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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that things that give you pleasure are NOT a waste of money?

84 replies

malificent7 · 16/10/2017 18:34

On mn many things on threads about money are considered a waste of money... i have seen
holidays, meals out tattoos, takeout coffee, nice clothes etc a waste of money.
Aibu to think that nothing is a waste of money if it enhances your life? If you love it?

OP posts:
Tainbri · 16/10/2017 19:29

My DH considers holidays a total waste of money and refuses to go! He says he has everything he wants at home. He hates the sun, hates queues, hates airports.... however I LOVE my holiday and I go with DS. I pay for my holiday (and DS) and whilst it has caused the odd row with him telling me it's a waste of money it's not to me!! He's come round to the idea more recently as he realises that DS won't want to go with me for ever... But he thinks I should spend my earnings on "us" but this is the one thing that we just can't agree on Hmm

honeylulu · 16/10/2017 19:31

I agree that if you can afford things AND they enhance your life then not a waste of money.
However I'm quite tightarsed thrifty and I definitely like to feel that the money spent is justified by the amount of pleasure gained. If not I would rather not bother and put the money towards a bigger, more permanent pleasure (saving for our forever home).
I have definitely had holidays since we've had children that I feel were a total waste of money - thousands of pounds to be kept awake at night, chase after naughty toddlers, demonstrate with stroppy adolescents, stand in queues, argue with husband when we get lost in the hire car. I come back thinking of the other stuff we could have done with 5k and two weeks of annual leave.

Trills · 16/10/2017 19:32

What is money for, if not "things that give you pleasure"?

Bearing in mind that having somewhere to live and being able to eat and pay bills gives me pleasure... Or not having those things would give me pain, and pain-avoidance is part of the spectrum of pleasure-seeking.

Trills · 16/10/2017 19:33

When something is a waste of money, it is because it doesn't give you as much pleasure as you thought, or because you think you could have got more pleasure spending it another way.

My cleaner is definitely not a waste of money. If I get a text saying "sorry, can't come today", I don't get home and think "yay, I have £25", I think "what a shame, my flat is not all nice and clean".

User36367292 · 16/10/2017 19:39

depends how you find things. If debted up to the eyeballs then it is a waste of money. My brother goes on loads of holidays he can't afford and has over £100k on credit cards and loans excluding his mortgage which is interest only. He has no way at all of paying any of this back. Doesn't seem to bother him but I'm sure it will one day.

Timmytoo · 16/10/2017 19:45

I waste so much money every month. I have to spend daily so will find something to buy. I love living and I love spending. But I live in an inspirational place to spend 😆. Never spent a dime in The UK 😂

user1497787065 · 16/10/2017 19:46

I have my oven cleaned twice a year. This guy does a far better job than I could. So am I saving money in the longer term by maintaining my oven. Money well spent!

Timmytoo · 16/10/2017 19:48

I live spending and wasting money, although I live in a very inspirational place to spend 😆

Timmytoo · 16/10/2017 19:49

Oh ha ha!!! It sent twice. Typed it and Phone banged out so retyped shorter version as couldn’t be arsed and both were sent BlushBlushConfused

SecretSmellies · 16/10/2017 19:50

I get my carpets cleaned once a year. Bloody love it. Not a waste of money to me, not least because we have 3 dogs.

pasturesgreen · 16/10/2017 19:51

YADNBU, OP.

I quite like my comfort, and if said comfort takes the form of a glossy magazine or a designer something, than so be it. My money does not come from robbing old ladies, so it's nobody's business what it gets spent on.

Ploppie4 · 16/10/2017 19:58

There are lots of experiences that can enrich people’s lives. Some are free, others not. Personally I don’t believe you have to spend a lot of cash to have a great time. Of course it’s nive to splash occasionally

TheLuminaries · 16/10/2017 20:03

My horses are a huge colossal waste of money - I might as well make a bonfire of banknotes in the field.

They also keep me in touch with my inner child, have given me my greatest achievements and most memorable moments, taken me through traumatic bereavements and I swear have literally saved my life.

I think some people know the cost of everything but the value of nothing. You can't take it with you. If it gives you joy it is never a waste.

Etymology23 · 16/10/2017 20:07

I think there are a few things:

Things can be a waste of money if you've paid more than you needed to for that thing (but must account for convenience).

They can also be a waste of money if you needed to spend the money on something else. If you're tight for cash and spend your money on handbags or holidays instead of your pension needs then it's a waste of money.

Someone up thread mentioned that you can save for a deposit, if you go without everything nice. I really do see both sides of this - some of my friends go on long haul holidays every year, buy coffee every day and eat out and go for cocktails multiple times a week. That's maybe £1500, £750 and £2500 (assuming £15 pw and £50pw for second two, with 50 weeks per year). You could have people over for drinks or dinner, go on a cheaper self catering holiday with friends and cut that coffee to once a week and suddenly you've spent maybe £1000 per year instead and saved an extra £3750. That's not actually going without everything nice. It's fine if it's not their priority but it's also within their own power to massively increase their savings. (Obviously that doesn't apply for people without fairly solid incomes!) I get that deposits have increased massively though and that the saving required has significantly increased and that in some places in the country it would be nigh on impossible to save enough even on a good income and so then it seems like you may as well just have as much fun as you can.

SecretSmellies · 16/10/2017 20:16

On what Etymology says;

When I stopped drinking a couple of years back I decided to put the savings into a separate account. We had always struggled a bit with money-not breadline,but not having alot to spare. DH gave up smoking at the same time.

We have not been on a family holiday since 2013. With our combined savings, we are going to Lapland this year and to Australia for 8 weeks next year. This is directly due to savings from giving up the daily waste that was smoking/booze.

I'm delighted with this to be honest. I always thought' Oh, a bottle of wine here, a pack of fags there... it's nothing at the end of the day..' I now have a disposable income to spend it on luxuries that will make me very happy indeed. That means more than money. :)

Etymology23 · 16/10/2017 21:01

Smellies - exactly, I think what I was trying to say is that we all have a finite amount of money and beyond basic food and shelter we call choose what makes us happiest - fancier food, going out for dinner, posh holidays, saving for a house/renting/buying a bigger house. That's in our power and we can't complain about not doing one thing if we're choosing not to have that money because we're spending it on something else. We can be sad we can't do both but ultimately the prioritisation is in our power.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 16/10/2017 21:41

I enjoying spending money on leisure and frivolities. Going out for brunch, getting my nails done etc. But fortunate that I’m able to afford it (and there have been plenty of times I haven’t). So having been brassic broke and reasonably comfortable, I’m a definite fan of spending money on leisure and frivolities when you can afford it.

JustMarriedBecca · 16/10/2017 22:35

I can afford coffees and clothes right now but I'd rather save as we're all likely to be shafted by Brexit and I'd like to maintain my holidays in the bad times. Saving makes me happy.

I'd not judge anyone who did spend £5 a day on coffee and a muffin because I've done it for a while but generally, it was to delay going into work and I don't need to do that anymore.

CakeWarsz · 17/10/2017 02:16

Some things that give me pleasure are free. Some things that give me pleasure cost money. I spend some and save some. I also give some of my free time and money. I am very lucky to have been able to do alot of things that I enjoy. I've been through some bad times, so I really appreciate the good times. I don't want to get really old and look back and wish I had done x or you. Life is for living.

GetOutOfMYGarden · 17/10/2017 02:21

As PPs have said before, it depends on your finances.

If I decided to blow £50k on my dream car now instead of using it for a house deposit? Complete waste of money. If Harry Styles decided to blow £50k on the same car it's a drop in the ocean.

musicform · 17/10/2017 02:24

Sparkly has a good point although I'm on the other side of the fence. I gave a small collection of designer handbags and get good use and lots of pleasure out of them. I enjoy holidays but find the money used for exotic holidays I would rather spend on reducing mortgage. I have also spoken to people who consider a mortgage a waste of money as it's better to rent and not be responsible for your own property including selling/buying fees etc

musicform · 17/10/2017 02:25

I also find my time now is incredibly valuable and I happily pay for someone else's to do the work - think meals out or dishwasher - so I have that time to spend with family (I work FT and then some)

Out2pasture · 17/10/2017 02:31

OP, not if you personally can’t afford it and you borrowed the money from your parents. Or again if the money was gifted to you to improve your everyday living circumstance...

TangledUp07 · 17/10/2017 02:54

It depends on your individual circumstances and priorities. To me spending £5+ every day on a takeaway coffee and sandwich is a waste of money, when I could buy a Waitrose reduced sandwich (with free coffee) for 20p. I'd enjoy my meal just as much, plus I'd get a good feeling from having picked up a bargain (which I wouldn't get from Starbucks).

When I was younger I used to spend my money on overpriced clothes, food, make-up and magazines and it didn't make me feel very happy (at least not in the long term). I get a lot more pleasure nowadays from being sensible with money, looking out for the best bargains and putting money into my savings account.

Oblomov17 · 17/10/2017 02:54

If you can afford it. We all choose to spend our money differently and that is of course fine.

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