To want a cleaner ?

[Mumof41987]

I work 40hrs per week and have 4 dcs. We live in a HUGE house and it's really becoming too much for me to manage with my working hours . My mil thinks it's disgusting to hire a cleaner and constantly tells me "in my day we had to get on with things " ( she was a sahm to 1 child ) . I am very fortunate that I could afford a cleaner but she makes me feel so lazy for even thinking of hiring one that I haven't so far . I want to be a parent that is present and fun but lately all I do every weekend is clean this damn house , I want to spend time with my kids and feel a cleaner would be a worthwhile purchase ? AIBU to hire one ? Dh works long hours also and helps where he can but all we do every weekend is catch up on washing and cleaning !

Get a cleaner

Get a cleaner....if it bothers you don't tell her

Sounds like a cleaner will make for a better addition to your life than mil!!
I am a cleaner and nothing nicer than knowing someone is coming home to a lovely clean home courtesy of my hard graft!! (except the tenner an hour!!)

Get one. I love my cleaner more than I love my DH most days. She does 2 hours a week and basically does all the floors and a quick dust. It is awesome.

You are basically buying extra time with your kids.

If you can afford it and it will make your life happier than do it.

MIL can wind her neck in...

Definitely get a cleaner, you're not being lazy. And it's none of her business!

Well I work part time, have one child and a cleaner. I wouldn't think twice about it in your case! It's simply that I'd rather pay a cleaner so I can spend the time doing something other than cleaning, I don't feel guilty! Time is worth more to me than the cost of a cleaner.

We are two full time working adults, no children and we have a cleaner. She is amazing!

Our Saturdays are no longer half spent cleaning. It’s had a really positive effect on my life and my mental health. The flat is much easier to keep on top of in the week and I don’t feel overwhelmed by it which can force me into a bit of a spiral mental health wise. If you can afford it, definitely do it!

Get a cleaner, everyone in my family (including my DH) responded like this and I ignored them and got one anyway. It’s changed my life, I can sit down on an evening and I don’t spend my weekends cleaning bathrooms and windows. Ignore what everyone else says and get one.

I’m a SAHP to two, and I have a cleaner for my small house. I don’t like cleaning and we can afford it; that’s enough justification for me.

Just don’t tell her if it bothers you that much.

I'm a SAHM with only two children. I have a cleaner, have had for years, my father has also been pushing me to get a nanny. Don't worry about what you MIL says. She's delusional.

Get a cleaner. Sod MIL!

My DH says he can smell ours has been as soon as he gets home (in a good way )

Get a cleaner - if MIL disapproves she can do it. Tbh MIL is least of your problems - finding a good cleaner is the challenge

Why does she need to know? Just don’t tell her it’s none of her business.

OP. Get a cleaner ASAP. I don't understand why your judgement is being clouded by someone trying to compare their own completely incomparable situation. Being a SAHM to one cannot be compared to FT work and 4 children!

Don't let anyone, MIL or not, make you feel bad about your choices. If they try do the broken record thing, "That worked for you, this works for us," with a smile.

If she really won't let it go "Not discussing that anymore, do you want a tea/coffee/talk to DGCs?"

Just for full disclosure, I've done this with MIL because of her regularly expressed opinions about, amongst many other things, my friends (evil witches, all of them), how often I wash my curtains, the temperature I wash my bedding, my failure to make DH's sandwiches, and most recently, the way I defrost mince.

She hasn't spoken to me for 6 months.

Do not waste another second of your life not having a cleaner!

I only work 3 days (on mat leave ATM) and have 3 children. When I return to work I will
also be getting a cleaner. It's not that unusual anymore imo, life is stressful and time is precious. Money well spent!

Get a cleaner - you're providing employment!

I'll be getting one as soon as we have finished with the builders.

Get the cleaner.

i have no kids, work 4 days a week and have a cleaner. nobodys business is it?

Thank you everyone

If I could afford one I definitely would. Don't tell mil, its got feck all to do with her

If you want a cleaner and can afford it get a cleaner. Cleaners are there to provide a service same as eating out or going out for coffee or taking stuff to a laundry to be washed and ironed.

Why on earth would you let your MIL influence how you run your house!!! I wouldn't even entertain that comment from her and wouldn't give it any weight whatsoever.

Get a cleaner - you are time poor and can’t afford to waste your time on jobs that can be outsourced. Fuck her.