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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask what church I should be looking for?

112 replies

BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 03:28

I was reared Catholic but for countless reasons do not wish to have anything to do with that church.
Is there a similar teaching? I've heard Church of England, but I don't see any churches named that.

I would like to have a church to turn to, just not the one I was brought up in.

What is the nearest one to Catholicism? What is the name of churches I should look out for locally or indeed what should I google?

OP posts:

HowcouldIpossiblyknow · 20/10/2017 07:06

Are you ever anywhere near London Bridge op? In that case you might find Southwark Cathedral is what you're looking for - you can go in at any time, no need for a service. It's huge, not empty, but the times I've been it has been quite quiet during the day.

High church c of e congregations do have a fair few former rc people, it seems to be not at all unusual.

HotelEuphoria · 20/10/2017 07:08

Loads of C of E churches. In my small town there are 4, I RC, 1 Methodist and one LDS.

Interesting thoughts OP, my mum is a RC deserter too, as is my best friend. Both have been regular CofE church goers for many many years since deflection.

Original poster

BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 07:10

They sound like good suggestions BriechonCheese. I'm also Irish. I lack the strength at the moment to travel around or even look up transport to get places. I just wish someone told me there's a church around the corner. I'm really not religious normally. I just need to be in a cathedral and light a candle and pray and that's it. It would be nice to be part of a church that sang or something but I'm not too good at going places when I'm supposed to so I'd probably arrive 2 hours after it was all over. I can't seem to cope with deadlines/appointments.

OP posts:

Lumpylumperson · 20/10/2017 07:13

I go to an Elim church.

Very, very different than what you decide. It’s very modern and very lovely. Might not be what you’re looking for as there no candles or pews etc but might be worth googling Elim near you.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/10/2017 07:14

the city churches are more likely to be open, you have to pay to go into our local cathedral but not if you want to pray. they can give you service times. the nearby parish church is also open in the day. maybe it si the same near you.

Pantah630 · 20/10/2017 07:17

Greek Orthodox is similar to Catholic and High CofE, there are a couple in London, biggest I think is Bayswater.

Original poster

BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 07:19

In a former life lol, I actually lived in Southwark. Now I'm quite a bit away. Never noticed a cathedral there? I was more towards London Bridge though? I'm struggling to get on and do stuff which is why I'm needing a little bit of spiritual comfort.

OP posts:

Pantah630 · 20/10/2017 07:19

StSophia

BurnTheBlackSuit · 20/10/2017 07:42

How about this one: www.stmichaelswalthamstow.org/index.html
It says on their website that "We are a friendly and welcoming church family in the Catholic tradition of the Church of England". Sounds perfect for you- a CofE church which is a bit Catholic? It has a Mass and a Father so sounds like it would be familiar to you.

I hope you find comfort.

AngeloMysterioso · 20/10/2017 07:49

Have PM’d you a recommendation Bob, really hope you check it out!

Heatherjayne1972 · 20/10/2017 07:52

I suggested going to lots of different types of church in your area
Try them out

The one for you will be friendly and welcoming

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 20/10/2017 07:54

Different churches will have different atmospheres.
The one I go to has a range of services, so a lighter "all age worship" mainly pitched at involving families, and more traditional communion services with the organ and choir.
I definitely feel more settled and soothed after I've been.

I hope you can find a church that works for you

Caulk · 20/10/2017 07:57

Have you lived in the area long? There must be churches that you’ve walked past. My church isn’t on a main road but it’s still pretty obvious if you are what I mean. It’s also open all the time for people to go in.
I’d try St Michael’s, listed above as that sounds high CofE. How about a cathedral or abbey if you want large and ornate? That may be harder in London though!

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 20/10/2017 07:59

St Peter in the Forest also sounds quite high anglican.

Fffion · 20/10/2017 08:01

How can you not see any churches? There are thousands in London. They are this old buildings with spires or towers. They are everywhere.

DappledThings · 20/10/2017 08:01

The Ship of Fools website does a mystery worshipper where they visit lots of churches and rate them on various factors. You might find that useful.

C of E and Anglican are the same thing and both encompass a huge range of worship styles and beliefs from the low "happy-clappy" end to the high "smells and bells" of Anglo-Catholicism which as it's name suggests is closest to Roman Catholicism.

My church, for instance, is at the high end. We describe our Sunday morning serice as High Mass rather than as Holy Communion, we have stations of the cross, most people will cross themselves, we call the priests Father etc. Those are the sorts of clues on church websites that will help suss out what tradition it is.

Lexilooo · 20/10/2017 08:11

Just to clarify, you absolutely can turn up to church when there isn't a service just for quiet contemplation and prayer. During the day they will probably be open in a busy city but if not they should have details of opening times, services and how you can get access if they are closed.

Also you sound as though you are in a difficult place right now, your parish vicar will be very happy to talk to you and support you. This includes away from agreed service times. My vicar friend will visit people at home to pray with them as well as helping them to access services and support from the church.

If you pass a church look at the sign outside it should say what denomination it is. If you go to a service and find the style of worship doesn't suit speak to the vicar, they may have certain services that are more traditional or more Evangelical or aimed at children etc they may also be able to suggest another church nearby that would suit.

kuniloofdooksa · 20/10/2017 08:15

For a silent church to light a candle in, your tendency to be late for stuff is perfect.

If a church has mass at 11am the mass will be over at the church quiet and empty but still open once the service is over, so pretend to yourself that you are aiming to get there for mass. When you are too late you will be exactly on time to be able to enjoy a quiet church and light a candle.

If you aren't doing a job during office hours, St Barnabas has a specific slot for silent prayer with exposition of blessed sacrament from 11am on 1st Friday of month. (If the exposition bit would be valuable to you - I'm sure silent prayer without that bit would be readily available at other times)

You definitely need a high Anglican church like St Barnabas or St Michael &aa if lighting a candle is important to you. A lot of churches at the more protestant end of the spectrum won't have candles.

kaytee87 · 20/10/2017 08:23

Op as far as I understand, all Christians believe that Mary was a virgin as we have the same bible. Although I’m Christian and I believe the term virgin was a mistranslation from ‘unmarried’. I don’t take the bible literally though, I don’t actually know any Christians that do. On another note Muslims also believe Mary was a virgin but they believe a doppelgänger of Jesus was crucified and Jesus was ascended into heaven by God. Sorry, I’m a religion geek
I’m Church of Scotland but know a lot of people that went to catholic school and for some reason they were taught Protestants didnt believe Mary was a virgin or that Jesus was crucified, that’s just not true at all.

Anyway to answer your question, the high Church of England is very very similar to the Catholic Church. I also find church very peaceful and come out feeling somehow rested and ‘at one’ I know that sounds a bit woo

JustGettingStarted · 20/10/2017 08:27

If you want to stay in a church that has the exact same Eucharist as the Catholic Eucharist (literally the body and blood of Christ) and you can find an Orthodox church in your area, you might want to check it out. It won't be familiar to you, but it is theology the same. You won't be able to receive communion without converting, though.

HowcouldIpossiblyknow · 20/10/2017 08:27

Op Southwark cathedral is just opposite London Bridge station - on the other side of the bridge but the south of the river end. It is slightly set back which might be why you never noticed it.

It's beautiful (and afai remember you don't have to pay to get in - actually I think in all cathedrals you don't have to pay if you're going to a service or to pray, to be fair)

doubleshotespresso · 20/10/2017 15:10

Bobthefireman It is very Catholic, but I do get the huge space and peace I think you are seeking at Westminster Cathedral which is open all day.
Plenty of room for personal thoughts and prayers and candles aplenty.

Just occurred to me that could be an easy journey for you via the Victoria Line?
I really hope you get to find somewhere suitably peaceful and comfortable, I could have written your OP-I know I need something, but the familiar stuff just feels a bit wrong sometimes. I just want my own little oasis of calm to empty my head when I need to and focus better outside of that....
for you.

buffyp · 20/10/2017 15:19

I can completely understand your feelings towards the Catholic Church after what you have been through however please be aware that the Anglican Church including the C of E has also had serious issues with child abuse and cover ups, it’s just taken longer to come out. It’s also been hidden for so long because everyone has been focused on the Catholic abuse scandal

Fffion · 20/10/2017 15:24

Umm, no, buffy. It's not like that at all.

Rescuepuppydaft2 · 20/10/2017 15:25

As a Catholic, I have enjoyed going to the Baptist church which my friend attends. It is different and more bible focussed, however the atmosphere was lovely and it is so family friendly! There are also lots of groups, like bible studies for men and women and different youth groups. My little girl loves going to the Sunday school and the groups that are held during the different holidays.

I still feel at home in the Catholic church though. My dh prefers the Catholic church, although he dislikes the Baptist beliefs regarding not drinking alcohol.

I am so sorry that you have been abused so cruelly by men who should have offered protection and trust !
I advise praying about which church God would rather you attend!

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