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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone else get ignored in shops?

106 replies

mydogmymate · 21/10/2017 15:35

This morning I took the dc for a fry up at a local cafe. Loads of people waiting to be served but just two young girls chatting behind the counter and ignoring everyone. This went on for a good 15 minutes, I was there before anyone else, then another woman came out and barked at me to join the queue. I said I’ve been here for 15 minutes and she just looked through me. I was so mad that I grabbed the dc and stormed out.
Next, the chemist. Three people working, no customers, stood there for a good 10 minutes before saying “excuse me” really loud. I was eventually served by a reluctant pharmacist.
Then, the bank. Same thing, being ignored. Two cashiers, no customers.
Is it just me? It seems to be in nearly every chemist I go in. They’re busy and customers get ignored for ages. I have a customer facing job and if I dated like this I’d be sacked 😡

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 22/10/2017 13:37

Carry a big bag, holdall size, and shop staff will follow you around.

malmi · 22/10/2017 13:48

If you want more than one sandwich in Subway then tell them at the start so they can prepare them in parallel if they want to.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 22/10/2017 14:25

CasparMum Your grandad was very rude, and you are too if you're going to copy his unacceptable behaviour.

You may get what you want, but you attitude is appalling. It's not okay to treat anyone like that, especially someone who you know has no choice but to be nice to you.

Fekko · 22/10/2017 14:44

Well it's one way to get some phlegm in your coffee I suppose...

Want2bSupermum · 22/10/2017 14:59

It happened to me in coast for the first time. I was with my youngest and had stopped into the shop with my father and sister. Baby got fussy so I dealt with her. My sister was being rude to the assistants and I really needed help because my dad was fading. I asked for help only to be ignored. Finally this young assistant threw a dress at me which was nothing that I could wear for work. I threw it back at her and told my dad and sister I was taking the baby to Hobbs and LK Bennett.

Came back 45mins later having shopped in both places getting everything I needed. Walked into coast and the assistant who threw the dress at me asked if I had gone for a walk to settle the baby. Told her no I went to their competition, got what I needed and was left with enough time to make a couple of work calls. She looked at me and said 'Oh when I have my children I'm not going to work. It's more important you stay home with your children.' I told her kindly that she obviously hasn't had children nor had to pay for them. I've changed jobs this year and I used to spend about £100 a week on clothes. It's doubled because in my new role I'm the CFO of one subsidiary companies.

Fekko · 22/10/2017 15:20

This is why I shop online!

Therealslimshady1 · 22/10/2017 15:21

I always dress for shopping

Mainly as my dog hair covered leggings,and fleeces, whilst comfy and fine for my average day of dog walking and working from home, depress me when I spot myself in a window, when out.

I always wear a tailored long camel coat or similar, and approach people directly. I don't ever hover and wait, I'll ask "excuse me, are you free?" (Insert big smile) Always,works. In waitrose, B&q, JL, cafe's, anywhere.

It is almost as if I adopt a "shopper persona", I got myself a free makeover yesterday just because I fancied one, I said:" I would love to try out this, this and this.mind you, I am not buying anything today". Got a few samples to play with at home. I cannot keep this super confident shopper persona going in a pharmacy though.

Pharmacies and Post offices utterly defeat me.

eurochick · 22/10/2017 15:25

I'm pretty assertive but I've played the waiting game at car dealerships to see if anyone thought my 20k was worth 5 minutes of their time. Apparently not in Audi or Volvo (even when I parked my existing Volvo on their forecourt). Jaguar Land Rover did serve us, but after showing us a car outside the salesman left the door to slam in our faces as we followed him back to the showroom and then walked off. Mercedes were brilliant though - attentive without being pushy. Guess what I have sitting on my driveway now.

Fekko · 22/10/2017 15:29

We had the same in Volvo - completely ignored us and a man who came in behind us to bring his car in for a service. We ended up walking across the road to another dealer who was brilliant and not at all pushy.

They even let DS play with the motorbikes and gave him a load of branded stuff and a hot chocolate. And I asked for a discount and got it.

Silverthorn · 22/10/2017 15:45

Car dealerships don't like cash buyers because they can put a huge mark up on the hire purchase type deals.
I'm generally an invisible person. People walk into me in the street all the time. I find i have to adopt a steely eyed look and make eye contact to get noticed.

upaladderagain · 22/10/2017 21:14

In a smaller branch of Debenhams on Monday there was not a single member of staff on the first or second floors. So I didn't buy anything, there was no-one to complain to and I could probably have carried out a suitcase full of loot without being noticed. Sorely tempted to say which branch it was!

ethelfleda · 22/10/2017 22:29

Paha - case in point Grin

user1497863568 · 22/10/2017 23:00

I get followed and checked suspiciously.

SabineUndine · 22/10/2017 23:08

I was ignored in a fancy boutique the other day. The staff clearly thought a size 22 middle aged woman was in the wrong shop. Well they sell bags, shoes and accessories even if their clothes don’t fit me. After five minutes I grabbed what I wanted and took it to the till. I also complained via email to their head office.

Women of a certain age and size ARE invisible. I’m not having it.

MontyPythonsFlyingFuck · 22/10/2017 23:15

The one that totally boils my piss is "I'm not till-trained" if you ask someone in a supermarket or other multi-tilled place to open another till. It's not their fault, it's their employer's, but FFS! If your business model depends on you being able to take money from people who want to exchange it for stuff, why the FUCK would you not have every single possible person trained to be able to take their money? It's ridiculous.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 22/10/2017 23:29

MontyPythonsFlyingFuck It would be absolutely ridiculous to train every single staff member on tills on the off chance one rude customer would demand another be opened.

It would be a waste of time, money and resources.

oldlaundbooth · 22/10/2017 23:32

Sometimes.

Went in Starbucks on a Monday morning at - 10am, five staff working. One person serving. I waited around ten minutes to order and there was only one person in front of me.

Some people are just slow.

SleightOfMind · 22/10/2017 23:39

I’m definitely ‘a certain age’ but I’ve never been ignored like that.
Even if you were kind of invisible, you had the DCs with you too. I don’t blame you for being freaked out, it sounds weird.
Pharmacies otoh. What do They get up to back there that takes so long?
15 mins with a sick child and little sibs for half a bottle of banana flavoured goo.

SleightOfMind · 22/10/2017 23:45

I slam my hand down on the counter and shout, ‘Shop!’
That’s insane in so many dimensions but
we must all start doing this in pharmacies. Grin

Protectingmydaughterfromfilth · 23/10/2017 00:01

I get the snobbery too. I suffer from Hyperhydrosis on my face, scalp, neck & back. I overheat massively, therefore I can’t wear make up, my hair always looks greasy, no matter how often I wash it. I’m always perspiring and even in winter I have to wear t shirts and crappy quality clothes, otherwise I get hot and become soaked with a dripping face etc. Sorry, I know it’s not nice to imagine but think what it feels like?!
My NHS won’t treat it, long story.

So anyway, I always look rough as you can imagine. And believe me, I am treated as such. I can’t go out for long before the perspiration starts, and places like Primark are a nightmare.
If I get treated like scum ONE more time I’m going to explode! I always explain to nearly everyone who serves me that I have a medical/hormonal condition which causes this but most times you can tell they don’t believe me, given the lack of half decent clothing and the t shirt in winter etc. You can tell they think I’m some kind of addict that is so off their heads that they don’t even realise what season it is!!!

Protectingmydaughterfromfilth · 23/10/2017 00:03

*My local NHS Trust I meant!

melj1213 · 23/10/2017 02:08

If your business model depends on you being able to take money from people who want to exchange it for stuff, why the FUCK would you not have every single possible person trained to be able to take their money?

Because it's not their job, just like it's not my job to stack the shelves, or make the pizzas or bake the bread or tidy the clothes or sweep the floors or collect the trolleys or man the security desk or pack the home shopping orders or deliver the click and collect parcels or make the tea in the cafe or count the money or order the stock and so on and so forth. Supermarkets have many roles beyond "checkout colleague" and not every colleague is comfortable working a till and if they're a shop floor colleague then they have no obligation to take on extra training just on the off-chance there's nobody else available.

Some colleagues aren't allowed to use the tills for H&S reasons - one of the shop floor colleagues in my store isn't till trained as she has a medical condition that means she can't sit for long periods of time (queue busters may need to be on the checkout for anything up to an hour which is too long for her to sit) but the tills are not at the right height for her to be able to stand comfortably at one for more than a few minutes either; another colleague of mine works on the deli counter - he can't go on the checkouts any more because he had a sports injury to his shoulder that affects what he can lift and checkout staff are required to be able to lift things like crates of beer, packs of water bottles, heavy bags of cat litter etc ...

They may just have started/be new to the store - if they aren't a checkout operator then training for their actual role will be given priority to make sure they know what is involved in their main job. Once they have completed that settling in/training period, if they choose to, they can ask to be till trained so that they can help out when necessary.

Some shop floor staff may be under 18 and so aren't allowed to use the tills - theoretically they can but in my company they'd need a supervisor to override and authorise any age restricted product which would defeat the point of having them there to help reduce the queues.

And some staff are till trained but aren't allowed to go on a till even if it is busy because they are required to do another role that supersedes the importance of working the till - eg a checkout supervisor needs to be free to go to any checkout that needs them to override something or check a price or get a game/console etc. So if there's only one supervisor on shift then they can't go on a till, but rather than get into the whole explanation of why they can work the till but can't open a new one they go with the statement that can't be argued with that they aren't trained.

Pharmacies otoh. What do They get up to back there that takes so long?

Their job of weighing/counting/measuring out prescription drugs, confirming quantities and dosages, consulting the medical information, double checking the information, confirming no risk of drug interactions, and generally making sure they aren't making a mistake that could kill someone because they misread a dosage/quantity or gave a prescription to the wrong person.

I had to thank a pharmacist from saving me from a potentially lethal mistake a doctor had made once - I take a medication for a chronic condition and a doctor prescribed me a different medication for an illness I had. Fortunately the pharmacist remembered I was on this other medication (from filling my prescriptions for the last few years) as the drug I had been prescribed for my illness would have had a very bad drug interaction with my existing one and could have resulted in lethal side effects. As soon as he saw my prescription he had alarm bells ringing in his head and so he spent the time looking up the two drugs and checking their status to see the issue instead of just filling the prescription and potentially killing me.

RemainOptimistic · 23/10/2017 02:25

I'm interested to read the advice to verbally demand attention when this happens. I have resting bitch face and have been told I'm "scary". So I'm probably much less assertive than I should be, because I'm sick of people assuming I'm a bitch. In shops I do the hanging back and silently seething thing. But next time I'll try speaking Grin and perhaps report back..

Want2bSupermum · 23/10/2017 02:29

What drives me crazy with the pharmacy is that I go in sainsburys and tell them I would like to collect after I've done my shopping. I run off only to return half an hour later to be told I now have to wait because it's been put away as I was longer than 20mins.

It's a small thing but really annoying when you are in a rush trying to get things done on a really tight timeframe.

hiddley · 23/10/2017 02:36

Happened to me once in a bank while the two tellers had a lovely conversation between themselves for five minutes. I complained to their Head Office and was pleasantly surprised when their head of Customer Service rang me to get details of the time and what I was wearing so that he could look at CCTV. He rang me back the next day and said that I had indeed been ignored for six minutes and that the member of staff in question was being given further training. I stayed with the bank.

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