To think this is not for me

[alltheseasonsgosofast]

Our baby is nearly 9 months.

I feel awful saying this but I'm not enjoying being a parent at all.

Will this ever pass?

I didn't enjoy the first 6 months of having my boy. He was in NNU for 2 weeks before we could take him home then I felt i was stuck at home all the time. We lived in a second floor flat at the time so getting a pram and baby downstairs everyday was a nightmare, I'd usually go without food all day just because I didn't want to carry everything up and down the stairs. The only day I went out was Friday's as my mum didn't work that day and would come round and help with get everything down.
It got better as I forced myself to do it more, it became easier when I found a way to get everything up and down in one go and i would make a day of it, leave the flat in the morning, do shopping go for lunch, maybe meet a friend at the park then go back only when I ran out of bottles/nappies for my son.
Do you have anyone who can help you? or meet up with you for a coffee - speaking to adults is way more fun than speaking to yourself all day. Or ask mum to look after baby while you nip out somewhere and get some breathing space

It will get so much easier and I’m pretty sure loads of people feel like this but don’t say it. I would just say try not to overthink it and it will get easier.

Nah, the baby phase is really unenjoyable, at least the first time round when you are trying to get "back to normal" and it just isn't happening.

Hang in there. It gets better. Not everyone loves babies, even women who have one of their own!

I really really, really really feel you (can you tell I had an awful time on mat leave!).

It does get easier.

I had to try several toddler groups/ activities before I found 'my tribe'. I then met up with them lots outside of the groups.

I made sure I had one activity/ group/ meet up/ errand per day so I HAD to leave the house and I got some level of social interaction. It broke the day up and made me not feel so lonely.

I then went back to work, and I realised quite how hard I'd been finding it, and eventually had to admit that I'd had some pnd - lack of motivation, feeling really down, finding 'easy' tasks daunting and hard, not enjoying my baby.

The PND naturally subsided as I got in to the routine of work, the increased social activity and the lack of being a SAHM.

SAHM is not for me. I couldn't do it, at all, in any way for any reason.

And I won't be having any more children.

However, I do now enjoy most of the time spent with DS. He is 22 months, he's got a bit of personality and I get respite from him! His sleep is still appalling though (4am was out start today) and the exhaustion doesn't help my enjoyment of him.

I also got dreadful nursing aversion, but because he was a bottle refuser I had no choice but to feed. I ended up resenting him a lot. That has now passed though.

I'd very much advise getting out more - the more you do it the easier it is.

And don't be afraid to leave him in the car when you get petrol!

Thanks for your answers.

I do not 'want to give my kid away', it has never even once crossed my mind to give my child away. I am just finding it very hard, I know it's temporary, but it's still hard.

It is hard, but often its how you choose to look at it. What was the actual issue with getting petrol?

Who has suggested "giving your kid away"?

I really disliked being a mum of babies. I rather like being a mum of actual children though! Some parents love the baby days. You don't. I and many others don't. It's OK. Like a PP it took me a long time to settle into being a mum, but I did find my groove somewhere along the way!

I have needed anti depressants at points to get me though, obviously I'm not recommending it as a universal solution but it can be fairly easy to slip into depression during the long, lonely thankless days. It's fine if you feel like you might need a trip to the GP. (I am just telling my story, I am not diagnosing you or recommending you need medication!)

It does get better, really. There will come a day when you can just get in the car with a child and a handbag with no dramas. Hang in there

It gets easier in some respects, harder in others, different people find different stages the most enjoyable
BUT
parenting is hard, frustrating, stressful and often dull.

I adore my ds and love being a mum and I still feel all of the above on a daily basis.

So don't beat yourself up that you're not enjoying every second. I think not everybody does.

I hated having babies. Monotonous and unrewarding and sleepless. I hate nappies, I hate breast feeding, I hate bottle feeding, I hate he sound of crying !

I love having children. Love it. My DC are almost 5 and 2.5 and I love hanging out with them. The little one has his toddler challenges but I get sleep, they talk, they play, they are funny.
Hang on in there and don't feel bad about how you feel. As long as you don't think you are depressed then carry on keeping him alive, show him love and enjoy him when he's older!