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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Breaking up with lazy bastard boyfriend

85 replies

FatArseChair · 17/10/2017 14:08

Hes 30 and still lives at home with his mum (who does everything for him). He comes to visit me every weekend. Friday night he turns up early and tell him I'm on my way out. He asks where even though he knows full well I go to karate on a Friday night. He said he'd come and watch. He then spends the 2 hours sat taking the piss. Instructor (reputation for being an absolute fucking maniac when riled) asks him what his problem is. DP says he thinks it's funny watching me fight. Instructor tells him never to under estimate a woman and suggests he take his shoes off and fights someone in the class if it's all so funny. DP refuses and says he wouldn't want to hurt anyone. Instructor laughs in his face. DP goes quiet then afterwards tells me instructor is a bell end and I should stop going. I tell him I wasn't entertaining that idea but told him he was a bastard for embarrassing me like that in front of my fellow club members. He says it over reacting. On the night instructor sends me a message saying he hoped I wasn't embarrassed by what had happened. He then adds "just thinking, you told me you wanted to lose weight, I can think of an excellent way you could lose 15 stone over night".

Anyway. Onwards to Saturday morning DP is still in bed snoring at 9am so I go off and do park run. Get home and he'd still in bed so I go swimming. 11.30 come home and he's still in bed but playing on his phone. He says "where have you been?? I haven't even had a coffee or any breakfast". I lose my shit and say "get off your fat fucking arse and make yourself some then". He snaps that I'm "bang out of order" and when he comes to see me I shouldn't fuck off out. I tell him that when he comes to see me he shouldn't be a lazy cunt and stay in bed all morning. He says he's entitled to a lie in when he works all week. I tell him to lie in at his own house then instead of stinking out my bedroom.

Saturday afternoon and he'd continuously nagging about food. On the night he orders himself a huge takeaway and sits there drinking beer and inhaling this shit food. I tell him I can't see a future as we're just too different. He accuses some me of having an affair with karate instructor (who happens to be 20 years older than me and married). Yesterday he text me asking what we're doing this weekend as he wants a lie in!!!! I text him back saying not to bother coming as I have karate Friday night, park run Saturday and gym Sunday and don't want to sit filling my body with alcohol and fat all weekend. He sent a message last night saying I have broken him. I'm fucking livid.

OP posts:
Ceto · 17/10/2017 17:08

You haven't broken him, you've deprived him of a weekend shag and a chance to laze around in your bed rather than his own. If he's left anything at yours, pack it up and send it back and ignore him. Or tell him that you gave him a chance to get his act together, he couldn't be bothered, so he's broken himself.

lookingbeyond40 · 17/10/2017 17:40

Let’s turn this around a second.

Imagine if you went and saw him, all weekend and you buggered off and left you at home so he could pursue his hobbies. They’d be an uproar on here!!! Maybe he’s feeling a bit annoyed about it!!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do what you love, but make some compromises. Do things you both enjoy!! That is, if you have any mutual interests?

Of course, if you feel there is no future then move on.

lookingbeyond40 · 17/10/2017 17:42

And the instructor doesn’t sound awesome. He sounds like a creep who texted an inappropriate ‘jokey’ message when he’s married.

Or did I misinterpret that?

BaDumShh · 17/10/2017 17:44

Imagine if you went and saw him, all weekend and you buggered off and left you at home so he could pursue his hobbies. They’d be an uproar on here!!! Maybe he’s feeling a bit annoyed about it!!

If he hadn’t acted like a complete and utter childish prick, ridiculing everybody at the karate class, I might have some sympathy for him. But he did.

Also, his annoyance at her going out on Saturday morning seemed to be less about her doing her own thing and more about her not being around to serve Master his breakfast and morning coffee.

Get rid. He’s an arsehole.

lookingbeyond40 · 17/10/2017 17:44

Sorry he buggered off.

lookingbeyond40 · 17/10/2017 17:47

Ah, I missed that bit!!!!

Yes get rid😂😂😂

BaDumShh · 17/10/2017 17:47

Anyone who has done activities where you are learning a new skill and making yourself vulnerable will know there is nothing worse than having an outsider sitting and sniggering at you. It’s humiliating and is like being back at school.

If that had happened at any activity I was a participant of, I’d be going straight to the instructor and insisting that person never returned.

coddiwomple · 17/10/2017 17:59

lookingbeyond40
Or did I misinterpret that?

Yes, completely.

rainbowbreeze123 · 18/10/2017 14:46

Why dont you do your own thing Fri night and Sat morning and see each other later on the Sat or Sun ? Sounds like you suffocate each other to me..

SonicBoomBoom · 18/10/2017 14:52

He sounds like a pillock.

Don't lower yourself by losing your shit with him and making digs.

You've dumped him now. That's absolutely the right thing to do.

Onwards and upwards.

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