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Original poster

To ask for your stories of fucking up on your first day at a new job?

79 replies

SussexMedley · 20/10/2017 19:20

Started a new job today (it's funny hours that include weekends). Fucked up. I'm smarter than my anxiety disorder has me appear sometimes, but anyway I fucked up on my very first day of a job I really really want.

Please tell me your tales of fucking up on your first day. Happy endings or shit endings, I don't mind. They'll make me feel better either way.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Redtartanshoes · 20/10/2017 22:15

Spilt coffee all
Shen my pale pink shirt on way into office. Liked like a fucking tramp

Mumto2two · 20/10/2017 22:22

Got lost on way back from loo..had to ask for directions back to my dept...then discovered the person I'd asked was the chairman who was visiting our site for the day Blush

Seren85 · 20/10/2017 22:23

First proper day after three weeks classroom based training during which I'd met my boss once. I was up most of the night panicking and must have eventually passed out slept through my alarm. I had to ring new boss and apologise profusely. Thankfully she said well it happens to us all but I was on pins for months. I was a FTC and desperate to get a permanent role so I was terrified. Still there a few years later though and now have at least three alarms set every day.

GrapesAreMyJam · 20/10/2017 22:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

crazymissdaisy · 20/10/2017 22:33

New teacher, first job, first lesson ( of bitchy y12 girls) I wrote on the whiteboard with permanent marker pen.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 20/10/2017 22:34

Not me, but a friend started working as a junior reporter for the local paper. like with many local rags cutting photographer costs, he was asked to take a picture for something as well as write the story. It was some family day by the local lake. He dropped the very fancy £2000 camera into the lake. He ended up working there for 2 years!

Jenala · 20/10/2017 22:42

My first social work role after qualifying I had to go home halfway through the first day of induction. This was due to a complication from a lumbar puncture I'd undergone 2 days previously. My head was in the worst pain and the only way to stop it, I knew, was lay flat. So they laid me down on the floor of a meeting room waiting for DP to pick me up. I then missed the next 3 days as I went to hospital for a procedure to fix it and they admitted me for 2 nights.

Fast forward 4 years and I interview successfully for a role in another team, within the same organisation. Had to give 2 months notice in my previous team during which time I fell pregnant. I suffer from awful sickness and had to ring my new manager the Friday before I was due to start to say a)I'm pregnant so won't be with you long and b)I've been signed off sick for the first two weeks Blush I was mortified but couldn't keep anything down, no way I could work.

My manager clearly disliked me the entire time and said in front of the team on my last day that she 'supposed' she was glad I got the job. Don't blame her to be honest.

CharlieCoCo · 20/10/2017 22:48

2 different nanny jobs.

job one: first day with baby who cried all day and toddler who was sick. mum was away and I was babysitting so a long long day and new to the area so knew no one or where anything was so really thrown in deep end. I was batch cooking and trying to comfort hysterical baby who wouldn't sleep. turned on the blender and walked away and it vibrated off the side, onto the floor, smashed and "lost" all the food too. both kids cried from the bang, I cried, mum decided that was a good time to call. she was lovely and must have called the dad as when he came home later that day he had bought me a bottle of wine and congratulated me on "surviving my first day" and said blenders are replaceable, the children are not and I coped with them lol

second job: had an amazing first day and the kids got on so well with me straight away, I was happy and relaxed. they had a massive car and a tiny driveway. end of the day I scratched up the car trying to park it and the whole of the drivers side was scratched up. told the dad who had come home after work to say night to the kids before going to the pub. he pulled a face and said 'ok' and I thought shit I'm going to get fired. he went to the pub and came home tipsy and said he's looked and its fine, the other side of the car was worst-his wife had made a massive dent and was in deed worst. I did have to put up with "women drivers" for the rest of my 2 year employment but they were otherwise lovely.

Polarbearflavour · 20/10/2017 22:49

My initial flight as cabin crew after training. It was all so new to me and I ended up bursting into tears in the cabin Blush

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 20/10/2017 22:53

Admittedly not me but my lovely (normally v organised!) friend turned up to completely the wrong job.

She's a nanny and had a bunch of interviews with a bunch of families over a 2w period, she was offered a job which she accepted and they said "start Monday" as it was an emergency so she didn't go to the house for a second time as she normally would

So Monday comes round and she turns up at the house and the cleaner answers and she explains she's the new nanny and introduces herself, cleaner, knowing the family were looking for a new nanny, warmly greets her and shows her downstairs where the children were whilst the parents got ready for work, she busies herself saying hi to the kids (that she met at the interview) and tidying up when the mum comes downstairs and asks what on earth she's doing, friend (who is a very smiley person so I can imagine the inane grin on her face at this point) laughs and says she's here to work.

It transpires that although she had spoken on the phone to the family offering her the job, they called her from a umber she hadn't saved under any name and she had managed to get them completely confused with another family (as there was no name to compare it too)...she's in the kitchen of a family who probably think this is a bit of a Hand That Rocks The Cradle situation at this point...and she has a bunch of missed calls off and irate messages off the family she's supposed to be with....she ended up staying with them (the ones who had offered her the job) for 3 years but 5 years later she still hasn't lived it down!

Fosterdog123 · 20/10/2017 22:54

Some of these have had me chortling away!!

First week - Asked PA for a taxi number, which she duly gave me. I booked a taxi to the airport. Chauffeur driven car turned up, complete with a driver with a hat! I got mixed up and booked it to the wrong airport. Had no choice but to book onto another flight, which turned out to be extremely expensive. It cost the company hundreds more to get me from a to b. I was mortified but my boss just laughed at me!

I was also asked to put together a presentation, which I did. I'd come from a job with a creative American company and was used to colourful bright jazzy slides. New job was in a much more sober environment. I was excited to show my new boss my brilliant work, which I just knew he'd be dazzled by. Instead, he raised an eyebrow at me and said, you know when you get in a car and you've forgotten to turn the radio off and so it comes on at full volume and scares the life out of you....well that's how I now feel!!! Again, mortified!

Blackadderspants · 20/10/2017 22:58

My first week at my first ever job in publishing. This was 25 years ago and they had a huge, state of the art colour photocopier in the basement, which had an "arm" attachment which swung across to magnify things. I needed to photocopy something but had no idea how to use it but thought "how hard can it be?" Pulled a lever which released the arm and then watched in horror as it swung across, crashing down onto the photocopier glass which shattered and fell down into the innards of the machine. It was out of action for weeks and cost them hundreds to fix. I managed to stay in the job for another 5 years!

raspberrysuicide · 20/10/2017 23:02

First day, running late and got stuck behind slow car. Was getting quite annoyed and tried to overtake, they sped up and I ended up having to drop back behind them.
Got to where I worked they pulled in there too.
I'd been following my new boss!

FoxyRoxy · 20/10/2017 23:04

Not first day but first week as cabin crew I opened a carton of tomato juice and due to the pressure it practically exploded all over the guy in the seat next to my trolley. I had to give him a voucher to cover the cost of the dry clean Blush

PovertyPain · 20/10/2017 23:08

Spelt my OWN NAME wrong on my very important pass and had to pretend that it was an Irish spelling. Worked in the same place for over 20yrs. Like.what.the.fuck! My own bloody name that I had since birth. Oh good grief OP, why did you remind me? 😳

Hawkmoth · 20/10/2017 23:13

I couldn't find the switch on the computer so fiddle about until I found one. Turned out it was the blow up hard drive for security switch...

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 20/10/2017 23:16

First day in new job. Got a call from the Police to say my father had died. My mother had a heart attack that night.

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 20/10/2017 23:17

Within an hour of being there on my first day I got the most hideous migraine. I had to lie down on some chairs as I couldn’t stand up without being sick. 😳

They were all very nice about it though.

StringandGlitter · 20/10/2017 23:19

A friend of mine, an IT manager, got stuck in his anorak (the zip broke) and he had to be helped out of his coat by his new manager on his first day of work.

Still makes me giggle just picturing the scene. The humiliation.

dantdmistedious · 20/10/2017 23:21

What did you do before I tell my story?!

rosenylund · 20/10/2017 23:22

New job earlier this year, left early to arrive nicely punctual. I can see the office down the road, then woman crashes into me. Arrived at my new job an hour later shaking like a leaf with panda eyes. Good start.

puttingthegenieback · 20/10/2017 23:26

Very first day, straight out of uni, as an assistant at a very posh, very famous art gallery. Armed with a set of keys and (so I thought) the correct code for the security system, and eager to impress, I was the first one to show up that morning. I set off the alarm. That's when I discovered I'd written down the code all wrong. The police came.

littlemisscomper · 20/10/2017 23:27

It can't compare to some of these, but it was very stressful for me: as a young newly qualified nanny, very conscientious and eager to please, I had to ring my very first family on my very first day to say I couldn't make it in because of the icey road. I lived in the countryside and my poor little Vauxhall corsa couldn't even make it to the end of the unsalted lane! I can't remember how many days I missed but it was not a great start! Still, I went on to have 3 happy years with them.

raspberrysuicide · 20/10/2017 23:32

Job in children's home, had jacket potato for lunch. I put vinegar on it and didn't realise there was no sprinkler in the vinegar bottle and dumped half a bottle of vinegar all over my lunch!
I just laughed and ate it anyway feeling really silly and embarrassed.

Then a few weeks later the boys brought it up and said they knew I would be a really good member of staff when I did that!

BakedBeans47 · 20/10/2017 23:35

I didn’t turn up for mine. My grandad died and my mum arranged his funeral for my first day! I asked to push my start date back a day but my boss kept the start date as was and gave me paid compassionate leave. On my next 2 days my son was then ill and off school thank goodness my husband was able to be off and then my mum took him or I’d have missed my first 3 days!

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