School contributions!

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I've had to name change because this will out me if people read my other threads but I am a long standing member I'm sorry in advance as this will be long...

My DD goes to a faith school, and they only receive 90% of the funding that other schools do. I'm a good member of the community and I do my best to help out where I can. In this community majority of families are in their mid to late thirties, well established and have good and well paying jobs or have had enough years to make themselves comfortable. Me and DH on the other hand are a very very small minority in that I suppose we were on the way to that but we fell pregnant when I was in my early 20s, it wasn't planned, we had very little saved but we're determined to soldier on. Now 5 years later we own our own house, I work a few hours around school whilst my DH works incredibly hard in a career that is extremely demanding but financially incredibly rewarding and I am so proud of what we have achieved together. Now this isn't to say that we are extremely comfortable by any means, we pay all our bills, have paid off a few credit cards that we accumulated over the years that at the time we would have drowned without and are FINALLY now able to start properly saving properly and have another baby on the way.

My DDs school is relentless in asking for money and I am absolutely sick of it, they had a wealthy contributor who made up majority of the money that they lose out on BUT due to their poor choices that many people including myself were very unhappy with they lost them and now we as parents are being asked to contribute the recommended amount of £85 a month. I don't have a spare £85 a month which they just don't seem to understand. I have had calls at 9:00pm to ask why we are not currently contributing and I have just received an email (that everyone has received) stating that they are dissappointed with the parents who are still not contributing anything. I said to DH I think maybe the answer is we should contribute like £20 a month or something like that but he in my opinion quite rightly stated that there were several school meetings before they lost the contributor where parents were raising worries with the changes they were making and they ignored it and actually my husband stood up at one of these meetings and said this. He also thinks that if we contribute a fraction we will just continue to receive more demands as it isn't the amount they want. I don't know what to do? I'm so scared people will find out we aren't contributing because majority do and actually actively are so rude about parents that aren't in front of me as they don't think I'm one of them and I admit I'm a complete coward but then I don't want people to know my financial situation.
AIBU?

Ok, I’m about to ask you a question that will sound judgemental and I DONT mean it to be.

If your religion is one where you’re supposed to tithe to your church community why don’t you give the tithe to the school instead of the church/synagogue?

Would your religious leader support that?

Laurie, do you really think in a counting the pennies situation OP can afford to give a tithe of their income to a religion or a school? Surely religions are more understanding than that in what they expect from people.

And OP, you have absolutely no reason to feel bad or feel you have to withdraw your child from a state school over this.

I’ve no idea whether she can afford to tithe or not

I’m wondering if she already does and can redirect the funds ?

By faith school do you mean a C of E / Catholic school? If so the diocese should be paying - church schools generally get more money.

Whereis the OP has said it isn't a church school.

Sorry, I've seen that now.

It sounds like this school is beginning to operate like a private school. Is it a Hindu or Jewish school by any chance? Most Islamic schools don’t just have a single wealthy donor so if it is, you might want to ask local business owners to donate as part of their charity duties.

Send child to normal school without brainwashing or money demands?

Although most religions are just there to make money so maybe it's good they learn this young?

@BoomBoomBoomBoooom - Could say this about all schools in the UK.

I would write in saying that there is no point relentlessly chasing you for donations. At this present moment you cannot afford to make any donation so you will be just as persistent in your refusal to donate.

Catkind- I know Muslims on very humble incomes still give their zakat.

No we currently do not donate money to any part of our religious community but I do volunteer my time where I can instead.

I think not offering to pay any when you want a school that's of a certain religion due to your beliefs is wrong. Basically you want other parents or sponsors to pay for your child's education.

If all parents were so selfish, how would they remain open?

@Funkinell

Thnaks for the link, if I'm reading it correctly it's only the capital costs that are funded at 90% so not true to say that the whole school is funded at 90%

I don't know what the split would be between capital and running costs but the running costs are going to be the vast proportion so actually the funding could be as high as 95% or more of the total costs.

The school is taking the piss, say they should get £5000 per pupil, even is capital costs are half of this (and they won't be) they are £250 short per pupil yet they are asking you for £85 per month

DC1 goes to a voluntary aided school, they're called "voluntary aided" because there are voluntary payments from the parents. Ours is about what yours costs, but A YEAR, not a month, that's loads!

That said, at the open day they did explain, that if you apply there, you are kind of signing up to it. But they encourage people to pay what they can. Some pay more and some pay less - which is outlined in the school prospectus.

We pay for the year up front, but there is the option to pay every half term if that's easier.

I am almost certain I know which faith this is. The voluntary contributions fund all the religious studies teaching plus the enhanced level of security needed. These schools make it absolutely clear from the start what the contribution is and in our school it's over £100 a month per child. We can afford this and we pay with pleasure. The school simply cannot offer the level of specialist religious teaching and security without it. Think about all the staff which secular schools don't have?

However, if you CAN'T afford the contribution then please go and talk to the school business manager or the finance trustee. They'll be well aware that there are families who can't pay and if you can afford to pay anything then they'll be delighted with whatever you can afford and you shouldn't be ashamed to discuss this with them.

The reason they make such a big deal about people not contributing is because there are so many people who can well afford to and simply won't and because of what the school offers, and because that's the core of the school and because it's funded on top of the secular studies. They want to reap the benefits of the specialist teaching that they signed up to but aren't prepared to fund it yet are quite happy to swan around in their range rovers and having their 3 5* holidays a year.

It's going to be very difficult for people who don't understand how these schools operate to appreciate the importance of the voluntary contributions for THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD TO PAY. We sign up to these schools because we believe in the ethos of the school and because we want our children to experience the enrichment of the religious curriculum and appreciate that it requires additional staff and resources to deliver this and we know that from day one and we are all well aware that we're expected to make that contribution which is at least 20% of the school day, we have a longer day to allow for it.

However, if you can't afford, as I said, please talk to them, explain and feel no guilt that you're unable to contribute the full amount.

bunerison why the extra security?

This thread is leaving me even more convinced that there is no place for religion in state education. If the churches want to offer religious instruction on the side on a pay as you can basis, they should do that. Not tag it on as a compulsory extra to what is supposed to be a free at the point of delivery state education and try to blackmail people into paying "because they signed up for it".

Sorry, churches or other religious organisations obviously.

I totally agree Catkind. There's also the point that, in a voluntary aided school, the faith body gets a much larger say in the ethos, and since this will certainly include encouragement of the particular belief. why shouldn't they pay for what is, in effect, promotion?

Incredibly these tactics also seem to be employed by the CofE and even the Catholic church, both of which enjoy the most colossal wealth already. What better place for that money to be spent than on the education of their young?

lonicera because unfortunately we live in a society where certain faiths are at high risk of terrorist attacks and schools of a particular faith will all have extremely secure security gates and systems and a number of full time security guards and this costs more than the government can contribute.

I'm fuming at the schools that shame he pupils, how bloody dare they. Its not under the child's control, what an evil thing to do.

Personally I'd rather pay a set amount per month than be hassled by a pta, but schools have to be realistic about family finances and accept that some people can't afford these payments. Equally, some parents with expensive lifestyles need to accept their child's education needs a level of financial contribution these days.

MrsFantastic the CAB may be able to signpost the OP on to help from elsewhere. Our CAB is very interested in financial coercion by organisations on people, which this sounds like (they're phoning the OP at 9pm?). This coercion could be affecting any number of parents and perhaps a local body stepping in could help.

bunerison you 100% are talking about the same school as me, I can tell. The issue that I mainly have is that every single other person I know that goes to a faith school is asked for contributions, yes, BUT a lot less. Even people on here have said they are asked for around £100 a year. I do not agree with a lot of the changes that have been made at this school but the same PTA and governors sitting there do not here anyone who isn't in their specific circle.