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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that things that give you pleasure are NOT a waste of money?

84 replies

malificent7 · 16/10/2017 18:34

On mn many things on threads about money are considered a waste of money... i have seen
holidays, meals out tattoos, takeout coffee, nice clothes etc a waste of money.
Aibu to think that nothing is a waste of money if it enhances your life? If you love it?

OP posts:
emmyrose2000 · 17/10/2017 05:07

We used to have an amazing cleaning magician lady who came once a fortnight. I know most of my friends thought it was a complete waste of money not that it's any of their business, but it freed me up to do the work I needed to do.

There was one particular day when I felt she was worth 10 times what I paid her. I'd had a horrendous month dealing with a dying friend amongst other things. Normally I tidied the house up before she came so all she had to do was the cleaning. But then came the day of the funeral, and we left the house in a terrible mess. Upon coming home, I came into the house from the garage and it was absolutely spotless and tidy. I'm not sure how I'd have coped if I'd had to walk back into the disaster we'd left that morning. That might seem trivial, and a waste of money to some, but to me it was the best money I'd spent in a very long time.

The other thing our family loves to spend our money on is holidays, usually long haul for 4-6 weeks every 1-2 years. I know people who think the only holiday "worthy" of spending money on is a weekend in a tent in the bush. Well, good for them, but I make no apology for wanting/preferring to stay in nice hotels and exploring what this world has to offer.

RavingRoo · 17/10/2017 06:41

I personally like designer handbags, nice clothes, and travelling first class / five star where I can. I don’t have much free time and so anything which maximises it gets a thumbs up in my book.

Growingboys · 17/10/2017 06:47

Couldnt agree more! Life is so short - do what makes you happy.

Growingboys · 17/10/2017 06:48

(I spend my money on nice tea, clothes, yoga and books). One day I will spend it on a dog...

Greyhorses · 17/10/2017 06:50

I pretty much feed my horse £20 notes.

She is worth it most of the time but we could have moved to a bigger house lots quicker if I didn't have her!

Tangoandcreditcards · 17/10/2017 06:53

I don't think holidays are a waste of money per se. But I'm a real home-bunny - I love spending my money and time off on making my home nice and spending time in the area that I live in with the DCs (admittedly I've only recently moved here, so exploring is a novelty). But I've always been the same I think.

So exotic holidays might be a waste of MY money - I don't travel well (hate flying, resent the time spent travelling) and I get just as much pleasure out of enjoying my home. But I wouldn't project those feelings on anyone else - people obviously get their enjoyment out of different things.

Ktown · 17/10/2017 06:53

They are only a waste of money if you have cc debt and no savings.
I do think that take out coffee if a waste and I rarely buy that unless it is on expenses.

OneOfTheGrundys · 17/10/2017 06:55

I spent 12k on a new roof for the house. Every time I come home I look at it and it makes me happy.

Equally the lack of a damp patch in the kitchen.

Sad. But true. Grin

OneOfTheGrundys · 17/10/2017 06:56

(And no holidays for a while as a result!)

Brittbugs80 · 17/10/2017 06:58

If you can afford it, it's not a waste. We get our oven cleaned twice a year. Best thing ever. It costs £60 so we put £10 aside a month to pay for it.

It's down to individuals what they feel is wasteful and what isn't, however on here you are usually shot down for anything that's worthy of an argument, ranging from holidays, where you shop, cars, clothes etc and using credit cards are the work of the devil (if used in the wrong way, yes they are lethal)

For instance, we went to Budapest for 28 days, three years ago. It cost us £980 self catering as we booked with the person who owned the flat direct rather than using an Agent etc. We put it on an interest free credit card (to get points) and cleared it within three months. The points we then boosted and it paid for our National Trust membership for the year, a years pass to the Safari park and a years pass to the zoo.

There was no interest on the credit card, we gained from the points and the card was closed after.

If your putting holidays and everything on your credit card and never clearing it then it can get troublesome. I have a credit card and clear the balance monthly, DH does the same. We have a separate holiday pot and we book with an interest free credit card (for protection) and clear it either within the year or two months. If we lost our jobs, we could realistically survive 2 years without employment.

I've been on my arse and literally counting pennies so I work to ensure I'm covered, yet people will have an opinion on me wasting money on something but they have no clue about my finances.

Shadow666 · 17/10/2017 07:04

The only time I care about what friends spend their money on is when they complain about being broke but every day they buy themselves breakfast at Starbucks, are always buying new clothes and have just got back from another holiday abroad.

I genuinely don’t care what they do but when you have to sit there listening to them whining all the time about having no money, it’s really annoying especially as I genuinely have no money for that kind of stuff.

I think everyone needs a treat now and again but it’s crazy to go balls deep in debt for a designer bag you can’t afford.

sandgrown · 17/10/2017 07:15

I work with a guy who travels by bike to save money and moans all the time about the cost of his mortgage etc. He brings sandwiches from the local butty shop, nips to the canteen for a coffee/snack or buys from the chocolate machine.

speakout · 17/10/2017 07:15

I agree in part OP, but I struggle to find pleasure in being taken for a mug by marketing people.

I want value for money.
I don't mind paying for a holiday or a meal out, if it's good value and I don't feel ripped off.
Paying £2000 for a designer handbag or shoes, £100 for a candle etc is simply taking the piss.
I despise designer labels as most of that money is not paying for raw materials or labour, but ends up paying for fancy cars and expense accounts of advertising and marketing people.

They are having the last laugh, a £2000 handbag would give me no more pleasure than a £20 one.

pinkmagic1 · 17/10/2017 07:30

Obviously if you are going without basics and getting into serious debt to afford nice things then that's not good but life is far too short to be miserable.
My nan recently died, leaving a large sum of money, yet in life deprived herself of things. She wouldn't buy a lovely new armchair as she deemed it 'too expensive'. She struggled with mobility yet would not use taxis as they were 'too expensive'. It was a life half lived.
No point being the richest man or women in the graveyard.

TheSnowFairy · 17/10/2017 08:23

YANBU.

I recently booked a holiday, and then had quite a lot of unforeseen costs (washing machine broke, toilet broke, school trips) that made us skint for the month.

But the holiday is in the diary and something to look forward to.

oldlaundbooth · 17/10/2017 18:48

£3 on a coffee every day can make a shit commute bearable.

As can 10k on a family trip to the Maldives.

You cut your cloth.

Eolian · 17/10/2017 18:54

YANBU. Usually the things people call a waste of money on MN are simply things they don't personally like and therefore can't imagine spending money on.

speakout · 17/10/2017 19:01

Usually the things people call a waste of money on MN are simply things they don't personally like and therefore can't imagine spending money on.

No. I love coffee.

I just can't imagine spending £700 a year on takeaway coffees.

Eolian · 17/10/2017 19:26

Yes, fine. But I said 'usually'. People are very often saying on here that things like Disney holidays, designer handbags and regular manicures are a waste of money. I happen to agree, but only because they'd be a waste of money for me because I'm not interested in them.

Mammylamb · 17/10/2017 20:16

I think it really depends on what makes you happy! We spend a lot on our house, as we have upsized from a smaller house that was suitable to a much bigger house that we love. We also spend money on weekend lunches out, a cleaner, a dog walker and lots of stuff for our son. I don't think this is a waste, as it brings us pleasure. We always bring our own lunches to work and our make coffee for the commute at home; whereas colleagues spend money on those things; but if it makes them happy then fair play! At the moment fancy holidays, nights out at the pub, designer clothes would be a waste of money for us. But these are things that we have previously enjoyed and brought us pleasure at the time.

NoKidsTwoCats · 17/10/2017 20:19

Yanbu. What's the point in life if you can't indulge in whatever you enjoy (within reason, obviously - I'm not saying you should prioritise it over the essentials)? Whether that's holidays, a manicure, a designer handbag or a good book, what a miserable existence it would be without pleasures.

coddiwomple · 17/10/2017 20:22

It's only a waste of money when you complain that you can't afford something because of these non-essential things. Make your own choices, but be consistent.

Don't complain about other people "luxury" lifestyle (decent size house + holidays) but spend a fortune on take-away, sky tv, cleaners, 2 cars etc.

What would be the point of going to work if you couldn't afford to treat yourself?

LieInsAreExtinct · 18/10/2017 07:39

Waste of money if you are just acquiring things for short-term gratification and not really appreciating them in the long term...e.g. designer handbags, people do sometimes have regrets later on about blowing a fortune in something they hardly used... acquiring lots of stuff doesn't actually lead to long-term happiness, does it? Anticipation can be half the pleasure, especially with holidays and other events.

speakout · 18/10/2017 07:52

what a miserable existence it would be without pleasures.
What would be the point of going to work if you couldn't afford to treat yourself?

You see that's quite a subjective view.

If we measure other people's pleasure by our own standards- we may decide they are having no pleasure and a miserly miserable existence.

"Stuff" gives me very little pleasure. I wouldn't count a pair of jimmy Choos as a "treat".

I am happy to buy my clothes from jumble sales.
I don't struggle financially, simply that material things don't have much meaning for me.
A few days ago I watched close to 1000 geese flying overhead in huge V formations, quite low, honking as they passed.
I ran out into my garden to watch.
To me that's real pleasure.

But each to their own. I just feel that all this "stuff" is a big con.

Marketing people convincing us that our lives would be happier if we buy into their dream.

No thanks.

Ecureuil · 18/10/2017 07:57

*But each to their own. I just feel that all this "stuff" is a big con.

Marketing people convincing us that our lives would be happier if we buy into their dream*

But just as you don’t like stuff, some people do. That doesn’t mean they’re stupid and have allowed themselves to be conned by marketing people, it just means they like different things to you.
I like ‘stuff’. I like to hunt for antique furniture for my house. It makes me happy to have a home full of things I love. I like cashmere jumpers that feel nice on my skin, for example. That doesn’t make me a gullible sheep.