AIBU to expect adult DD to arrange days out with DH?

[Sharlie12345]

DD is now 18. In all fairness her dad has worked a lot throughout her life and rarely did anything 1-1 she keeps bringing it up now (he no longer works) but surely now she's 18 she can arrange things for them to do?

I think you should google love languages. It might help explain things.

Do your dd and dh actually know anything much about each other at all, or have any of the same interests? What on earth does he now do all day? He sounds very boring and uninterested, tbh, and emotionally cold. No wonder she doesn't suggest anything, with his attitude. Clearly it is more than he can cope with already that he sees her all day! Why should the onus be on the dd to get to know her father? He's just advertising the fact work isn't the only reason he didn't spend much 1-1 time with her when she was a young child - he also couldn't be bothered, it would seem.

My dad worked long hours when I was a kid (actually, both my parents did) but they still made the effort to spend time with me - and still do now!

I’m back living with them temporarily and my dad still insists on taking me out for coffee and cake, and mum and I often do lunch or go to the cinema. Of course I organise things too, but I’d be pretty upset if I expressly wanted time with one of them and they couldn’t be bothered

Tell your DH he’ll reap what he sows and if he doesn’t bother now, he can’t expect her to bother in the future.

Doesn't he want to take her out - cinema, restaurants, theatre etc?

Does he take you out OP?

At 18 my dh spent a lot of time with our dd but that was because he was constantly driving her places . Some long journeys like back to university after the weekend.They would stop for lunch or coffee so lots of nice times. Does he even end up driving her places so they have that time together? God help him in his old age if he doesnt get a move on!

There has been 2 threads almost identical to this, recently. But started off based around the fathers birthday and the teen not wanting to go. But then evolved into mentioning that the father would never do anything with the dd and the dd wasnt happy about it.

It might be worth seraching fot them as there was loads of good advice.

I would say the same as I did on those. He hasnt been a good parent and is still checked out. She is telling both of you she is unhappy with this and trying to change it. He isnt interested. Which makes him a dick.