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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this isn't a thing a lot of people would do

92 replies

earlyrisingmum · 19/10/2017 19:57

It's my DM 50th tomorrow. Her and DF fly to Amsterdam. My plans at the weekend were to spend Saturday with Dsis so she could see my DS too.

I got a phone call from Dsis tonight asking if I could find out what hotel they are staying at. I said why and she was like oh me and DP have booked flights to Amsterdam and going to surprise them on the Saturday. We just need to know what hotel. She was like oh yea sorry I can't see you. She blamed her DP and said It was his idea and that he booked it and she thought he was joking when he mentioned it.

I feel upset because 1.) I've been left out by these two again. I could have gone too if I had notice they were doing this. 2.) I'm a single parent so not having plans at the weekend is lonely so I make sure to plan. It's been a very bad week and so seeing my D'S was needed. 3.) This isn't the first time I've been left out and I feel it's more my Dsis partner likes to push me out of plans. Them 4 and my Dsis partners dad goes out together a lot and I don't get an invite. It's like he's jealous and likes to be just the 4 of them and his dad.

I know when they come back I won't stop hearing how much fun it was. Is it normal for him to book to go to Amsterdam 1 day before my parents go on a whim. Or do you think this was preplanned? I just feel so sad that I can't be there for her 50th and the 4 of them will be together and I'm alone looking after my parents ill dog. I know this isn't my parents fault as they don't know this is what my Dsis is planning.

OP posts:
keepcalmandfuckon · 20/10/2017 05:34

*Beingsunny
*
Hi Dsis Grin

fullofhope03 · 20/10/2017 05:51

I haven't told her the hotel because I don't know it myself and I'm not asking DM. Well that's good.

I may just dig a bit and see what plans they have. No need to do that.

they are staying near the red light district and she said she wanted to see what it was about so it may be awkward them gatecrashing!

Yes it will! As others have said, people still have a sex life at 50 and beyond. I doubt very much if they'll appreciate their break away being gatecrashed. Why don't you suggest that you and your sis have a little party/meal out for your Mum and Dad when they get back?
FWIW, I know how you feel with the loneliness OP, it's horrible. Perhaps you could plan a day out with your DC this weekend? If money allows, there's a film out at the moment - 'Goodbye Christopher Robin' which sounds really sweet. Flowers xx

fullofhope03 · 20/10/2017 06:00

PS - And tell your sister not to hunt your poor M&D down when she and her partner get to Amsterdam. Just enjoy themselves ON THEIR OWN.
Do let us know how it goes though OP xx

beingsunny · 20/10/2017 06:27

@keepcalmandfuckon you frit the life out of me that one of my sisters may have discovered me Gin

Original poster
earlyrisingmum · 20/10/2017 14:15

I do think they will hunt my parents down. That's the type of people they are. I really want to tell my parents, I've dropped some hints to my DM. Saying oh I'll come gatecrash to gage her response. She just jokingly replied well your Dsis is already wanting to get in the suitcase and join so you can go in the other one. I actually don't think they will mind!!

We will see tomorrow when they turn up I guess!

OP posts:
Original poster
earlyrisingmum · 20/10/2017 19:07

Quick updated as I'm laughing to myself at what sis just text me. I kid you not, she just told me she's dressing up as a man as a disguise Grin I told her this was very strange!

My mum has sent lots of pics looks like she's having a great time! Bless her she really needed this trip away and I feel sis is going to spoil it

OP posts:
TitaniasCloset · 21/10/2017 00:53

She is dressed as a bloke? What on earth is wrong with your dsis? Will she go to any lengths for attention?

So what happened?

GetOutOfMYGarden · 21/10/2017 01:06

Your mum's going to Amsterdam. She'll be smoking a spliff, seeing a live sex show and enjoying time with your DF if she has any sense. Tell your DS to leave mum to it and sort out a surprise at home!

Original poster
earlyrisingmum · 21/10/2017 08:19

Not yet she isn't but she said she will today to be in disguise! I know it's all a bit odd and OTT.

My sis arrives today, not sure of the time yet. DM had a hash muffin last night with DF and I'm sure she wouldn't tell me about the sex shows (I wouldn't want to know anyway). But I feel like sis arrival will change everything. Poor DM

OP posts:
Original poster
earlyrisingmum · 21/10/2017 08:23

Also another thing sprung to mind. My sis doesn't have a job at the min- she was fired. Her partner has paid for it all but he is quite tight. My parents are quite generous and I'll be fuming if I've found out they have taken advantage and let my parents pay for meals/drinks. It's my mums 50th no way should my parents be paying for the two of them!

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 21/10/2017 08:31

Did your sister find out the name of the hotel?

LadyWire · 21/10/2017 08:35

Your sister sounds like I nut case!

Appuskidu · 21/10/2017 08:37

How will your sister know where to find them?!

astoundedgoat · 21/10/2017 08:42

Wait wait wait. Your sister is going to turn up in Amsterdam today and wander around a WHOLE CITY dressed as a man, hoping to bump into your parents? Does she think Amsterdam is about the size of Westfield or something?

TheCatsMother99 · 21/10/2017 08:45

This is hilarious!

Your sister soomds absolutely potty.

ButchyRestingFace · 21/10/2017 08:51

Is it possible your sister’s partner fancies your mum?

Goosegrass · 21/10/2017 08:53

I know somebody whose MIL is a very good cook, she surprised them on their 10 year wedding anniversary to cook them a romantic meal.....and stayed! Shock

pigeondujour · 21/10/2017 08:59

This is hilarious but I agree he fancies your mum. Why on earth would he agree to pay for himself and your sister to go and do this otherwise?!

DamnSummerCold · 21/10/2017 09:11

50
50
50
That’s no age
DP is over 50 and boasting aside we have a very healthy (filthy) sex life.

If we had planned a weekend away (which we do as he has to travel for work frequently so we can go weeks without spending any real time together) and any of the DNs turned up, (we don’t have DCs we spend a lot of time with DNs and have had 2 of them live with us for several years) turfed up I would go apeshit on their arses.

Your poor parents.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 21/10/2017 09:11

Your sister is a bit weird on this issue.... I really hope they don't bump into your mum!

JonSnowsWhore · 21/10/2017 09:15

She’s going to have to end up phoning them to find out where they are to meet them, I can’t see this going the wonderful ‘surpriiiiiiise!’ Way that she wants it to

GrimDamnFanjo · 21/10/2017 09:23

Please keep us updated OP !

Original poster
earlyrisingmum · 21/10/2017 09:24

I know it's actually crazy! I text my sister and she's there Now! I said so what you doing and her reply was we are at our hotel and we will sort a plan once we are sorted! She's obviously going to have to text my parents and ask where they Are!

Thing is if my parents don't act happy, my sister will go crazy! say how ungrateful they are, so that's why I think they will act happy to them. My DM may tell me a different story though.

I don't think he fancies my mum. I think it's more my dad he likes spending time with. He goes to events with my dad and he joins in with my dad's love of football. If he comes round to my parents he will leave my sis and play pool or something with my dad. I had an ex who was like this with my family. It's very odd!

OP posts:
Motoko · 21/10/2017 09:29

Oh, you've got to warn your mum. I love my children, but if I'd gone on a romantic weekend break with my husband, I'd be REALLY pissed off if one of them gatecrashed with their partner. And if they expected me to pay for meals etc for them, that would be like rubbing salt into the wound.

It sounds like your parents see your sis on a regular basis, so it's not even as if they hardly see each other.

It's really going to change the dynamic.

I told my husband about this thread last night, and he said his dad did the same thing, when his mum had gone up to Scotland to visit his sister. She was not happy about it at all! I bet she'd been looking forward to some nice mother/daughter time, shopping and going for lunches etc.

At least give your mum a warning.

sonjadog · 21/10/2017 09:32

If they don´t know which hotel they are in, they are fairly unlikely to find them. Amsterdam is a big enough place that you aren´t just going to run into someone walking around. I would leave just them to it.