To find this annoying and weird?

[LostInTheTunnelOfGoats]

I've noticed that a few of my friends/colleagues have partners who call them all the fucking time.

Went out with a colleague for lunch a few weeks ago- her DH rang her, she missed the call, she rang him back immediately, spent the next ten minutes talking to him. He rang twice more during our lunch. In the end she just went outside to talk to him. He works from home and she was going to see him again in less than an hour.

My friend is the same. Her husband is constantly ringing her. And it's usually absolute nonsense - not "please pick up milk", but "where are you, who is there, are you having fun, when are you home". He's honestly done this up to a dozen times when we've been on days out, and has started facetiming her too.

Then there are the women in the group I volunteer with. Every so often we have a group meeting and their phones are constantly buzzing and they are constantly nipping outside, and it's always their husbands, who apparently have been left at home on their own and can't seem to cope. All their children are secondary age so we aren't talking about leaving a baby to be EBF for the first time.

Once I went to training with one of them and her DH was just blowing up her phone "is there pizza in the fridge" type of thing. He also expected a blow by blow account of her travels - where are you now, are you on the motorway yet etc. She couldn't get over that I wasn't phoning my DH "to tell him where I was". I said I'd already told him that morning, and he knew I'd be back at X time.

I love my DH very much, and he is my favourite person to spend time with, but I just don't get this constant phoning. We may occasionally text each other if a school pick up plan has changed or we need loo roll, but we are adults and we don't need to be answerable to each other continually when we are apart.

I actually find it stressful at times, being around my friends whose partners do this - I can't have a conversation with them because it's constantly interrupted, I'm staying later at group meetings because we have to start all over again because someone has to nip out and explain to her DH for the sixth time that Jessica's gym tshirt is red not blue - it's no fun.

Aibu to find it deeply irritating? Honestly if DH was like this with me I'd feel claustrophobic.

But it's not just the people phoning though, is it? I mean I've always believed that if I am with someone else I may answer the phone but will cut the conversation very short. Obviously a lot of people think it is ok to leave their friends sitting there like oafs while they natter on on the phone.

Obviously a lot of people think it is ok to leave their friends sitting there like oafs while they natter on on the phone.

Unfortunately, this is a common thing these days.

Rude, rude, rude.

Yep, my friends husband does this......what pisses me off is she always answers his calls and has a (pointless) conversation even if she'll see him in a few minutes.
And then there's all the "Miss you sweetie". How can you bloody miss each other, you've only been apart 2 minutes!!! Also it's insulting as i wonder why she's with me if she misses him so much!!!

I have a work colleague who is constantly texting or whatsapping her husband....who works in the same building!

Yes, it is extremely rude. With my friend, I hadn't seen her in a while and I wanted her advice on something quite important. We were constantly being interrupted by her phone, and then I started to feel as though she was only half listening anyway, as she was waiting to hear it again.

It shows a complete lack of interest in the person you're with. I ended up just feeling crosser and crosser

My best mate's 2 kids do this. They're perfectly healthy 23 and 20 year olds. We only meet up once in a blue moon - neither of us go out much - and 2 seconds after us sitting down in the pub/restaurant and drawing breath ready for the big catch up her phone starts to buzz ... every bloody time.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

''Oh it's DD1/DD2 trying to face time me. I told her i was going out. I'll ignore it''.

Buzzzzz

''Oh it's DD again. Go away DD! I'll just ignore it''.

Buzzzzzzzzzzz

''Oh shhhhh DD. Hang on I'll just get this''.

Buzzzzzzzzzzz

''Oh, now it's the other one! Sorry ... I'll just ignore it''.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz

''Oh DD2 ..... shall i get it quickly?''

Mate! Just tell them to bugger off for the next couple of hours. They'll live!!!!!!!

Another one who the constant contact finds weird (and rude if it’s while you are out with others). Me and my OH sometimes call to say we have left work as it’s unpredictable / ask the other to pick something up on way back. the odd text if one of us is away for the weekend and maybe a phone call if one of is bored.

*who finds the constant contact weird

I agree with you & I don’t understand it either. I will text if there’s something important to say or wish him luck for an important meeting or appt but that is it!

I don’t get this either, I have a friend who is like this. She calls her husband constantly. But it’s like a two min phone call. Constant need to check up on him and he does the same but to a much lesser extent. I honestly think it’s a form of control.

My DH doesn't even put his phone ON half the time so if I started texting saying I'd just arrived somewhere, or was just leaving somewhere, he wouldn't read it anyway!

Doesn't doing that just heighten anxiety? Texts sometimes don't go through, surely you'd start worrying that you hadn't heard he'd arrived where he was going?

AFAIC, no news is good news. It's always been that way for us. I went 200 miles the other week and was with a GF having fun so didn't actually contact my DH till the following day! I call this normal, he knows I would contact him if there was a problem. I just find it a bit wet having to check in with each other every half an hour. You can still be an adult when you get married!

Years ago, before DH and I moved to where we are now, we went to a church home group, meeting in the home of a young couple with small children. The wife would answer the phone once every week when her mother or sister called and be on the phone for about 10 minutes, and then come back in.

Surely you would say to your DM or DSis, sorry could you not call on a this evening during the week? There were no health problems, she just chatted about general things. I could never understand that one.

That is absolutely nuts. I thought my DP was needy but he doesn't even text when I'm out for the day. These men sound controlling and extremely dependent.

I think it’s rude and it’s not just DPs.

A few years ago a friend came round one evening, she brought a bottle of wine and we were having a catch up when another of her friends phoned her. I was just sat there waiting for her to finish the call, 5 minutes, still chatting, after 10 minutes I went outside for a fag, came back, 20 minutes still chatting, I then got fed up, left her in the dining room went upstairs brushed my teeth turned the lights out in all the other rooms and went to bed

DP works long hours driving and we’ll chat when he’s doing that now and again, but if either of us have plans or are out with friends no, that’s not on. Maybe a text “can you pick up milk?” or something like that but only if something is needed.
The half listening thing is so rude. My friend did it to me recently, she’s met a new partner after me supporting her to leave her abusive ex, lots of support, midnight calls, all of it. My mum died at the same time and nothing from her. So one night she’d popped in and I was crying about Mum (it was only a week or so after she’d died) and she was busy giggling away on her phone not even listening. I told her she was being really fucking rude and it would be nice for her to listen to me for once, given the time I’d spent helping her while I had my own stuff going on. Her dad, who was in another room with DP tore a strip off her.

We only ring each other if one of us is going to be late, or occasionally to ask the other to pick up milk or something.

I think people chatting to their OH's while out with you is really rude.

Where DP works, it's been such a problem that management have had to ask staff to keep personal phone use to a minimum during working hours. DP's never had a problem with his team, they all work in the same office, and he just gives them one of his Paddington stares if they're overdoing it.

I didn't have a mobile when I started my working life but no one was allowed to have any personal items on them.
Your stuff went in your locker and you got it on breaks or when you left.

These days people just cannot seem to be away from their precious phones for 5 minutes. The younger they are the worse it seems to be. They are incapable of working for 2-3 hours without checking their phones.

Quite sad really.

Yanbu

Tho I do quite like a text/call/missed call to tell me he's alive at the end of the day (he's out on the road, country lanes, often on-call and can get home any time between 5-9) even better if it gives me a clue when to do our dinner for.

And he's been phoning virtually hourly since 3rd baby went overdue!? (Sweet but slightly unnecessary I think)

My very good friend has a family whatsapp group for her, her dh, ds, and dd (both adults).
Any time I spend with her is punctuated with constant pinging from her phone as they all message back and forth...."are you having a nice time" "say hi to auntie fabellini" "look what I'm having for dinner"..... it drives me nuts, and I never feel like I have her full attention.
I was at hers for dinner and a catch up last night, and her dd - who still lives at home, but was babysitting for the evening - whatsapped several times and phoned twice, dh whatsapped pic of his dinner (working away this week), she sent him a pic of ours, he phoned once - for a good five minutes.
I felt quite neglected by my family as dp only texted once, to ask if I needed a lift home!

I have a work colleague who is constantly texting or whatsapping her husband....who works in the same building!

They're talking about you. My wife and I do this when we're out for dinner together even, it's pretty fun

ofshoes that is something that would make me not want to go out to dinner with you and your wife EVER.

that is something that would make me not want to go out to dinner with you and your wife EVER.

Na, we discuss strangers foibles. Not usually the people we're with

didnthappeninmyday nice one

I think the whole thing is ludicrous and claustrophobic and could lead to controlling in some cases.

I'm wondering how long it will be before human beings lose the ability to speak and have mobile phones implanted at birth - and all communication conducted in text [shudders]

I'm wondering how long it will be before human beings lose the ability to speak and have mobile phones implanted at birth - and all communication conducted in text

Like telepathy essentially? That'd be AMAZING

I think it's definitely control or insecurity and yes it's really rude to boot.

If I'm out with someone like this I stop mid sentence every time they so much as glance at their phone and say don't worry, I'll wait until you're done. Drives them crackers! Or if they are constantly on the phone to their OH I'll just talk to them at the same time, loudly.