To show you all the unbelievable mess I just made :(

[Rebeccaslicker]

Tried to open the shower screen door to let out DD's bathwater and the whole bloody thing shattered - this is halfway through the clearing up!! I'm daunted.

Tell me about times you've made a huge mess so I can feel better whilst I sweep and poor DH goes through the toilet water with a sieve please!

I've also had the broken glass and toddler combination and been really amazed at how authoritative I can be when I need to. My normally selectively deaf toddler just FROZE when I barked "stay there, don't move"

Fenella wins! Just for the sheer MR Bean ness of her accident

Making industrial sized chocolate cake at work. Clean kitchen....

Some idiot me had left the mixer on full speed... so when I switched it on, instead of a gentle stir, there was an explosion of cocoa cloud.. all over me, the walls, ceiling, floor.. and trying to clean cocoa up is a nightmare.

I've got loads 😀 mainly wine related
Booked a weekend away in a cottage next to the owners farm, we arrived it was lovely but did slightly smell like it had just been decorated. Later in bed watching TV and drinking red wine I pulled up the duvet and knocked the full glass flying all over the lemon wallpaper. We did own up the next morning and were expecting to pay for it to be redone but the owners said don't worry it was nice we'd told them as most people wouldn't.
Another time I knocked over a glass of red at home which covered the paper shade on the floor lamp plus the sail on DS playmobil pirate ship the resulting stains couldn't be removed.
The best of all was giving birth in the downstairs loo, my water breaking as DD arrived covered floor walls and ceiling 🚼

Accidentally knocked a full bag of sugar over on worktop and it tipped into the basket of wet washing below that I had just pulled out the machine, needless to say I had to wash it all again and was finding sugar for days even though I thoroughly cleaned, several times!!

One I made the MN round-up for - I had bought a big tub of glitter (think about a litre, maybe more) for a bargain price and was feeling pretty pleased with myself, envisaging loads of projects with my DC. Think uber-crafty smug mum. I let DD1, then 4, use it to make those glue-on-card pictures they were always doing on Blue Peter when I was a kid. Kindly but firmly told her to be extra-specially careful not to spill/drop it whilst I decanted a small amount into a pot for her.

And then I caught it with my elbow and whilst trying to stop it falling managed to FLIP it, and it did the most horrific but also beautiful arc through the air, showering glitter all over both of us and the whole kitchen.

That stuff doesn't come off, and adheres to hair like you wouldn't believe. DC and I were sparkly for days. And despite hoovering and scrubbing like a demon my poor kitchen was still covered in the stuff. On our moving day I a year later I could still see bits of glitter in the grouting.

The freezer. I was trying to hurry it up defrosting. I'd taken everything out and scraped a load of the ice out before I shut the door again. I must have manages to put one of the glass shelves back in wonky. It shattered in the middle of the night with an exploding noise. Going down in the dark to investigate was alarming, then when I opened the door fully, it avalanched everywhere.

Dh took his lovingly prepared lamb joint out of the oven to rest and left it on the hob. He didn’t realise the flame was on and the ancient ceramic roasting dish shattered. He had to bin it.

Crisp I nearly choked myself with icing sugar doing that. It's a nightmare to wipe up as well; dry and you can't get it all, wet and it goes so sticky

Many years ago, our pressure cooker little thingymebob on the top must have been blocked. My mother was cooking bacon. Boiled bacon. Pressure cooker exploded. The entire kitchen was covered in bacon juice. I mean the entire ceiling of the kitchen and every surface in the kitchen. That greasy sticky mess still lurks there to this day, despite new owners having purchased the house years later.

@thecanaries were you at Newnham? When I was at there we had a laminated sign in the kitchens warning you not to do exactly that with the condensed milk... surely there can't be multiple students who've done that! If it was you, I went up a few years after you and your condensed milk incident was (still) legendary with the porters!

On one occasion I managed to almost burn the house down by using a birthday cake candle to light a cigarette. I thought I had blown it out but it was in fact still smouldering. It set a pair of oven gloves on fire and then melted the worktop. Unaware I finished my cigarette, came inside and started flapping wildly. The nearest liquid to hand was a bottle of expired whole milk. I chucked it on. And then nearly chucked up with the smell. Took days to ride the house of the resultant stench. New worktop required.

Worst one was though on a freezing day last winter. My son was pretending to hoover with his toy Dyson. He whizzed down the hallway and smashed it off a radiator pipe. Red hot filthy water started spewing everywhere. I rugby tackled him to the floor and manage to get him to safety. The entire hallway had just been painted and new flooring sealed down. I had a pile of freshly washed and Ironed bedding and towels which I grabbed and tried to stem them the water with. We’d not long moved and I couldn’t find the stopcock for ten minutes. The hall flooded.
Plumber called out and miraculously arrived v quickly. He drained the remaining water from the radiators (not much) but this tripped the boiler which stopped working. We had to wait three days in Siberian temperatures with no heating or hot water and little convector heaters. My son then poured ribena onto the biggest and most effective heater and caused a power cut and electrical faults which we have to have repaired at great cost. We also ended up needing a new boiler and the floor had to be resealed.

The toy hoover was thrown out

My only phobia is glass smashing and clearing the shards up. Does the glass shower smash into safety glass bits? Now going to try and sleep and not think of our glass shower door!

Last year my 19 yr old DS walked home drunk at 6am from a friends house about 4 miles away and when we woke that morning we had no idea where he was etc - we'd had no txt message or phone call!
When he eventually got in he was lying on his bed worse for wear and I was giving him a stern lecture about letting us know where he was and not walking home in the dark drunk.
He jumped up off the bed to go to the bathroom but I wouldn't let him get past me as I stood on the landing by his door. I was determined to give him a piece of my mind and i wasn't going to let him disappear out of sight.
He then heaved and slapped his hand over his mouth but it was too late. He proceeded to projectile vomit across the landing, with his hands not stopping anything but actually causing more widespread vomit spray.
It was all over the stairs, down the banisters and walls - running down the walls into the hallway, on the carpet and the landing window sill.
If I'd let him go to the bathroom it could of all been avoided.

Hardly comparable but dropping a glass jar of jam was the hardest one to sort. Can’t sweep the glass because of the sticky jam, can’t wipe up the jam because of the glass 😑

Daughter and her DH in bed one night, heard a sound like pouring rain - shower screen in their en-suite had just completely shattered of its own free will onto the floor.

This thread makes me glad I’ve got a lowly shower curtain.

Dropped a massive 1.5l bottle of sweet chilli sauce. It went everywhere and i cut myself so much when trying to clean it up as i couldn't sweet or Hoover up the glass due to the sticky sauce.

I had a friend, (we were both 14), and his sister burnt the chip fat, then put it into a cereamic bowl and asked him to take it outside. When he got through the door the bowl exploded covering his hands and the back step in hot fat. He was rushed to A&E where his hands were wrapped in bandages, which he had on for about 6 weeks. The poor sod was mecilessly teased when we discovered that his mum had to help him have a bath and go to the loo, because he wasn't allowed to get his hands wet. Also, the grease stain on the back step was still visible years later.

I dropped a bottle of hot pink OPI nail polish into our bathroom sink by knocking it off a high shelf. Cue tiny shards of glass and effing bright pink splashes everywhere (sink, bench, floor, walls, tiles, grout, my skin...). It looked like a litre of polish! Fortunately we had spare nail polish remover in the house which meant that after a couple of hours work there was just a faint pinkish tinge to some of the grout.

This thread has made me feel a whole lot better.

My cats once knocked over a glass fish tank in the middle of the night. I heard the crash and ran downstairs, found the poor fish flopping about on the floor before the cats did and put him in a bowl of water, and then proceeded to spend 2 hours cleaning up. Smashed glass, 14 litres of water, pebbles, weed, smashed filter all over timber floors and carpet. What a fun night that was.

I'm so glad you saved the fish!

For the PP asking about the safety glass - it did make a massive mess and it was very sharp and we did get little cuts. But they were chunkier bits of glass, even when they were tiny, so what we don't have are those tiny shards that are impossible to see!

Oh no, DP did this once when he slipped in the shower. I think that glass is designed to shatter like that for safety reasons. It made a massive mess that took ages to clean up and I spent the evening picking shards of glass out of his arse with tweezers. The things we do for love...