Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To uninvite someone from baby shower

32 replies

itsallbeige · 18/10/2017 18:08

Here’s the back story. She is my manager and was one of my best friends. We was really close would see each other at work everyday and then spend an evening in the week together or at the weekend spend the day together whilst my DS and her DD played together. Anyway, we both come off contraception at the same time. I got pregnant first month (6 months ago) she’s still trying as far as know. Ever since i told her I was pregnant (twins) she has been nothing but horrible. She told me I’d probably end up on my own because me and partner went through a little rough patch when we first met and I’d be left on my own to raise the babies. She then text a mutual friend of ours saying it’s not even one baby it’s f two. I do understand how hard it must be because it took me a long time to conceive DS. I reviled that I would having two girls in the office at work and she just walked out an sat in a different office. Not once has she said congratulations. I had reduced movement and went to the hospital. As she’s my manager I had to text her to let her know what was going on and she said ‘oh so they’ve found IT, good stuff’. My baby shower is Sunday and I invited her not wanting to leave anyone out but now it’s getting closer I think it will be just awkward for the both of us. Sad thing is I really miss her and our friendship. I really want to enjoy this special day and this will probably be my last pregnancy.

OP posts:
florenceandthefig · 18/10/2017 18:14

It sounds like she won't show to be honest

I wouldn't uninvite her because if she comes and is rude then she's only showing herself up.

LexieLulu · 18/10/2017 18:14

I think you need to do the mature thing and speak to her before it happens. Maybe send an email if face to face talking isn't for you?

Explain how you miss her and you realise this must be rubbish for her. But explain it wasn't a race and you're not the winner. Say you've been upset by some of her comments (quote a few so she can't brush it off) and see what she responds.

windowOnTheThird · 18/10/2017 18:18

Surely you should be concentrating on your 17th birthday party more than the baby shower?

UnicornSparkles1 · 18/10/2017 18:20

Ha window, that made me snort

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/10/2017 18:32

She's not once said "congratulations".
She doesn't have to say congratulations. Its not mandatory to jump up and down and do a Merry dance over someone's pregnancy.
She's obviously extremely hurt

JimLahey · 18/10/2017 18:37

It's sad she may or may not be struggling at the moment but it's really not the op's fault. Considering they were good friends it's expected it's going to sting a little. How does that make the OP childish

LagunaBubbles · 18/10/2017 18:39

Surely you should be concentrating on your 17th birthday party more than the baby shower?

Eh? Confused

Bananalanacake · 18/10/2017 18:43

Don't uninvite her. Just hope she won't turn up. Congratulations on your twins.

Anecdoche · 18/10/2017 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 18/10/2017 18:45

Why did you say that, Window?

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 18/10/2017 18:47

I don't get the 17th birthday thing

NancyDonahue · 18/10/2017 18:47

Difficult one. She's obviously hurting deeply.

However, she's your manager at work so needs to be professional - the reply to your message obviously wasn't. It's not right if she's making you feel uncomfortable at work. You may need to speak with someone senior.

I wouldn't 'uninvite' her. I really don't think she'll turn up.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 18/10/2017 18:48

Window?

Yvetteballs · 18/10/2017 18:48

If she's your boss, you won't want to rock the boat. Keep the invite open but don't stress if she doesn't turn up.

NoKidsTwoCats · 18/10/2017 18:49

Sorry things have gone a bit rubbish with your friend. It sounds like she's really hurting and jealous - not that that makes her behaviour acceptable and it must be hurtful. Are you sure you haven't rubbed her face in it? Sorry if that seems harsh but if you're excited could you have upset her by talking about it lots.

Either way, I don't think you can invite her. You'll come off as the bad guy. I reckon she won't show anyway.

dustarr73 · 18/10/2017 18:50

What's with the snarky 17th birthday remark.

Op leave the invitation standing, she might be a no show.But I'd just class her as your manager and not your friend.

Fitzsimmons · 18/10/2017 18:51

Can't believe some of the comments on here. It took me a long time to get pregnant with DS, during which three of my closest friends became pregnant. Every time one announced their news it stung like hell, but every time I cheered for them, and was excited for them.

Your friend has been awful to you, but as she's your manager it could be very difficult if you uninvite her. However she will also probably be on her best behaviour around others. Can you ask someone else to run interference, I.e. Keep her distracted?

notquitegrownup2 · 18/10/2017 18:52

Yy to Lexielulus email.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 18/10/2017 19:00

Window is the manager ?? !!!

KitKat1985 · 18/10/2017 19:00

I'm confused by the17th birthday comment. Can someone explain?

Myheartbelongsto · 18/10/2017 19:02

Is your manager window I wonder.....

Fucking hell op she is being a first class bitch!

I'd probably just hope that she won't turn up and I hope she doesn't so you have a great day.

TequilaLemonSalt · 18/10/2017 19:03

👀

NoKidsTwoCats · 18/10/2017 19:05

KitKat1985 it took me a while but I think they're implying op is childish. Pretty harsh.

Alwayswaiting · 18/10/2017 19:06

Yes I think window is insinuating this is childish behaviour

moaningmummyoftwo · 18/10/2017 19:10

I wouldn't uninvited, sounds like she probably wont show anyway.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread