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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be absolutely furious at the bloke on Abortion on Trial (currently on BBC2)

83 replies

RestlessTraveller · 16/10/2017 21:30

He the only bloke in the debate. He was pro-choice until his partner had one against his will, so now he wants it recriminalised.

Dick.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 16/10/2017 22:29

I’m not watching the programme but my thoughts are that no man or woman should have a say on what another woman does with her body.
An abortion is the business of the person having it and nobody else.

PurpleDaisies · 16/10/2017 22:30

Personally I think she should consider embryo selection if she’s willing to do that!
Isn't that illegal in this country?

juddyrockingcloggs · 16/10/2017 22:32

PurpleDaisies,

Yes, but if someone is desperate to have a child of a particular sex then they could always travel.

IcingSausage · 16/10/2017 22:32

getting pregnant then aborting a healthy foetus because it's a girl (and it is likely to be mostly girls) is not something I'm completely comfortable with.

No, me neither. It’s not a choice I can understand but that’s kind of my point. Can I describe myself as truly pro-choice if I am only supportive as long as the woman’s choices align with ones I would make? I’d say no.

MsPavlichenko · 16/10/2017 22:36

He didn't lose a baby. His then partner terminated a pregnancy. A medical procedure. Criminalising it will simple mean that it will be carried out without medical support. As it was, and still is throughout the world.

And yes, if the pregnancy did continue he would have been obligated to support the child. He has the option to avoid .

Cornettoninja · 16/10/2017 22:37

Wouldn't embryo selection based on sex be pretty much the same thing as a termination morally?

I had this debate with myself a while ago and decided that any reason a woman does not wish to be pregnant is reason enough. I may not like their reasoning but it's still ultimately their choice. Pregnancy and birth should not be something a woman should be forced to endure.

You can't force a woman to become pregnant, you shouldn't force a woman to remain pregnant.

bigfatbumfreak · 16/10/2017 22:45

Should men be forced to pay child support based on the overarching right of women to choose or not to choose abortion.

You cant say a man having sex unprotected is choosing to be a father, if a woman chooses not to be a mother.

Brahms3rdracket · 16/10/2017 22:50

I screamed at him too. Dickwad Angry

mirime · 16/10/2017 22:56

Pregnancy and birth should not be something a woman should be forced to endure.

I agree, but what if your deliberately conceived baby is a girl four or five times in a row. Deliberately getting pregnant then having an abortion over and over again has to start taking a toll at some point.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 16/10/2017 23:09

It might be important to the man who's not getting his own way but until men can give birth they can fuck right off with their forced birthing bollocks

This.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/10/2017 23:10

As a woman who has suffered numerous miscarriages and due to 6 cycles of IVF thus having 12 ‘embryos’ transferred I can honestly say they are ‘babies’. I miscarried babies not mere embryos.

I'm very sorry for your losses. I was speaking from a biological viewpoint, though.

Missdread · 16/10/2017 23:14

It's interesting that the religious ones didn't consider the following: only 1 in 4 natural conceptions results in a viable pregnancy, the rest are lost in miscarriage. Therefore "god" is the biggest "murderer" of all. So there!

JemimaLovesHamble · 17/10/2017 00:11

It shows that the current abortion laws (as they are practiced) do not grant any rights to fathers which is not an unimportant issue.

He did not lose his baby. It was a foetus that was not in his body.

This is not an issue where there can ever be equality. To give rights to a prospective father, rights would have to be removed from the pregnant woman.

It's a shame if a man wants to have a baby and his partner doesn't and aborts it, but he should not get to choose that she continues the pregnancy for his benefit (or ends it for his benefit). He may have sabotaged contraception to deliberately get her pregnant for control/abuse reasons, then there's the fact that obviously there are a lot of physical and mental health risks associated with both pregnancy and childbirth. Giving men rights over women's bodies again is not a regression our society needs.

JemimaLovesHamble · 17/10/2017 00:20

You cant say a man having sex unprotected is choosing to be a father, if a woman chooses not to be a mother.

Yes you can. A woman in our country may choose not to be a mother, we have laws that allow this.

A man who becomes a father is supposed to be jointly responsible for the child's care - though let's face it, people always talk about this issue like poor men have their balls held over the fire by the authorities. In reality plenty of men manage to happily dodge their responsibilities, whether it's because he moves away, because he takes up cash in hand work or hides his money or lets a woman support him, or because she's afraid of him, or because he emotionally manipulates her, or endless other reasons.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/10/2017 00:36

You cant say a man having sex unprotected is choosing to be a father

You can certainly say that he is choosing to potentially be a father, and that he should only have unprotected sex if he willing to bear his share of responsibility if he does become a father.

MistressDeeCee · 17/10/2017 00:44

Abortion on Trial,,,,,? I hadnt heard about this programme don't think I'd want to watch it. The title is disgusting. "On trial?!". This society is hurtling backwards in terms of womens' rights to their own bodies and spaces. Awful

shakingmyhead1 · 17/10/2017 01:38

everyday i see more and more stories of us going backward and into "women as property" again... men wanting the ultimate decision making over a woman in abortion rights....dress codes for females but most often not for males, American politicians saying " women's bodies have an ability to prevent conception in cases of actual rape" ( fucken moron) and how in some cases the rapist can get visitation of a child because he is the father, the Italian judge who let the rapist off because it cant have been rape as she was wearing jeans, that boy who raped(? sexually assaulted at the very least) the passed out girl and got off with a slap on the wrist because hes got a promising future, you see so many stories of girls getting detention or having to go home and change because you can see her knees or collarbone ( i know a lot of these are from USA but if there idiots start to erode our rights it will spread everywhere .... i often wonder if they could, would they adopt some of the hardline attitudes of Islamic culture and have us all in a burka and not having many of the freedoms we enjoy now.... I know if i got pregnant again my body would fail and i and the baby would die, the ob wanted to take my bits out with my 2nd and was very angry at me for not coming in until i was 5 months along as he would have strongly been suggesting abortion as it was he only allowed me 2 hours day on my feet, no driving or lifting even a washing basket and no being any more than 30 mins from a hospital as i have a very small pelvis and once he got a first hand look at it with baby number 1 he said there was no way i could ever give birth naturally (and she was tiny , even though she was full term she was in prem clothes) i cant take the pill or the like so my options are no sex, condoms and getting fixed, if i do have a slip up and a condom broke, as much as we would love another 3 or 4 kids my husband would drive me right to the hospital for an abortion and if he was allowed hold my hand during it, its a pity all men couldn't be as realistic as him...
and one other thing all the anti abortionists waving there signs screaming out murderer, go to jail, dont be a baby killer blah blah blah where are they when the mother does keep an unwanted child? are they there offering to pay more taxes for social services to ensure the child is cared for, are they offering to find it a home? no? their job is done just by preventing the woman getting it done, not to help ensure she has the money to raise it or to ensure the father pays his share or does his share....

AngeloMysterioso · 17/10/2017 01:42

Just watching this now... it's giving me rage. He really is obtuse isn't he. Suggesting a woman wanting a fourth abortion should be subjected to psychiatric assessment, or forced to carry and give birth to a baby? He clearly hasn't thought that through.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/10/2017 02:09

I am willing to give him a say. WHEN AND IF they invent a way to teleport a fetus out of a uterus with absolutely no harm to mother or fetus. And into a man, who carries it to term.

Otherwise it's not 'equal'. Birth is one of the most dangerous days of a woman's life. Forcing an unwilling women to go through it would be traumatic and abusive.

selfishcrab · 17/10/2017 18:01

Watched this and I do feel for this man, it is sad but it isn't and should never be his decision to make.
I work every day with woman who are in or who have been in this horrid place, it isn't easy and just because people assume that for some woman it is a form of contraception that is rare, far rarer then you would think!
As for the protesters what a load of lies they tell, they have no idea the pain and suffering they cause stood outside the clinics with no real care about the autonomy or compassion for anyone other than their own agenda.

OnionShite · 17/10/2017 18:14

You may not agree with him but you should have a little bit of sympathy.

No, you should have zero sympathy for someone who wants to shit on your right to bodily autonomy.

Eleanorsummer · 17/10/2017 18:28

He is a twat.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 17/10/2017 18:31

I didn’t watch it as I’m passionately pro-choice and I think it will just make me angry. But honestly, a man’s opinion on abortion is completely irrelevant. The same way my opinion on prostates is irrelevant.

blondiebonce · 17/10/2017 18:34

Though I don't agree with his points, I agree he does deserve sympathy in terms of I can't imagine how he felt that the choice of having the baby/embryo/foetus he'd had some part in creating(?) was taken away.
I'm not saying that gives a man rights or takes them away from the woman, but I can see where he would be sad. Just because we disagree with him doesn't make his emotions less valid to him.

blondiebonce · 17/10/2017 18:36

i do agree his emotions don't give him a right to be an absolute prat btw.