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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trivial one... AIBU not to share my notes/flashcards?

138 replies

Pineappleundersea · 19/10/2017 11:30

I’ve gone back to university in my late 20’s. As part of my studying/revision process, I make flashcards on a website, but I make them private.

One of the students on my course has asked me multiple times to make them publically available. I don’t want to. He’s said I can look at his (but I don’t want to). I feel like I’m being a bit of an arsehole.

I suppose my reasoning is: I put all the work in, why should someone access it for free?

My friend said that it’s irrational not to share them, as I’ve already made them so I don’t really lose out by sharing. But I feel like someone’s benefitting from my effort and I get nothing in return.

OP posts:
Assburgers · 19/10/2017 12:52

True yetanother. I hadn’t thought of that.

Original poster
Pineappleundersea · 19/10/2017 12:52

Evelyn He saw me making them in the lecture, they’re not visible to people. He just looked at my computer.

OP posts:
Inktober · 19/10/2017 12:53

@thewheelsonthebuz

No. There's no competition.

OnTheRise · 19/10/2017 12:53

Making the flashcards is part of the learning process. Putting all the information down like that helps reinforce it in your mind. It's a recognised learning technique. So sharing them now isn't going to help anyone pass their tests or know the work better: they need to make their own flashcards, if they find them useful. Otherwise they won't really benefit from them as fully as they could.

You're right to refuse to share them with this person. Next time he says anything remind him that he still owes you the money he borrowed for lunch, and ask him when he's planning to pay that back.

Original poster
Pineappleundersea · 19/10/2017 12:54

Thewheels there is competition, as mentioned upthread..

OP posts:
yoyoyoyoyo · 19/10/2017 12:54

@Pineappleundersea

Is this a special program or App for making them? Or are you just using word?
If it is a specialised one, please could you pm me the details if you dont want to put it here!
Thanks

Original poster
Pineappleundersea · 19/10/2017 12:55

yoyo It’s Brainscape. If you buy the premium version, all your stuff is private/hidden, but by default it’s visible to other users.

OP posts:
Assburgers · 19/10/2017 12:56

Yeah just PM yoyoyo if you don’t want to share Grin

thewheelsonthebuz · 19/10/2017 12:57

Of course there is, @Inktober

Or do you not understand how universities work?

Astella22 · 19/10/2017 12:58

I think its a bit mean especially if it wont effect your own grade. Not everyone learns at the same pace so these might really help him. Asking for help doesn't make him lazy. I see nothing wrong with it. Hope you don't need his help in the future!

rachrach2 · 19/10/2017 12:59

Of course you don’t have to and seeing as you don’t like him I can see why you don’t want to share.

My friends and I shared frequently at uni, but was mainly reciprocal. However one friend (who worked harder than me and was much cleverer) spent ages helping me with economics and basically teaching me whole module as I didn’t understand the teacher. I did really well in that module thanks to him and I had nothing to offer him except my gratitude. But we were friends, I doubt he’d have done it for someone he didn’t like.

thewheelsonthebuz · 19/10/2017 12:59

And indeed have you not seen the OP’s post explains how exactly the competition works, @Inktober?

Some people 😜

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 19/10/2017 12:59

The fact that you don't like him as a person seals the deal really. I'd be willing to share with a friend to help them but with him asking for money he sounds like an all round cheeky fucker.

I would have thought most topics within your degree would have a revision guide online he can access. Lots of students do put their study notes in the public domain via the internet.

RideOn · 19/10/2017 12:59

I disagree with your reasons not to share but support your decision if you don't want to!

I also think it is nice to be nice and everyone learning and progressing is good. If they are not directly competing with you, I can't see harm in giving them the notes.

However I wouldn't particularly want to make them public, because I would have written them for my own benefit, citing things that would prompt me and they would look clumsy or incomplete to someone else. Also as pp said the value is mainly in making them - reading through them just goes over what you have read. It just won't help him so much. I'd cut the bits I knew.

If he has his own, he may just want to see the way you make notes, the depth of detail, the things you think are key. Whether you are putting in a lot of dates, numbers etc

RebeccatheOld · 19/10/2017 13:02

Tell him to make his own, part of the revision process is in actually making them.

LagunaBubbles · 19/10/2017 13:03

But you'd rather focus on the hat aspect? Same as that "Dad" person. Stop focusing in on ONE element and trying to belittle me. I mentioned the previous thread about men coming on here and belittling women for fun. Looks like the OP of that thread was right

Oh FFS Ive seen it all now MRS ...anyone who disagrees with you is obviously a man with an agenda to belittle women, what a load of bullshit.

PompholyxOfUnknownOrigin · 19/10/2017 13:05

Mature student here. Don't share your hard work. It will be a good lesson for him to learn that he needs to put in the graft himself. And take note of the lecturer above who explained that you are putting yourself at risk of being accused of plagiarism.

sherbetpips · 19/10/2017 13:06

Dont share. I hate hate hate hated 'group' work. I did all the work, I did all the presenting and the two numpties who neither inputted or spoke got the same shared grade.

MrsOverTheRoad · 19/10/2017 13:11

Ceto you misunderstand.

This was NOT a performance in that there was an audience. It was something only the lecturer saw. We rehearsed and then performed it...and were assessed on our INDIVIDUAL performances.

It wasn't "a production" in the sense that the thing had to be a team effort. The other girl and I shared a part...she did half and I did half.

SandyDenny · 19/10/2017 13:11

No way should you feel obliged to share, why should anyone else expect to benefit from your hard work?

Tell him he can make his own cards, cheeky bugger.

blanklook · 19/10/2017 13:15

Ivor's advice is spot on . "If you allow sight of your notes and both you and the person you've shared with use the exact same language in an assignment this will be highlighted by Turnitin, or whatever programme your institution uses, and you could both find yourselves accused of plagiarism. Also, you should never feel pressured by any of your colleagues to participate in something that you don't want to participate in. Say no clearly"

And anyway the CF student won't learn anything without making his own flashcards, so you're doing him a favour by keeping yours to yourself.

leghoul · 19/10/2017 13:20

I met a lot of students who wouldn't share things at medical school. I thought they were largely nasty, competitive people who would like to ensure the pass mark was as low as possible by making it harder for others to learn than necessary, even when others were in difficult situations. Things like not sharing notes, like refusing to give someone the lecture slides when their child was ill so she couldn't be there and so on. It depends on your course but I came away thinking what a bunch of arseholes and vowing to treat it as a process not a mad competition every day. Of course they got all the prizes but actually if you're not threatened by someone else and if you realise that the main part of the learning is THE MAKING of the flashcards or whatever (after all, there are plenty of ready made resources out there that don't just leap into your head) then it doesn't make a huge deal of sense to keep them to yourself.

leghoul · 19/10/2017 13:22

BUT if there is no legitimate reason why they might be having a hard time or struggling to do their own or whatever (maybe you could share a few to get them started on how to make them?) - I mean, if they're just preferring to sit in their pants playing playstation and eating pizza all day, I can see it would be an affront to all the work you'd put in and I'd have a different take on it. But if they are a friend who is genuinely in need of help, don't be mean.

Sprinklestar · 19/10/2017 13:26

He's lazy. Thinks your notes will be a quick fix. I've never forgotten when I was at uni and a course mate rang me at home at Xmas, asking me to post her my notes for a module she'd failed. She'd failed cos she didn't attend any of the lectures! Unluckily for her, she left a message on the answer machine and my DM heard and told me how twisted the whole thing was. There's a difference between helping and being a mug.

sonjadog · 19/10/2017 13:27

I only share with people who give me something back. So if he wants to share, what is he offering you? I'd want more than some vague promise, I would want something definite that he can give you here and now. If he has nothing, then he gets nothing.

I have someone like this at work. Sharing only seems to happen in one direction. No big deal at the start, but over time it gets really annoying. So now he gets nothing from me.