Aibu to think that no gender is perfect

[Yourownworstenemy]

I genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable here.

I feel like there is so much stuff around at the minute hating on men (even before the weinstien thing) I feel like it's almost becoming ALL women against ALL men.

Do not get me wrong I fully agree we should all (men and women) stand with victims and fight for justice and punishment for the perpetrators.

But I just feel a bit like certain groups are using recent events to 'prove' all men are abusers, it's almost become all women are victims and all men are abusers, i agree the men (and women) who have committed crimes should be punished but there are many men in the world that aren't abusers, and there are many women in the world that are, and I feel like we are becoming a bit blind to that in recent years.

In real life I daren't voice this though because I'm not always the most articulate person and I feel It might seem like I am defending people like Weinstein which obviously I am definitely not doing!

[WickedLazy]

I think there are still "good guys" out there, but that men are becoming more sexist and misogynistic generally.

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

wicked

Yeah ive got a good one..

Has social media got something to do with it do you think

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

I am interested in the normal feminist and rad feminist thing

So do all feminists not have a normal view of the world or is it just radical ones

[hooochycoo]

I understand the point of the Notallmen thing, but find the way people crow it very rude and agressive, and not atall the way to go about educating people who haven't encountered this line of thought before and are simply misunderstanding and expressing good sentiments,

[WickedLazy]

I'm not sure if social media is making it worse, or just exposing how a lot of men really feel.

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

wicked

I stupidly looked at the comments on a daily mail #metoo thing (at least i think it was that)

Well that was a dumb move...honestly depressing

[AssassinatedBeauty]

All people, which includes all men, need to address this issue. If, as a man, you don't think it's a problem and you don't think you need to actively address it then you are part of the problem. In addition, there are still vastly more men than women in positions of power, authority, wealth, influence, etc which means men really do need to get involved and step up.

@Yourownworstenemy is there any chance you could link to the thing on social media that you saw which you didn't like?

[OpalIridescence]

I find this bizarre. Like it is being deliberately misunderstood.

It is like reacting to a challenge on racism by bleating that not all white people are nasty though. If you can't prove that every single white person that ever existed is personally bigoted should the discussion be shut down because not everyone is guilty?

It makes the discussion about the feelings of the oppressor group, not about the truths of the oppressed. Which, of course, continues the cycle nicely.

[Yourownworstenemy]

@Hoochycoo you find the way people spout not all men rude and aggressive? Have you read this thread?!

[Yourownworstenemy]

@Hoochycoo you find the way people spout not all men rude and aggressive? Have you read this thread?!

[AdalindSchade]

Just because I share a sex with someone, does not mean I am responsible for their actions, and not wanting to be blamed for their actions does not make me a sypathiser, I can condemn what someone does without having to share the blame for it

I see - you're a bloke and you're on the defensive. How about shut up and listen to women?

[AdalindSchade]

It is like reacting to a challenge on racism by bleating that not all white people are nasty though

Yeah the op is a man hence the defensiveness. Not that all men are defensive about this tbf

[Yourownworstenemy]

@Assasinatedbeauty yes this is my point, it should be all people against all perpetrators, not all people against men, which in some cases I have seen it, nd people have even said on this thread, I'm sorry if it offends people but I absolutely do not subscribe to the concept that it's just collateral damage if all men are blamed for something some men have done and they should all just suck it up!

Do you not see the irony there?

[AdalindSchade]

Oh shut up really

[Yourownworstenemy]

@adalind no I'm a woman actually, I was speaking generally, as a woman I shouldn't be blamed for things that other women do and vicer versa

[AdalindSchade]

No you're not
Don't be disingenuous

[Yourownworstenemy]

Adalind I think I know what sex I am! If all you can do is tell people yo shut up and call them liars then please piss off my thread. Thank you

[ButchyRestingFace]

I shouldn't be blamed for things that other women do and vicer versa

[AssassinatedBeauty]

There's no irony there. I'm not blaming men, I'm asking them, all of them, to help fix the problem. That's not accusing them, blaming them or whatever. Just asking all men, as members of humanity, to help sort out an ongoing massive problem for the other half of humanity. If men take that as criticism or an accusation then they really haven't grasped the issue.

I have a lovely dad, brother, partner and lots of lovely male friends/wider family. None of them would feel aggrieved by this or by being asked to step up their efforts.

[Yourownworstenemy]

@assasinatedbeauty yes, that's my point! It should be human kind against it not women against men! That's all I'm trying to say! So we agree! This is exasperating!

[AssassinatedBeauty]

That's because you've mentioned a mystery social media post that you won't elaborate on that you say refers to women against all men. I don't think anyone worth listening to seriously suggests that all women should pit themselves against all men. You're tilting at windmills.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Look, I’m going to say it - in a world where just about every woman on the planet has experience sexual harassment, sexual assaults or rape, the burden of responsibility to change things should mainly be on men. Including ‘other men’ who don’t do the abusing.

Unsurprisingly OP you’re a bloke, so you won’t understand I when I say that, after a while, the harassment and abuse - which starts late childhood/early teens and never stops after that - is so fucking relentless it’s exhausting. Day after day of comments, suggestions, making us uncomfortable, and even when it’s non-sexual we’re still being interrupted, belittled, discriminated against and made to feel inferior - quite often by men les intelligent than we are. You try and tell people who you believe can help, and fuck all gets done. Sometimes you come out of it worse off for trying to make things better. It never ends.

So if you see men behaving badly to others, you’re so downtrodden at the lack of anything happening ever, or being penalised for fighting back, it sometimes doesn’t feel like it’s worth the effort or courage. Or, you just don’t have it in you to fight yet another battle. And you risk being damaged because of it.

Men, on the other hand, if they see men behaving badly, could simply tell someone. Maybe even the perpetrator. No damage done. In fact you’d be the hero. Men are more likely to listen to men anyway. A man who sexually harassed women certainly isn’t going to start respecting them any time soon. It’s easier for men, so if you are a half decent person, you’d call your peers out on their bad behaviour rather than moan that you’re the real victim in all this.

[Yourownworstenemy]

@cherrychasing as previously stated I am not a man. And as a woman who has experience things that many other women have, I find it appalling that these things are happening and I have nothing but sympathy and solidarity with victims, but I'm sorry, I just simply cannot get my head around that being the burden on all men, an innocent man is as innocent as an innocent woman, just because he has a Willy not a vagina he should be more accountable?

I am honestly not trying to be goady, I simply cannot understand that

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Well, I explained it all in my post.

I also believe that ‘innocent’ white people need to play their part in stamping out racism, that POC shouldn’t have to do all the work.

You say it should be about humanity against bad people. Come back and talk when the sexes and races are equal, you might have a point then

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

I also don’t think you realise that stamping out toxic masculinity will greatly benefit the ‘good’ men as well. Putting an end to the suffering of women will ultimately benefit all men (except the ones who keep abusing us of course but I don’t give a shit about them)