Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trivial one... AIBU not to share my notes/flashcards?

138 replies

Pineappleundersea · 19/10/2017 11:30

I’ve gone back to university in my late 20’s. As part of my studying/revision process, I make flashcards on a website, but I make them private.

One of the students on my course has asked me multiple times to make them publically available. I don’t want to. He’s said I can look at his (but I don’t want to). I feel like I’m being a bit of an arsehole.

I suppose my reasoning is: I put all the work in, why should someone access it for free?

My friend said that it’s irrational not to share them, as I’ve already made them so I don’t really lose out by sharing. But I feel like someone’s benefitting from my effort and I get nothing in return.

OP posts:
whiskyowl · 19/10/2017 12:28

I think it needs to be an equal exchange!

One of the best groups of students I ever taught arranged themselves (spontaneously, without prompting) into groups, each of which took a topic and provided notes for the rest of the group, including links out to a number of key papers on the topic, which they helpfully summarised for one another. They all did exceptionally well in the exam. It worked because there was peer pressure for each group to do a terrific job.

MrsOverTheRoad · 19/10/2017 12:29

DJ The hat anecdote was PART of a wider story. I also mentioned that we supported one another regarding character research and script work.

But you'd rather focus on the hat aspect? Same as that "Dad" person.

Stop focusing in on ONE element and trying to belittle me.

I mentioned the previous thread about men coming on here and belittling women for fun.

Looks like the OP of that thread was right.

yetanotherusernameAgain · 19/10/2017 12:30

MrsOverTheRoad: AtHomeDad's post was only 9 minutes after yours. Do you really think he went rifling through your previous posts on the off-chance he could find a personal piece of information about you that he could obliquely include in his next post? In less than 9 minutes? Pretty impressive if he did.

DingleBerries · 19/10/2017 12:31

OP I had something similar.

In my degree we always help each other out, it’s the nature of the degree and we are encouraged to do so.

However we had a really complex 2 hour lecture a few weeks ago and we struggled to get out head round it but we got there.

One of the students was on holiday and whatsapped our cohort to ask what the lecture entailed.

First off, there’s no way we could fit a 2 hour lecture in a WhatsApp message but second of all, we were in a lecture hall scratching our heads for 2 hours whilst she was sunning herself on a Greek island so why should we have to waste two hours trying to explain it to her?

Now if she went to the lecture and didn’t understand it, I would happily spend time with her going through it, without a second thought.
But otherwise, no.

If that makes me a bastard, I’m ok with that.

And I second that taking off a hat and putting it on another’s head is absolutely not the same thing.

JacquesHammer · 19/10/2017 12:31

we had someone on our course exactly like the OP wouldn't share notes even when someone was off sick, so word got around and NO ONE would share with her at all she started to moan that she had to extra work because no one would share notes with her....

God how unkind. I don't do favours to receive favours. I would have given the poor sod my notes without question.

MrsOverTheRoad · 19/10/2017 12:31

yetanotheruser Oh I've seen people do JUST that. It's not hard.

I can glean some information about someone within a minute or two. I type fast...so I could easily do it in 9 minutes!

Assburgers · 19/10/2017 12:33

I think Mrsovertheroad is probably right as it would be a weird example to give otherwise.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/10/2017 12:35

One of the students was on holiday and whatsapped our cohort to ask what the lecture entailed

Oh goodness me. Why didn't she simply bribe someone before with the offer of something good from the duty-free or whatever?

In these cases helping someone can actually help you btw. There is no learning like teaching it to someone else!

DingleBerries · 19/10/2017 12:36

Mrs you’re right it isn’t about the hat.
It’s the fact that you were supposed to work as a team all along. It was absolutely clear that was expected of you.

However this wasn’t a group assigment for the OP, as it was for you.

This is individual work.

MrsOverTheRoad · 19/10/2017 12:38

Dingle what we did was individual. Yes we performed together but were assessed on our own performance and not as a whole.

MrsOverTheRoad · 19/10/2017 12:39

Thank you Ass my instinct for these things is pretty good. I've been on MN a long time.

Most people would say "Someone self employed...such as a tradesman"

Not pluck "copywriter" out of mid air...slyly trying to get to me. Freak me out...whatever.

MammaTJ · 19/10/2017 12:40

YANBU but, I will never forget the kindness of a friend when I was at uni. I was severely depressed, struggling in so many ways and had a cry on her shoulder. She offered to send me her flash card notes, and duly did. I passed the exam they were for with a good pass mark, and that was purely because of those notes. I didn't ask though, and never would have done.

DingleBerries · 19/10/2017 12:41

But you couldn’t have performed separately?

You had to perform together, yes?

Or did you have the option of performing separately with separate scripts?
If not, then you were indeed in it together. You had to share. That was the point. Regardless as to whether you were being assessed separately.

As the lecturer above said, she shouldn’t share and it puts her at risk of being pulled up for plagerism.

MrsOverTheRoad · 19/10/2017 12:43

Dingle you're nit picking. We performed...as actors DO...all together. But each performer was assessed alone.

SheSparkles · 19/10/2017 12:43

He obviously didn't receive the memo about not being spoon fed information at university like you are at school

DingleBerries · 19/10/2017 12:43

MummaTJ

I was recently very depressed after losing a baby and someone kindly helped me with my essay, sending me notes and ideas. I was ridiculously grateful.

However I wouldn’t have asked for the guidance had I been sunning myself on a beach or just wanted to look at someone’s flash cards...

These examples people are giving just don’t translate to the situation that the OP is in....

Original poster
Pineappleundersea · 19/10/2017 12:44

Ironically, I suffer from major depressive disorder myself!

OP posts:
DingleBerries · 19/10/2017 12:45

I’m not nit picking I’m explaining how your example absolutely doesn’t translate to the OP’s.

YOU were unable to do the work alone. You HAD to include the other person.

The OP’s assessment is 100% her own hard work, and as I said a lecturer has posted and advised against sharing. She’s at risk of looks as though she plagerised

I’m not nit picking. I’m explaining something to you because you don’t seem to understand.

yetanotherusernameAgain · 19/10/2017 12:45

Ass and Mrs: apart from the fact that a copywriter actually writes stuff and is therefore a more suitable comparison with OP's situation of sharing written material.

But I'm just a greater believer in coincidences than conspiracies.

Jaxhog · 19/10/2017 12:46

Isn't it funny how the people who most advocate sharing are never those being asked to share!

Sharing should be a free choice not an obligation.

Evelynismyspyname · 19/10/2017 12:48

Pineapple why do you make the flashcards somewhere other people have access to, so that they can see them but not open them?

I don't think you are in any way obliged to share in this context, but am curious about why you've used what sounds like a group platform for private revision. Generally putting things onto a shared platform is done in order to share. Would it be more difficult to do your personal, private revision somewhere other than the group platform?

Inktober · 19/10/2017 12:48

I think you're being mean.

Of course you don't have to share but it's nice to be nice.

thewheelsonthebuz · 19/10/2017 12:50

The reason OP “shouldn’t help out,” @MrsOverTheRoad, is because this CF is her direct competition for good grades and references etc.

Assburgers · 19/10/2017 12:50

Jaxhog dunno where you get that idea from? I advocate sharing. And I share. Everything I work on, I then share how I did it online. I still earn a living.

Ceto · 19/10/2017 12:51

MrsOver, it's pretty obvious that when you're doing a drama production it's in each participant's interests for everyone else to do a decent job, even if they are being assessed individually. If you're acting opposite someone who doesn't know their lines or stands there like a piece of wood, it's much more difficult to put in a good performance yourself; conversely, acting against a good actor lifts your own performance.

It just isn't comparable to OP's situation. Sharing needs to be a mutual process; plus, as people have rightly pointed out, it's not even in the other student's interests to use her flashcards, you learn much more by producing these things for yourself and designing them so that they fit best with what works for you.