I’ll preface this by saying I’m very sleep-deprived and a bit stressed due to a few issues this morning. So I’m fully prepared to be told (nicely!) that IABU due to over-sensitivity caused by tiredness. Just wondered what others opinions are tho, because I’m not v good at standing up for myself or being assertive if someone crosses a line, and wondered if I should’ve been a bit more assertive here...
On way to drop DS(4) at nursery earlier (just me and youngest, as oldest was already at school) a random stranger calls over the road to me, shouting “you got two then?”. I was initially 
but realised she too had a DD with her of about same age so I crossed rd to walk with her to answer her, and ascertained through deduction that our youngest are both at same nursery (although she didn’t actually tell me this, just seemed to assume I knew this despite fact I’d not seen her before). She told me she “assumes I work” because I always look harried and like I don’t have enough time in the day. I sort-of laughed in surprise and I was a bit caught off-guard because I’ve honestly never seen this woman or her DCs before (despite me being v sociable with all local parents and being the kind of person who’ll always chat to all other parents at school/nursery etc). She went on to tell me (unsolicited) that I always look like I’m rushing and stressed, and that she doesn’t know how or why I’d live like that. She told me “I didn’t go back to work after having mine, so I can’t imagine rushing around like you do- you never look like you’re managing to juggle everything”. This was said in a really blunt, matter-of-fact way, not with any concern or compassion, just a sort-of voyeuristic bluntness which seemed a bit at-odds with what I’d feel appropriate to say to a complete stranger.
I’m all for having a good off-load to other mums and/or offering sympathy or help with school-runs etc and discussing the complex jigsaw of family life, but this woman wasn’t offering any smiles/sympathy/tips/solidarity, she just seemed to want to approach a stranger, tell them she’s basically been watching them and they appear to have their hands too full & be poor at being places on time, outline that she herself doesn’t understand why I do this because she doesn’t have this problem what with being a SAHM, and then not get the hint at all when she saw me blushing and looking a bit embarrassed/taken-aback.
I found myself pathetically explaining why this term’s been a bit less organised than usual (a change in my job, trialling a different permutation of breakfast club provision, youngest starting pre-School and having a major operation etc... and felt I was sort-of defending myself against insinuations that I am poor at coping or inadequate.
The fact is, having two kids at two different schools, a demanding professional job (albeit part-time) and lots of volunteering/fund-raising duties for the school etc does make life busy for anyone. It’s not insurmountable or deserving of pity or condemnation from strangers, it’s jusf how life is for a lot of parents (everyone I know!). We cut eachother some slack, not call-out strangers in the street to tell them we think they’re effectively hapless and disorganised.
So, AIBU to have come away feeling a bit odd about this encounter and this fellow parent? And should I grow a backbone when next I see her, and have something assertive but clear to say to her about the realities of being a working parent, in case if any further unsolicited sly digs? If so, what??! 