To think this money isn't family money, it's money for the dcs.

[Pitchounette]

My parents have very kindly agree to pay for some tutoring for the dcs (Y10 and 11).
I gave them to the cost of one hour tutoring, the basically multiply that by two (for the two dcs) and then by 4 (4 weeks a month). They also decided to do an automatic transfer (because it's easier for them).

The thing is, most months, the dcs dont get some lessons every week. You have the holidays etc... so it often costs us less than what they give us.

DH seems to think that whatever is left is fair game and can be used to do something. So this summer, he decided that he could use that money to buy xxx. that we wouodntbhave been able to afford otherwise!
I really don't see it like this. This money is for the dcs so I am happy to either spend it on the dcs or to out it aside (eg when we want to by something a bit more expensive at Christmas or for their b'day). But not for Day to day stuff.

IBU to not want to see that money disappear into normal spending and sort ring fence it for the dcs? DH disagrees....

Presuming your parents are in agreement I would spend it on other things which will enhance their education. Extra revision guides, extra school bits and bobs they may need etc.

The money is for your DCs, or you if you really need it (should things go pear-shaped with your childish DH who is coveting money YOUR parents have provided for YOUR CHILDREN).

He is completely out of order trying to take over the spending of money that has nothing to do with him. He should just be grateful that your parents are picking up an expense he would otherwise have to help cover!

He sounds like a jerk, frankly.

Your parents have given you money to be spent on their grandchildren. It's not your husband's money to spend. I agree that he's behaving like a prick and has stolen from his children.

It should be spent on the dc or your dh should ask your parents permission to spend it on the thing he wanted.

YANBU unless you are on the bread line

Separate online savings account in your name only to be used for discretionary educational items/school trips etc

YANBU

I hope it’s not a PlayStation.

It's stealing for his kids

From*

My dad died last year and I inherited some money. It is a separate account and referred to as Grandad's money. So far dd has done very well out of grandads money but DH would never dream of asking for anything.

The extra tuition money should be kept for extra tuition IMO.

As your Year 11 DC heads towards next May, he or she will very likely benefit from a few extra sessions to cover anything she is particularly struggling with at that point.

If not, put it to towards Year 12/College expenses, something like that. I wouldn't be able to just spend it, no.

Surely he'd be glad of a pot of dedicated education related savings when they need driving lessons or a saxophone in the future.... How selfish/shortsighted!?

So, a spare..what ..£40 every 6 weeks or so? Do you really account down to the last penny like that?
I expect there's other money that gets spent on the DC randomly, like new football boots, clothes when they need them, a Maccy D occasionally. Is it only me that thinks that if there is spare money, it is family money and DH is as entitled to it as anyone else? How much are you talking about here? I'm getting the impression that DH is expected to account for every penny, which would annoy me if I were him.
If your budget is really that tight, then I would expect DH to discuss it with you before before spending a significant amount, but if not, does he not deserve a treat sometimes? How much money are you talking about?

If as a couple you pool your money, then any ;eft over from tutoring (assuming your parents don't want it back) should be pooled

I would put it aside, if the lessons are sports or music related there may be costs incurred relating to that in the future?

What did your DH want to spend it on?

Any left over money is for the children! If the money benefits the whole then fine but if it's solely for the benefit of you two then no, I don't think that's right.

Spend it on the dc, let your parents know how you spent it, photos, thank you texts etc. I think they’d love it and it’s the perfect reward for their continued generosity.

Dw has a retired friend who didn’t have any daughters and spoils our dd rotten. She knitted a cardi for dd that was too big and dd probably wouldn’t ever get a chance to wear it because the seasons would be off, so in the end I have it to my goddaughter with her permission. But we also made sure to really show our gratitude and bought a nice picture frame with both girls in it for her. Now she spoils both girls rotten lol.

Dh sounds like he’s being grabby and that type of behaviour usually ends up fucking up a good thing.

As A parent and SGP, I would send you the money and expect it to be used for the tutors, if any was left over you can use it towards school trips or sports boots and things that are little extras.
I wouldn't expect my SIL to spend it on himself..
Best not to tell me, but move it out of the family account next time please, so he isn't tempted.

Your parents have given the money to be spent on your DC's tutoring and it should be used for that. If there was any left it would be OK to use it for books or school equipment. Not OK to spend it on other things. I don't think you should use it to put towards birthday presents.

Its for the children, so any left over could be spent on new boots, as you said, a day out for them, a new book, etc etc.

Your H is a knob!

My mum gives me cash to spend on 'extras' for the children whenever she visits. My DH knows this. Never in a million years would he suggest it be spent on anything other than the DC.

put the left overs in your children's savings accounts

The money was given for the children's tuition. If dh is so sure that any money left over should be treated as family money then he should have no problem in telling the gp's that he intends to spend it on something for himself. If he would never in a million years tell them and would be angry / embarrassed if you told them then that says it all. He should use this money for it's intended purpose.

YANBU it is only for the DC's education. If there is spare get books, language CDs or have a trip to an exhibition etc. Lots of ways to use it on the intended purpose.

Wut [what] was the item ?

Why wouldn't you just tell us OP ? Why Tease ?