly so I can at least lip read even if you insist on using a pitch even dogs would struggle to pick up on.
And don't make nasty comments about my hearing being the result of my loud music. I have to listen to music loud or I can't hear it properly and it's the one joy of my life next to listening people whinge about how my bad hearing affects them so much because they once in a while have to pull their fingers out of their arses and come over to me to actually speak to me rather than whisper across a busy room with about as much gusto as a gentle airy fart.

Another example of how fucking weird people on here are.

This week I was on my way to work. I'm always cutting it fine but this day I was about five minutes' early and feeling good. Fucking hell but a woman on crutches with one of those big shoe things stopped me. She asked if I'd help her get into her flat.

I considered telling her to fuck off because I was really busy but didn't. She hobbled really slowly towards the entrance to her building, apologising all the way for inconveniencing me .

There was a moment when she met someone with a double buggy who was obviously a neighbour who said: 'Hi Janet, how are you?' and I wanted to scream, 'Let fucking Janet in to the block because I'm late'' but I remained silent.

We got to the door eventually. Janet put her crutches by the wall, punched in the key code and said: 'I'm not strong enough to twist the handle. Could you do that for me please?'

When I did, she said I was such an angel and apologised for being a nuisance.

Random people talking to you are so fucking annoying, aren't they?

At work, I'd say if someone is wearing headphones that's a good sign they don't want to be interrupted or distracted. Unless your work requires you speak to them immediately you are being rude interrupting them.

People are just fucking weird.

I was doing an interview over the phone, When I rang off, someone said: 'Were you interviewing so-and-so? Did you ask them this?' It was something very important that I didn't know. I asked her why she didn't tell me seeing as it was very fucking important and she said she didn't want to interrupt me.

Good fucking grief.

I always wore mine in the office. I don't want to listen to inane conversations all day and be asked what I think of some stupid reality tv program that I don't even watch. And please don't come sit on my desk and sigh and wait for me to start a conversation. I'm not your pal/therapist and I don't go to work to socialise. No mystery as to why these people can't keep up with the work load.

OP, I think it's clear that you're over-involved with what other people are up to at work. I'm willing to bet you talk too much. Your poor coworker. Just leave them alone. We all need to work to make money. Why can't they just get the job done?

limited

Sorry but I'm autistic, you wouldn't know to look at me but I am, I can barely process the world around me at the best of times I mean I can hear every single fucking sound in the immediate area. I hate new people, I don't want strangers talking to me, I don't want to indulge you in chit chat I'm frankly not interested in and over stimulate myself and give myself something else to process. I don't want random strangers hugging me that would be quite frankly fucking weird if I was neorotypical I've always been told it's impolite to go round hugging strangers. If your autistic being touched is a massive fucking thing.

I'd rather skip the nectar points as they weren't mine any way.

Why on earth would your first reaction to be to swear at a child you can be nice without saying anything at all.

As for the disabled lady sure what you did was lovely but weird that she asked a complete fucking stranger she doesn't know you from Adam she's just told a complete stranger where she lives and allowed her to see her key code. Erm that's very worrying.

I'm sorry your the fucking weird one to quote you

she doesn't know you from Adam she's just told a complete stranger where she lives and allowed her to see her key code. Erm that's very worrying.

I don't know how to break this to you but complete strangers know where you live too. They gain that information by happening to pass by whenever you walk in or out of your front door. Unless you have a cloak of invisibility.

I didn't see the key code btw but about 50 people live in that block so they know it too and probably friends and family. Where is the risk to that woman? She's not giving them the key to her own front door. Weird

I’m with you limited this thread is weird. Wearing headphones at work is not a god given right and I think some people have awful entitled attitudes. I also don’t see the problem with what you did for the lady on crutches, I can’t believe how far people go to look for issues in perfectly normal scenarios.

Yes limited I don't however walk up to them and go here have my key! Come and let yourself in any fucking time you like which is effectively what this lady has done to you!

Friends and family is entirely different, although do you know what I live in a block of flats no one other than the residents have the key every one else presses the intercom of the flat their going to and their buzzed in!

I don't wear my head phones at work although I have permission to do so should they be doing work outside my office or there's something noisy.

Wearing headphones at work is not a god given right and I think some people have awful entitled attitudes.

And micro managing a team's every movement is not a sensible way of managing most people who just want to get the job done. Fair enough if there is an actual reason why having them doesn't work but otherwise why does it matter? If someone feels they can work better with headphones in then that's up to them surely if it doesn't negatively impact anyone else. FWIW I often have music on even when I WFH, I really do work better listening to music, particularly on really boring stuff.