To not want antidepressants

[StatesOfMind]

Ok I know it’s not aibu as such but I need advice quickly so posted here for traffic.

Please take it easy on me here.
I am suffering depression, to the point where I can’t work because I am so very low.

I have been seeing a counsellor for a few months about my abusive mother but it’s the last couple of weeks that have been really bad.

I feel like there is no way forward to being happy again besides antidepressants and I am so desperate not to take them.

I’m not joking when I say very nearly every single person I know has been on them at some point.
I’m terrified they will alter my behaviour or emotions and make me - not me iyswim.

I know these are old (and uninformed) ways of thinking but I see my brother who’s been on really heavy antidepressants for 7 years now and my parents have both been on them long term so I worry I’ll be stuck on pills forever!

Im hoping the vast MN knowledge here can reassure me and maybe tell me if there a low level antidepressant I can take short term?

Is it possible to recover from depression without medication?
If I do take medication will it ‘cure’ it for good?

Sorry for my ignorance here, I really don’t know much. And thanks for any replies!

Can I see a psychiatrist on the nhs? (Absolutely no chance of me affording to see a private one!)

To see a psychiatrist, you’ll need a referral from your GP to the Community Mental Health Team.

ADs have actually made me be myself - not the scared confused one hidebound by depression and anxiety. If you had a physical infection, wouldn't you take an antibiotic?

Depression infects your whole life.

I have been on SSRIs for almost 10 years on and off and quite honestly say they changed my life for the better. I never knew I could be as happy as I have been this last decade. Normal happy too, not numb happy.

Good luck OP x

Counsellor sounds like an arse!

Your choice but ad's have kept me out of hospital!

I also have OCD and resisting meds is part of it, very common because we NEED to feel we are COMPLETELY In control - which of course we're not because nobody is.

They don't change your personality or 'dose you up' like tranqs do (which I've also had at points). Plus you can try different ones - there's loads - till you find the ones that suit you.

No they don't all have same side effects plus side effects wear off.

In addition - cbt didn't work for me either - there are OTHER therapies that can help, I use ACT and mindfulness and do yoga and meditation too.

Pm if you'd like to talk further more privately.

Oh and I'm on an older style ad not an ssri (they make me worse)

I took AD for 6 months to help me get back on my feet when I was much younger, many years later not needed them, but considering getting some for a small periode now as I can not lift myself proper back up after a nightmare that lasted 2 years, been a year now since things started to calm down. If it does not work you can stop, with guidance from your gp as some of them needs to be gradually reduced over a set time. My family works within these things and AD is trail and error, to find the one that responds with you the best. They are not all the same and I believe that in some cases that making a goal to use it as a stepping stone may help avoid remaining on the medicine. I refused to stay on it longer then need be, keep with with it for about 2 months after I started feeling fine to make sure I was in a stable mood, I was very happy and all that after quitting the medication so it did work.

I'm a bit reluctant to comment on what your counsellor said, as he/she may have had a reason for saying that. How would you feel about challenging them on why they feel that you should wait before starting?

states Have you had your annual physical this year? Have you been checked for any deficiencies like B12, Iron, thyroid issues, vitamin D? I ask this because all of those can make you feel very depressed and very tired and even dizzy.

FWIW I have suffered severe depression, discovered a lot of it was caused by severe undiagnosed anaemia, but mostly that changing things in my life (going NC with abusive family members, finally ending marriage that was destroying me) are what has lifted it. I had tried AD over the years, but depression always came back due to not not fixing my unknown health problems and also not dealing with what was making me truly miserable.

I also found coming off the ADs really difficult, having severe REM rebound every time. It was so bad I was scared to go on them again. Like every time I went to sleep there was a circus in my head. Venlafaxine was the absolute worst and I was on a low dose. I know people who want to quit Venlafaxine and can't because it's like coming off of hard drugs -- they feel so ill for weeks. Other people don't seem affected, I don't know why it's so different for everyone.

Also - I do understand about your abusive mother situation. I am not trying to ignore that by saying about the health stuff. My mother lives around the corner from me, with my abusive alcoholic father and my older brother who used to beat me up and threaten to kill my all through my teenage years. I have to walk past ignoring them. So I get it and I'm not being flippant saying check your health too.

What I really meant was invest in your own self care to help yourself overall.

Ugh - I think I am a thread killer.....

SSRI's are really unobtrusive for most people. I would do what your heart tells you, though. If you are not happy taking pills then you won't be happy full stop.

I refused and suffered for 5 years....what a waste...took them and 8mths on I am much happier and see and point xx