Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Enjoy strictly come dancing has become a battle

57 replies

isittooearlyforgin · 21/10/2017 20:43

So! I have become embroiled in a weekly weekend battle where I am desperate to watch strictly come dancing and my family (husband, 2 children who are over 10) seem to do their best to spoil it for me. It's become a running theme as to why I take it so seriously and to lighten up yet it deeply upsets me and have only just realised why
I have literally given up everything for my family, free time, daily run, reading, sleep etc. Although it's tiny, it's the one thing just for me I care about and no one seems to get it. All I'm asking for is an hour obe a week without anyone asking me for anything, I can just thoroughly enjoy completely pointless entertainment and no one will let me (little things like walking in front of the telly, arguing, demanding attention etc. ) is it really you much to ask?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/10/2017 20:46

It sounds pretty selfish of them. Do they think they are being funny - not that that's an excuse.

If you told your dh how you are feeling, would he listen, understand and back you up?

Cosmosgrowinmygarden · 21/10/2017 20:48

No OP, it shouldn't be too much too ask. I think your problem may be just the fact you have given up so much. Time to put yourself first sometimes, we all need me time. My advice is to take up the running again, and possibly once or twice a week have an early night with a good book. Make it clear to your family that you are an individual too.

Original poster
isittooearlyforgin · 21/10/2017 20:50

I don't think they get my underlying issue and why would they? I'm just mum who does everything. If I only just realised myself why something so trivial is so important how can I expect them to?

OP posts:
Justanothernameonthepage · 21/10/2017 20:51

YANBU but can you start doing other things just for you? Even on night a week where DH is responsible for everything and you can go out, see friends etc. (Or start ballroom dancing lessons?) And perhaps stop doing so much for them - they are old enough to realise you deserve consideration.

ginteresting · 21/10/2017 20:53

Yanbu, Can you not go upstairs to watch strictly in peace? On a side note they're over 10, surely you can carve out some me time by now?

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 21/10/2017 20:54

I’ve actually given up watching Strictly live! I now watch it after DS(3) is in bed or when DD (11 weeks) wants a midnight feed.
I appreciate that I have not helped at all! Grin
Keeeeeeeeep dancing!

Original poster
isittooearlyforgin · 21/10/2017 20:54

Does anyone put there ever feel it's a battle to be an individual and to persevere with the things that make you you? I lost weight, was fit and cooked well but I feel it just needs such a lot of push back I can't keep fighting against what the other people in my family want (24/7 attention, cooking, cleaning, work etc etc ) that it's easier to give in despite feeling healthier when I pursue my own life choices. Just constant juggling. I completely admire those of you who make time for themselves and resist constant demand on them

OP posts:
Tilapia · 21/10/2017 20:55

YANBU. Maybe they think you’re sort of joking and don’t realise you’re properly upset? You need to put your foot down OP!

PurpleDaisies · 21/10/2017 20:57

It sounds like this is just one example of you feeling undervalued and not respected by your family. It sounds absolutely rotten.

Trailedanderror · 21/10/2017 20:59

Sometimes you just have to lose your shit to be appreciated.
Flowers

Justanothernameonthepage · 21/10/2017 21:00

It can be hard to carve out time. But it is really important to do so. Have a look for local courses on something that interests you (our local dance school runs 'strictly style courses' where you learn basics each week of different dances.) Once you start having an evening to yourself it isn't such a problem to keep it going. And at 10+ childcare isn't normally such a big issue. But running (zombierun app is good) etc is fun. Also use words. Tell them all that you feel and ask if they can start relying on you so much.

ParadiseCity · 21/10/2017 21:00

YANBU. Spell it out to them. My kids are 11 and 12 and I feel jaded after a decade of parenting. It builds up. So I have told them I expect more of them and my DH too - we have always shared stuff but I've always been the backstop iyswim.

ForalltheSaints · 21/10/2017 21:01

YANBU

crikeycrumbsblimey · 21/10/2017 21:03

Every night write down 5 things you have done that evening for them. Next Saturday when they start - read them out and ask why it is too much to ask to have an hour.

Lose you shit basically x

MyWhatICallNameChange · 21/10/2017 21:03

Do you have a friend who also watches it? My friend goes round her neighbour's house each week to watch it in peace.

It's not fair that they don't leave you to watch it, but it's probably because you're there, and you're always there.

Alternatively get a tv in your bedroom and a lock for the Door!

Redcliff · 21/10/2017 21:05

I watch pretty much all TV I like on catch up so feel your pain. I assume like me you only have the one TV. I would explain to my OH and ask him to keep the kids occupied if needed. Good luck

Original poster
isittooearlyforgin · 21/10/2017 21:05

Thank you. Really good to hear from those who've been there done that. But it really is quite frankly relentless isn't it! The more you give the more they want. I love that my kids know I'm there for them in a way my parents were never there for me but do get the feeling that I am just worn down by it all. Love my family but just wish I didn't feel so guilty when I try and do own thing.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 21/10/2017 21:06

I think you need to get serious with them and spell out how much you do and that you are entitled to an hour which is not about them. It´s time they learnt consideration.

Original poster
isittooearlyforgin · 21/10/2017 21:07

Great responses! Particularly crikey... Great suggestion x

OP posts:
MarmaladeIsMyJam · 21/10/2017 21:10

I would be furious. They aren't toddlers FGS! What is your husband doing in all this? My husband always steps in if the kids are mithering me and tells them to leave me alone!

dataandspot · 21/10/2017 21:14

With two children over ten you should have far more time for yourself than one hour a week!

BalloonSlayer · 21/10/2017 21:15

One of the main things I like about Strictly is that it's live. Proper live. When things go wrong, they go wrong.

So few programmes are live these days.

I hate hate HATE it when DH puts it on pause because "lets just do blahdeblah we can watch it later." It RUINS it.

Occasional pauses for loo breaks etc are acceptable as they enable us to fast-forward through excruciating VTs eg "This week we're doing a SALSA, so we're going to a SALSA factory to see how SALSA is made!" and to dance in front of a crowd of uncomfortable employees of aforementioned Salsa factory.

The only solution is to get the DC interested so they want to watch it too.

Original poster
isittooearlyforgin · 21/10/2017 21:16

On the plus side I bloody love Strictly, it just makes me smile no matter what else is going on on life. I looooove susan! When im allowed to watch her

OP posts:
Montacute · 21/10/2017 21:18

YANBU

Spell it out to the fuckers using short, loud, blunt words. And stop giving up everything for your family. Doesn't seem to have been appreciated so far.

C8H10N4O2 · 21/10/2017 21:23

Spell it out to the fuckers using short, loud, blunt words. And stop giving up everything for your family. Doesn't seem to have been appreciated so far

^This

Its just unkind apart from anything else. A joke would be a few minutes at the beginning, continuing after it stopped being funny is just nasty.

Swipe left for the next trending thread