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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I am crazy to attempt this train trip with two children?

80 replies

lill72 · 17/10/2017 01:04

Am looking at going to Europe with two children alone - DH coming a few days later. The trip there involves 2 hours on first train, then a change of stations (about10 min walk away) with 1.5 hours to change trains, the another 2 hour train journey arriving at 10pm. Am I mad to attempt this with a 2 year old and 7 year old solo. With luggage and pram. Or should I pay extra in order to be able to break up the journey and stay a night to break it up? what would you do?

OP posts:
taratill · 17/10/2017 13:13

No problem at all. Take things to entertain them and use reigns or one of the those bags with a strap if your 2 year old is prone to running off and you don't have a buggy. (probably going to get all sorts of abuse for this suggestion but safety first!)

Loads of people travel solo with young kids for many many reasons.

Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:13

CSD - I feel a bit like this. I feel in the oast I have tried to do i all and it was just too hard. As my 2 year old gets older, it will be great and easy and I will laugh back at this , wondering why it seems hard. But if you have a two year tantrum thrower who will run away, nothing is ever simple

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Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:14

If we go earlier in the day, we have less time to change stations, thereby making the stress greater!

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Worriedobsessive · 17/10/2017 13:15

Given all this hassle how much extra is it to fly? And would you pay that, when your toddler is throwing a wobbler and the 7 year old is playing up and your bag has burst etc?

Wild horses wouldn't make me try that journey.

Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:17

Hetero - Im an Aussie and not afraid of travel. Been to Australia loads of times with young kids. It is my fear of missing the connection.

7 year old fine. 2 year old exhausting

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taratill · 17/10/2017 13:17

I've travelled on my own on similar journeys, my eldest was a handful (has ASD) but I managed. Where is your end destination, is driving an option? That way you've got them under control. Won't stop the whining though that's just toddlers.

Do you have to go because you don't sound as though you want to? Why bother if it's so much hard work?

Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:18

worried - probably £900 more at least....

The train is easy .... just not two trains....

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Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:20

Tara - I have a car but am no good on the other side of the road. Yes we are going for a holiday. Want to go just wishing my husband could leave when we can. He is coming later when the fares are too exxy for all of us (hundreds more) hence going early on my own.

I guess I know what I can manage and I guess it all depends on your own children. Some may be easier than others.

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ftw · 17/10/2017 13:24

If you're really stressing about it, break the journey.

IMO that just prolongs the misery, but you seem to know what you're capable of so you're your own best judge.

(Or is it possible to go on the earlier train but with tickets that would let you travel on a later train if you missed the tight connection? You could do that in the UK, but I'm not sure about France.)

taratill · 17/10/2017 13:24

Can't your husband drive you all later then?

I think you will manage the journey fine. You might have a headache at the end but that's the joy of travelling with young kids.

My kids are not easy (eldest ASD) and I have managed air travel with interchanges in airports. It wasn't easy by any means but if you have to get there that's life.

Knusper · 17/10/2017 13:26

I once missed a connection - alone with two small kids - on exactly that route because we had an hour to change stations and the Eurostar was late. The conductor said that you should always allow at least an hour and a half. So I wouldn't go earlier either if it means a tighter connection.

To be honest, I would consider paying extra and breaking up the journey so that you have at least a two hour connection. If the Eurostar is late and you miss the second train you risk being stranded in Paris late evening with two small kids. Which would be more expensive. It's a really easy connection otherwise, but missing the train would be the only thing that worried me.

Please get reins for the toddler! Or one of those rucksacks with leads. Way too stressful otherwise.

flissfloss65 · 17/10/2017 13:26

I'd do the trip in one go. Staying somewhere for the night will be loads more hassle.

At least it's three sections so your dc will be in a different place with new things to see.

I'd rather get it all done than have two days of potential problems.

Ragusa · 17/10/2017 13:32

Do you have to go via paris? That is going to be the most stressy bit. I seem to remember that we have changed in lille on some journeys (helpfully I cant remember where to) and that was totally fine. Paris changeovers have varied between taking years off my life and being largely fine.

If you live in SE and drive another option is to take tunnel, dump car and then take a train through france. I think we did this and drove to arras one year.

BertrandRussell · 17/10/2017 13:32

Why is a 10 minute walk in Paris stressful?

Ragusa · 17/10/2017 13:34

Seat61 is good for rail conundrums and connection asvice BTW

user1495451339 · 17/10/2017 13:35

It doesn't sound too bad as long as there are lifts at the stations. You can strap the 2 year old in the buggy for the walk and if you have wheelie cases it should be OK. People should be able to help you on and off train.

Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:46

bertrand - sounds so simple. 10 minutes.10 minutes walk from station entrances. Add in two children bored from the first train trip, wanting to get out of the pram, screaming, yelling, fighting with 7 year old, me trying to find where I am going in this craziness, one hungry, one needing the toilet, eurostar a bit late, i cant find where to go, worried about being distracted and pickpocketed, trying to manage luggage... sounds so easy doesnt it! There is 1.5 hours gone in a flash!

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Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:47

Ragusa - i looked into Lille also as I know Lille and station would be less stressful. Still a possiblity.... just has one 3 hour train which is quite long and is more expensive... but yes still considering this...

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BertrandRussell · 17/10/2017 13:50

Fair enough-I didn't mean to sound like a dick, and I realize that I did. I travelled a lot with mine when they were small (very mixed nationality family) so I can't see the problem, sorry. SadBlush

Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:50

fliss floss - I would stay right near the station. practically at the station so it really is not a hassle.

Knusper - oh no that is not great. Sorry it happened to you . This is what I worry about. Leaving the station after it is late and having less time to change. do they compensate you surely?

You cannot just get on a later train - if you book whole thing through Eurostar you have to get on the train you are booked on and connections are never long. The only way is to book second leg direct through sncf and it costs more.

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Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:54

I have looked into as many possible options and alternatives as possible!!!

The Parma trip with 3 changes that I could not miss stressed me so much. I was on the train crying. Then we were nearly at our stop and I got off at the stop before ours and burst into tears as it was 9pm with two young children. I was exhausted. This mother took pity on and drove me to the next town where i was staying (yes the crazy things you do) I think being in a foreign country exhausted with two children , constantly distracted makes it hard. I feel I am a hardy traveller up for more than most (other mums think I am brave doing some of the travel I do with bubs) but I guess from my travels I think I know my limits. Just chatting with you all is helping me work through this so thanks!

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Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:56

Thank you Ragusa - I did have a look at this. It was helpful in giving me a better idea. I'd love to hear any other experiences with children doing tis same change?

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Original poster
lill72 · 17/10/2017 13:59

Bertand - sorry wasnt mean to sound rude, more just trying to paint a picture. We are doing this journey on the way home, but with DH there, there is no issue. It is me being on my own. As said , have taken children solo (only 1 at any time) to Australia multiple times and to other places in europe but not with changes... it is just the missing of the connection in a quite tight timeframe.

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Knusper · 17/10/2017 14:02

BertrandRussell oh, I wasn't referring to the walk. It's not remotely stressful if you're not under time pressure, don't have too much luggage and have a kids who are cooperative (or time to manage lack of cooperation).

Actually, I found reins more useful for keeping toddler buggy refusers/runners close in crowded railways stations when my hands were otherwise full. OP has a runner and will be hanging around the Gare de l'Est waiting for a train as you can't usually board until the last minute.

Knusper · 17/10/2017 14:02

Massive cross post!

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