To wonder why a man in the office next to mine asked whether I've ever got a train to work?

[Mimsy123]

I told him I haven't, but was just shocked that he would think I have. I work in an office, why does he assume that I can fix trains?

Mumsnet. By parents for the young in heart and the weak in the head.

She PMed me, Orlando, didn't you get your instructions to laugh?

No! I take my laugh back now.

CARROT!

Moonlight a carrot?

Arf @ carrot.

I went to the zoo recently, the only animal they had was a small dog. It was a Shi Tzu.

A lad at work today asked if he could smell my fanny. I told him "absolutely not!" He said "It must be your feet then."

Yup! Carrot it is.

You can’t beat an old but a goldie.

Cheers mimsy

About a month before my grandfather died, we covered his entire back with a thick layer of lard ................... after that, he went downhill very quickly.

That's one of my favourite Milton Jones jokes.