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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be happy it will soon be illegal to smack children?

402 replies

speakout · 19/10/2017 14:26

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-41678797

Brilliant news.

OP posts:
Original poster
speakout · 19/10/2017 17:39

I cared for my great aunt who had Alzheimers in the later stages of her life.
Often her behaviour was child like,

She would attempt to cross the road without looking and was often unreasonable.

Much like a child.

Perhaps the odd smack would have helped.

And far better to have the occassional smack at home than go into care eh?

OP posts:
Dustbunny1900 · 19/10/2017 17:41

Punishment like any other assault (although I think morally hitting a child is worse) on one hand.. but some education would do some good. Violence against children is so ingrained in our society, many parents don't think and just "do what was done to me" or actually think it's a good thing to beat their kids (in the case of my parents). Just like rape culture. It's normalized. People don't consider it abuse because of the cognitive dissonance of "it's just spanking, not hitting!" Some re education and social shift needs to happen so the kids can stay with their parents and not be hit.

Zebra31 · 19/10/2017 17:45

The social service systems needs sorting. Every government in my generation has failed to fund it properly. No one wants to see a child end up in the social care system. As far as I am concerned “responsible”parents would consider their actions before beating (smack) their children if they thought they would get jailed a criminal record. And if the thought of their children getting taken off them doesn’t stop them then the children should be taken off them for their own safety. It’s very black and white for me. Adults hitting children are adults assaulting children.

SenecaFalls · 19/10/2017 17:47

Wives and children do not a good comparison make for more reasons than I can be bothered to write (and most people know anyway, they just like the analogy to make a point).

I agree with you to some extent, but it is a valid comparison on the cultural sensitivity issue.

Also legal sanctions don't have to include jail. Doesn't Sweden have something like a civil citation/social services involvement for some violations?

Jellycatspyjamas · 19/10/2017 17:50

It may be covered under "common assault" tiggytape, the current defence in England and Wales is reasonable chastisement and in Scotland the defence is justifiable assault. The proposed legislation would, I assume, remove the "justifiable assault" defence - ridiculous that any assault on a child would be considered justifiable.

missiondecision · 19/10/2017 17:50

A smack is not the same as beating so whoever said that is frankly being dramatic.

Uokbing · 19/10/2017 17:53

Yes i agree that children and wives aren't really a good comparison.

If a man made his wife sit on a 'time out' step or a stool for a given amount of time because she had stepped out of line, and wouldn't let her get up until that time was up, that would be straight up abusive wouldn't it?

OlennasWimple · 19/10/2017 17:54

Good.

Now for the rest of the UK to follow

Zebra31 · 19/10/2017 17:54

I said it. As far as I am concerned a smack is the same as a beating. It’s physically assaulting a child. Beating, smacking, hitting it’s all the same. It’s assault.

Allthepinkunicorns · 19/10/2017 17:54

At last something is being done. I hate it when I see someone smacking their child there is no need for it. Nobody deserves to be smacked especially children. And for those that do smack children they should be ashamed of themselves. It makes me so angry when people justify smacking in my eyes its assault, you wouldn't get away with hitting an adult just because they disobeyed you so why should you get away with it when it's a child.

RebelRogue · 19/10/2017 17:56

@Uokbing or that she can have no telly/ipad.
Or that she has to eat what’s in front if her or nothing at all.
Or force her in the bath.
Or brush her teeth.
Or decide what she’s going to wear.
Or give her a curfew.

Ummmmgogo · 19/10/2017 18:02

this is one of those topics that people can never agree on. the anti smackers think smacking is barbaric. the smackers think that not disciplining your child is barbaric.

I think it should be down to the individual parent.

Original poster
speakout · 19/10/2017 18:05

this is one of those topics that people can never agree on.

Well thankfully we don't have to agree. When this bill is passed there will be no argument.

The smackers will just have to suck it up.

OP posts:
mtpaektu · 19/10/2017 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ummmmgogo · 19/10/2017 18:08

lol. yes I'm sure no-one will ever smack in Scotland again after this bill is passed!

Zebra31 · 19/10/2017 18:08

Agree with speakout and mtpaektu

coconuttella · 19/10/2017 18:12

The analogy between adults and children isn't perfect.... if a 2 year old refuses to leave a shop, I'm within my rights to use reasonable force to remove him by strapping him in a buggy.... If a husband did that to their wife it would clearly be abuse!

I have occasionally gently (and I stress gently) tapped my children in response to their physically aggression when they were little and tantruming. Am I an abuser who needs criminalising and my children taken into care?

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 18:14

Op you are allowing your emotions to get the better of you as you've missed the point. Support and help is what these kids needs with the family. To prosecute parents and put children into care where they are more likely to be abused. I'm not condoning smacking but throwing the book at the parent won't help the child. The child could end up with mh issues and in out of prison for most of their life until they get their teeth kicked in. He hasn't looked back since. True story

Toadinthehole · 19/10/2017 18:15

I'm in NZ, where smacking has been illegal for about a decade. In fact, the person behind the law change is a New Zealander. Prior to that, reasonable correction was a defence to a charge of common assault.

NZ has a dreadful record of family violence and of children being injured or worse by their parents or caregivers, and the truth is that there have only been a couple of prosecutions for smacking and I'm unaware of any evidence that the high rate of child abuse here has reduced.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 19/10/2017 18:16

The analogy between adults and children isn't perfect

I agree. How about we just make it about children? Is it ok for children to snack their friends?

Am I an abuser
Possibly

who needs criminalising and my children taken into care?

Depends how often and how hard. At the lowest level this law sends out an important message that hitting your child is never acceptable. (And it is hitting, no matter how much people prefer euphemisms like 'tap' or 'smack'.

Plenty of people bring up really nice children without hitting them.

coconuttella · 19/10/2017 18:16

As far as I am concerned a smack is the same as a beating

A smack may be a beating or it may be a gentle tap. A gentle tap isn't a beating though! Perhaps the term needs better definition.

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 18:18

Only in Scotland op not yet in England. It will be interesting to see how it goes. Tbh all I think it will bring is more powers to social services rather than a prison sentence

RebelRogue · 19/10/2017 18:19

I asked DD if i ever smacked her. She said no. I obviously damaged her for life.

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 18:20

I don't think it will change much apart from keeping it from others seeing it.

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 18:20

I don't think it will change much apart from keeping it from others seeing it.

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