a mother in law one I'm afraid, but bare with me.
my daughter is five months old, was born 10 weeks early and as a result has a home oxygen requirement and reflux. so not just an average run of the mill baby (if there is such a thing 
)
anyway, mil came for a visit today, and arrived just after my daughter had finished a feed. we keep her upright for at least 20/30 minutes after a feed to ensure her milk stays down, however she filled her nappy shortly afterwards so I changed her (she can handle a quick, gentle nappy change).
what she cannot handle is mil taking it upon herself to pick her up (in the time I was washing my hands) and then start bouncing her all over the place, making baby a 'superhero baby', letting her fall from one arm to the other 'catching her' and then, after my very annoyed daughter began to cry worse than she already was, the cherry on top was her putting her into her bouncer and bouncing the shit out of her.
mil left and what am I left with? projectile vomit. everywhere.
I'm tired of this, I give people the benefit of the doubt (have been very reluctant to allow in laws to have much to do with her) and I get this sheer stupidity. I've been letting in laws take her for a few hours on a sunday but she came back sunday and was just totally off all night and all day monday. so no more.
aibi to be so so so angry? I didn't get get the chance to say no, put her down, before she had her swooped up and jiggled everywhere when my back was turned. it's as if people don't believe me that she does indeed have reflux!!
AIBU?
how can people be so ignorant and stupid??
willothewisp17 · 25/10/2017 19:36
Unborn yeah, we do get the rsv jab, she's actually due her second lot tomorrow! something I'm so grateful for because I know not every premature baby is offered it but it seems to be a really sore one 
I had the sign for my pram too, but like yourself, people see it, and try to touch anyway! I've since removed it, now that she's gotten much bigger people don't seem to want to come near anymore, I think it was the tiny little baby inside the pram that was drawing attention. that and the oxygen, but we are weaning her off now, so when I take her out, I take her without it! I actually had someone come up to me in morrisons one day and question if my daughter was dying!! I was astounded, quite the opposite, she's thriving now!
I feel like I'm pushed into a lot of things and given way too many opinions, particularly about weaning! rusks in bottles have been mentioned often as has just 'blending up' our own dinners and giving them to her rather than making my own purées, my husband isn't the healthiest eater in the world and has a diet that consists of a lot of pizza, shall I blend that up
because my daughter has put on weight consistently and is looking great, people always keep saying 'there's nothing wrong with that bit healthy baby' 
so because she's gaining weight at a good rate that just removes every other problem? all babies are different, my daughter came home on oxygen and gained weight amazingly. another mum who's daughter was born the day before mine isn't gaining weight quite as well but came off her oxygen in while still in the hospital, they all have their different strengths!
I'm told that she probably doesn't need her reflux medication anymore, which couldn't be farther from the truth because every time we think it might be getting better, we let our guard down a bit and usually end up covered in vomit!
I'm also told she doesn't need her oxygen and it's ridiculous how long the weaning process is taking the list goes on! I don't even think my husband quite understands the magnitude of what could happen if she did catch something like a simple cold, I don't want anymore ventilation or cpap machine or that awful awful awful feeding tube! don't get me wrong, my husband doesn't want these things either, she loves her so much, but I don't think he understands!
I do get it, DS is the same his weight is going up great (he was 8lb 9 today) but still has the gaviscon and is waiting for a sleep study to see if we can start weaning the oxygen down he's only on 0.1.
Everyone thinks they have a right to comment on babies even full term ones. Someone once asked DS "what has nasty mammy got on your face?"
Whenever anyone not a HCP offers unsolicited "advice" I ask when they got a medical degree, if that doesn't deter them I ask them if they think they know more then DS's paediatrician.
My four year old daughter was a thirty weeker, I put up with with a lot of "advice" and let her stop out far too early. This time round I just don't have the patience.
It is tricky when it's family, when your in neonatal so long you learn the damage what mild illnesses like a cold or cough can actually do.
If you have Facebook there's a UK support group for prem's, I find it reassuring there's not just me getting hysterical at every cough and sneeze.
Just want to add my support. My DD is a 24 weeker, now 6 months, who came home on oxygen and with reflux. She's my first living child so I still follow a lot of the practices from NICU, including nappy change before feeding to avoid putting her on her back after a feed. She also has an ulcerated haemangioma (strawberry birthmark) on her shoulder which painful and bleeding, so I ask everyone to be careful of her sore shoulder. When MIL holds and asks her why she is crying, I point out that she's got her hand over the wound 
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