Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

To not answer the door?

54 replies

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 19:51

I'm home alone with ds 18months, Dh is on evening shift, won't be home until 12. It's dark. Doorbell rang, Dog went nuts, baby shouting "dop It" at full volume over and over. He rang the bell 3 times and knocked too, dog moved the Curtin and I got a look at him, he saw me too, no clue who he is, he had a dog with him, aibu or would you have opened the door?!

OP posts:

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 20:33

We live in a bungalow, I thought of the window but the two at the front open from the bottom out and they're quite big so my imagination decides that he'd hop in the window and kill me!

OP posts:

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 20:34

That's very late for deliveries isn't it?

OP posts:

Report

Aquamarine1029 · 26/10/2017 20:37

The bottom line is whatever this man wanted is not your problem, and you would be a fool to put your safety and the safety of your child at risk by opening your door to a strange man.

Report

Spudlet · 26/10/2017 20:44

Fair enough then!

I think any thoughtful, decent man would realise why a lone woman with a small child might not feel comfortable opening the door after dark, in an isolated place.

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 20:46

Thanks ladies!

OP posts:

Report

ShotsFired · 26/10/2017 20:57

I really don't get this MN specific issue about not answering the door unless someone has prebooked an appointment slot.

Why do you even have doorbells and knockers if you only respond to callers who have registered in advance?

Anyway, a practical tip if you are alone is to yell "I'll get it!" from behind the door so the caller thinks someone else is in (similar to calling out "I'm home!" on returning to an empty house)

Report

mummypleeeaaaasseeee · 26/10/2017 20:58

A few times I’ve gone to open the door to someone and the key is gone, so i call through the foor that I’m sorry but I’m looking for the key etc.. (usually i then find it and open the door)
But I think I would actually use that excuse if I didn’t want to open the door to someone at night time and then also ask what it’s about whilst “looking for the keys”

Report

Yourownworstenemy · 26/10/2017 21:09

Fuck politeness, if you feel uneasy about answering the door of you're home alone you're absolutely right not to answer!

I never answer my door when I don't know who it is, I'm a single mother who listens to too many crime podcasts, i'd rather piss off a few charity workers or JWs and stay safe, it genuinely baffles me that people would open the door to an unknown person, it's the oldest trick in the book posing as a gas man or asking to use someone's phone and before you know it you're just another statistic! (Disclaimer; I'm a worst case scenario kind of girl!)

Report

ZootSuit · 26/10/2017 21:12

Never answer if you don’t feel comfortable!
DH works frequent night shifts, and I had someone knock 3 times a few weeks ago. It was only about 9pm but I looked out of the upstairs window and it wasn’t anyone that i recognised.
I was alone with our 2 DC and just didn’t feel right to answer.

I’d rather offend someone I know than open the door to someone I don’t!

Report

Wallabyone · 26/10/2017 21:15

No. My friend was ambushed by a man last weekend, she didn’t answer the door but he smashed his way in having seen her It’s made me very wary.

Report

BusterGonad · 26/10/2017 21:15

I'm with ShotsFired on this one, I don't understand how people's life's run smoothly if they refuse to answer the door unless a slot has been prebooked! I'm ever so baffled every time this subject comes up! The paranoia of some MNetters makes me laugh so much!

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 21:27

I don't just answer the door to people I'm expecting, if it was daytime I would have answered, but at night time, in the dark, alone with a baby surely it's ok to not answer.

OP posts:

Report

mrsdolittle · 26/10/2017 21:28

YANBU

Your house. Your door. Of course you don't have to answer it if you don't want to.

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 21:33

Wally is your friend ok? That's so scary

OP posts:

Report

Topbananaa · 26/10/2017 21:36

I'd have opened the door without even thinking about it, don't most people?!

Report

Topbananaa · 26/10/2017 21:36

Well, unless I was busy, or I knew there were charity collectors / salespeople about.

Report

silkpyjamasallday · 26/10/2017 21:37

I open the door during the day, but that's usually because I'm expecting parcels. At night if DP is out I would never open the door, if it was something important or someone I knew they could have called or texted, or will shout and make themselves known. Far too risky to open the door to a strange man as a lone woman with a baby. I'm glad I don't have a dog to alert the caller I'm in. But my area is overrun with crack and heroin addicts as there is a dealer in some flats nearby so I'm extra cautious. If someone knocks at night I immediately go and lock the back door and will go and sit in bed with the baby rather than downstairs. I have a hammer and screwdrivers by the bed as weapons

Report

Kitsharrington · 26/10/2017 21:55

I will never understand the huge swathes of MN who seem to think random men are out to murder them in their own homes. So odd!

Report

ShotsFired · 26/10/2017 22:11

... and of course it's well known that the baddies operate exclusively at nighttime, no daytime baddies anywhere at all, ready to knock on enough doors till they reach the (gasp) lone woman with a baby they can pounce on!

Report

Wallabyone · 26/10/2017 22:22

She’s very, very shaken. It was the afternoon, daylight, and he went to the back of the house over the fence and broke the glass. He let himself in by unlocking the back door and she barricaded herself in a bedroom. She won’t go back to the house now.

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 22:26

Wow shotsfired, have you considered a career in stand up? Cos you are hilarious😊 there's no need to sneer, I've never heard of anyone keeping a hammer and screwdriver next to their bed in case of a break in but if someone needs to do that to feel safe that's their prerogative.www.google.ie/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/dec/16/man-pleads-guilty-to-killing-woman-while-her-husband-listened-on-phone

OP posts:

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 22:30

Wallaby, the poor girl, I wouldn't be able to go back either.

OP posts:

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Email address

You've subscribed!

BusterGonad · 26/10/2017 22:30

Op I understand at night time, but many many MNetters do not answer the door at all!!!!

Report

lorelairoryemily · 26/10/2017 22:42

Really buster? I always do during the day! Not that very many people call

OP posts:

Report

Yourownworstenemy · 26/10/2017 22:42

I don't think anyone is implying that EVERY person that knocks unexpectedly is a murderer, but actually a lot of people are attacked in their home from opening the door to people, and I for one would rather slightly annoy someone I don't know a million times than open my door to unknown people just because other people do and it's hardly ever someone with bad intentions!

Actually the police themselves advise not opening the door to strangers

It's really just a matter of what you're comfortable with, I've been brought up to be cautious and I am happy this way, I also live in quite a secluded place which probably sways my judgement

And lastly and most importantly...have none of you neigh sayers seen Luther?!