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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what church I should be looking for?

112 replies

BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 03:28

I was reared Catholic but for countless reasons do not wish to have anything to do with that church.
Is there a similar teaching? I've heard Church of England, but I don't see any churches named that.

I would like to have a church to turn to, just not the one I was brought up in.

What is the nearest one to Catholicism? What is the name of churches I should look out for locally or indeed what should I google?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 20/10/2017 06:00

Transubstantiation. That’s the difference!

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/10/2017 06:02

X-posted!

You look after yourself @BobtheFireman

Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:04

The water into wine? And the body of Christ? Ye. Never quite got that bit either. On the other hand, there are things that we can't quite grasp, so I desperately try to quell my questions. Faith innit?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 20/10/2017 06:07

I wouldn’t know Grin

Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:12

I'm the same to be honest Terry Pratchett but I'm all out of places to go mentally. Might as well go loony and go to church lol. Can't do me much more harm haha. Something peaceful about a church.

OP posts:
sashh · 20/10/2017 06:18

ave a look at a couple of Anglican / C of E churches they vary. I was at a Christening with a friend and we had a debate because we didn't think the parents were RC but the church had stations of the Cross.

We checked the prayer book for the Lords Prayer, that was the only difference.

Hope you find your peace and place to be OP.

Pythonesque · 20/10/2017 06:20

Hope you find somewhere you can find peace. Sometimes just going into a church and siting can be incredibly helpful.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/10/2017 06:20

I think nice churches have the same feeling as the ocean or a wide view of nature. It's not about faith or God for me (obviously) but they are calming.

I'm off to bed. But if you need MH support there is a board here for that.

Night!

kuniloofdooksa · 20/10/2017 06:25

The church of england/Anglicans doesn't have a single doctrinal position on things like the virginity of Mary - that's left to the conscience of the individual and some people will have views indistinguishable from catholicism whereas others won't. It's a fundamental principle of the church that people can worship together without all believing the same thing.

There isn't so much individual confession to a priest (though some priests will be happy to hear you 1:1 if you feel the need. We all say a general confession during the preparation for eucharist, and receive general absolution.

There are some Anglican churches which are almost indistinguishable in their traditions from catholicism - and others that are very very different, so it might be a good idea to try out more than one.

Looks to me like St Barnabas would be quite a good place to start.

rizlett · 20/10/2017 06:25

Op - it might be of benefit to explore other religious too - for example the Quakers - to find what fits in best with you.

Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:27

Yes, a church is a very safe place. When I was young, they were always open. Nowadays they're not just a place you can randomly rock up to when you need some spiritual comfort. Doors firmly closed. I'm sure you could ask a priest/pastor whatever they're called for access. If you knew how to contact them.

OP posts:
Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:33

Is it just me or has storm Brian suddenly hit? Or the Lord himself bringing down his wrath on me?

OP posts:
user1499169579 · 20/10/2017 06:34

These are good people, in Walthamstow.
www.walthamstowchurch.org.uk/our-churches/st-lukes/

Although for a more high Anglican service perhaps st Mary's.

I go to st mary of eton in Hackney wick. All the smells, bells and rituals, excellent organist. Tiny congregation. new Vicar is female, kind hearted and compassionate with good sense of humour.

Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:36

I miss the comfort of going into church and lighting a candle and saying a prayer. I feel my life is all tumultuous now and I miss that calm space to go to. Just the silence in my head too while I just say a prayer.

OP posts:
Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:38

Thank you user1499169579. I will check it out tomorrow.

OP posts:
Skittlesss · 20/10/2017 06:39

Can you just go visit the ones near you to see if you like them? I'm not sure how it works, but I think that you'd be welcome.

Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:42

rizlet, I will google them, but my instinct (from random memories) is that they are quite strict which really would not suit me at all lol. Thank you for the suggestion. I will google.

OP posts:
AntiGrinch · 20/10/2017 06:45

Hi Bob, hope you are ok. Sorry that happened to you.
Without the abuse in my own life - I just can't stomach Catholic churches any more.
I have found that the approach of individual parishes to Anglicanism has a huge effect of the style of the church and the services and they are enormously different. I go to a church which does traditional music (I am in the choir and I love it) and has a big emphasis on children and young people. I think Anglicanism is so differently inflected in different ways that you may well find a place that feels right for you.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 20/10/2017 06:47

I am C of E (lapsed now) and I miss it , I miss the comfort and the routine

I like that CofE is a fairly gentle religion and the people are generally kind souls

I would get on a bike and go for a walk and you will easily see from the sign which Ines are Church of England

Then try a few every Sunday and see how you feel . IN E17 there will be a fair few around

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 20/10/2017 06:48

I know what you mean about candles ! I always do them too . Due to a bereavement I am church free and after a bad experience I am too scared to start again xx

Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 06:51

You see, a Catholic church is the most comforting to me. But I can not reconcile the evil that was in charge of that institution. It really upsets me actually. Apart from the crimes priests committed and nuns, well that's enough to sicken any human, but I actively want to go away from what I am drawn to if that makes any sense. Yet, I feel like I miss the peace of a church.
Oh I don't know. Talk about a crisis of faith and conscience. I have a crisis of whether I have a brain. I shouldn't need this.

OP posts:
HowcouldIpossiblyknow · 20/10/2017 06:51

To be fair I think the official c of e stance on the virginity of Mary would be very much a yes - not much room for fudge on that. Though what people going to c of e churches actually believe may of course be a quite different thing!
Op if you're looking for a c of e church closish to rc, then incense may be quite a good 'marker' for that. They sometimes say on the website if they do. And don't feel you have to quell the questioning!

BriechonCheese · 20/10/2017 07:00

I am so sorry for what happened to you.
I also understand your faith and need for a sense of familiarity in it. I was raised Catholic in Ireland and moved away from it for various reasons and often long for that sense of faith in a very specific way. I now work for a religious organisation (within CofE) who worship in a different way but will often take time out to attend a self identified Anglo-Catholic CofE church for that similar sense of peace.

I really recommend St Pancras Old Church or maybe St Paul's in Knightsbridge.
Actually St Mary The Virgin in Illford might not be too far from you - it is Church of England but includes sung mass etc. I have felt a sense of "being with God" (which I know differs for everyone) and at ease there.

Sometimes it takes a bit of shopping to find a church that you feel gels with you but I'm glad so many people have been able to point you in the direction of what you might be looking for.

I hope you find what works for you.

Original poster
BobtheFireman · 20/10/2017 07:02

I just want to go into a church where it's just empty and huge and quiet.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 20/10/2017 07:06

How about trying a Quaker meeting? Total opposite of Catholisism but might get the peace you are looking for and of course no vicars/ priests.

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