To not want antidepressants

[StatesOfMind]

Ok I know it’s not aibu as such but I need advice quickly so posted here for traffic.

Please take it easy on me here.
I am suffering depression, to the point where I can’t work because I am so very low.

I have been seeing a counsellor for a few months about my abusive mother but it’s the last couple of weeks that have been really bad.

I feel like there is no way forward to being happy again besides antidepressants and I am so desperate not to take them.

I’m not joking when I say very nearly every single person I know has been on them at some point.
I’m terrified they will alter my behaviour or emotions and make me - not me iyswim.

I know these are old (and uninformed) ways of thinking but I see my brother who’s been on really heavy antidepressants for 7 years now and my parents have both been on them long term so I worry I’ll be stuck on pills forever!

Im hoping the vast MN knowledge here can reassure me and maybe tell me if there a low level antidepressant I can take short term?

Is it possible to recover from depression without medication?
If I do take medication will it ‘cure’ it for good?

Sorry for my ignorance here, I really don’t know much. And thanks for any replies!

My DH drives for a living and is currently on ADs (Citalopram?) with no issues whatsoever. He had a different one to start with which made him contstantly hungry and whilst it helped him sleep, he gets on better with whateve he is on now.

I think it has saved our relationship as it's obviously vastly helped his mood but also the fact that he is doing something about it rather than just expecting me and DSs to put up with it.

He was also very nervous about going on medication and has had depressive episodes for many years. Most of them were short term and he felt that he could get out of them himself. This time it was going on for longer and he was feeling worse and couln't see him getting out by himself.

Don't underestimate the impact that your mental health has on your partner regardless of how supportive he is. But you need to sort this for yourself mainly and I really don't see what harm trying ADs would do. Give them a decent chance though.

DH is still DH, he just says that it makes him feel less anxious and more in control of what is happening. He's not a zombie, he still enjoys stuff but is definitely more approachable and even tempered.

Antidepressants affect different people in different ways so there's little point getting names of individual ones that have helped others. Some have dizziness to begin with but you'll be fine driving.

I have never wanted to take antidepressants before, I was very clear about that. This year I have had an emergence of a long term depression that has sat pretty close to the surface for most of my life. I fell apart, and I still resolved not to take antidepressants.. until, the point when I had no resolve left and I felt panicky and that I had failed at everything and then I accepted the antidepressants and the therapy that I had been attending beforehand was able to meet me at a far deeper level.
A few months down the line and I am slowly coming off the antidepressants, life isn't back to normal, I have no real idea what normal is, but something has shifted. I have good days and bad days, and I am not working now either and that does worry me, but I wake up in the morning and I am interested in a new day, I don't fear it anymore, and that to me, is wonderful.
If I return to that horrible, scary place I will take antidepressants again. I was on quite a low dose, but I needed them, I needed to reach out for help, I needed to acknowledge I was ok and to really feel how bad a state I was in before anything could change..
Good luck with your decision whatever you decide to do OP.

Just take them. Not sure what the issue with them is tbh. If they really change your behaviour more than the depression is then do you really think 1000s of people would be taking them or they’d be prescribed?

Those who advocate St John’s Wort; be very careful. Because it’s not a standardised dose, it completely depends on how much you’re having on where you get it from. It also interacts with other medications, notably the contraceptive pill. People think because you get it from suoermarkets and health food shops that you don’t have to be careful; you certainly do.
I’d rather take my chance with Citalopram.

Not dizziness for me, but for the first week or so on citalopram I get nausea and extreme tiredness, so driving wouldn't be great with that. Different people respond differently to each drug, though there shouldn't be long term side serious effects, and if there are, you can switch to try a different drug. Talk to your doctor about what they're prescribing and if they need to sign you off work for a few days they will.

Another vote for ADs. I was against them for years due to a family member living in the USA and being over medicated (not really rational but how I felt at the time). I hit a real low point, then when I came out of it and could see it for what it was I thought I never want to feel like that again. So I started a low dose to feel more stable, which is exactly what happened. Since then I've been on high doses, low doses and had periods off them. I've had 2 children. I'm on them now, not because of any crisis just because I wasn't feeling myself. I've become more able to detect it now and I'm more cautious since having kids - I don't want it to get to a point where it's really bad. They won't change you, they will (hopefully) make you yourself again.

Op, I'm not saying this is the only answer and if you need to take AD's take them but just wanted to mention the name Eckhart Tolle, he spent many years in depression, some of it suicidal depression. He has lots of videos on Youtube. Best wishes.

I'm on a "light" so to speak version.

Amitripiline an older one more commonly used as a painkiller, I was changed to it (by the mental health team) when I got pregnant and I've been stable coming up three years now.

I've been on a lot of AD's and AP's over the years (I have bi-polar as well as anxiety) I've never found my personality changed on AD's just the fog seemed to lift.

It's a very personal thing medication, I accepted years ago I was going to be on them for life but I can completely understand people not wanting that.

I've said this before on here but personally I found having anxiety much worse then bi-polar, it's a bastard to shake off.

Antidepressants affect different people in different ways so there's little point getting names of individual ones that have helped others.

I mentioned mine only to hopefully help show that a wide variety work for people, so the OP doesn't necessarily need to worry that she initially gets given something other than a single one mentioned by one or two people here.

Completely see where you’re coming from, because I felt the same way for a long time, but you have to weigh the risks of taking the
ADs (which you’ve listed) against the risks of not taking them.

These are easy to ignore, because one tends to assume that if you don’t do something you’ll maintain the status quo. But just like “physical” illnesses (which of course they are, because the brain is part of a body) mental illness can be progressive and get worse. This is sometimes called a kindling effect. You could think of depression as being a bit like an inflammatory illness where inflammation breeds inflammation and the whole cycle can easily worsen. But, conversely, if you can ‘break’ the pattern then you can start recovering.

There’s also a more obviously psychological aspect. When you’re depressed for a long time without remission, even if it’s only mild, you can get into negative patterns of thinking (ruminating, assuming people don’t like you etc) and behaviours (eg overeating, smoking — the body likes to seek out chemical fixes, and often ones that are much more harmful than SSRIs) that then become hard to break even when at a chemical level you’re feeling better. You also miss out on opportunities so your life is objectively worse than it would have been if you’d never been depressed in the first place. Which is very unfair and rather depressing! So then if something else changes again, it is easier to slip back in to a deeper depression than the one you were faced with originally.

So don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I think it would be worth giving them a try.

I'm in a similar situation but have been on many antidressants before ( I have tried most of them) and I hate being on them. I can usually manage my depression and anxiety in other ways but at the moment my anxiety is quite bad. A lot of people have good expereances with taking them so I would suggest trying them, for me I had a lot of side effects and one was weight gain and increased apatite, gaining weight made me feel more low so I came off of them.

But your already not yourself. I was on depressants and they didn't change I went back to myself. I wasnt myself when I had depression. If I ever get it again I will without a doubt go on them again.

Antidepressants affect different people in different ways

Sorry missed that, completely true of course.

Only mentioned the amitripiline with it not being a commonly prescribed one.

Completely understand your feelings. I had PTSD and anti depressants were strongly advised. I refused and instead was provided with CBT therapy and I am now a lot better. If you don’t want them don’t have them x

I'm not a fan (who is really a fan of any medication? We'd all prefer not to need to take anything), but will say they helped a me a lot. You may have to try a few different ones - just remember that really, if you're not liking the side-effects you can try a different one.

Prozac and Sertraline were not for me, Venlafaxine was. I took it for a while then came off and was ok. I've managed to avoid taking them since by being vigilant and aware of my mental health and doing things that make me feel better rather worse, but would go back on them if needed. At the moment it's the anxiety that is the problem so I'm on betablockers.

Sometimes therapy is just too hard if you’re very unwell. Sometimes you need antidepressants to get to a place where you can deal with it; therapy can be very difficult.

I would say - what have you got to lose? What have you got to gain?

Antidepressants apparently help a awful lot of people!
They did bugger all for me (except give me some weird side effects) to the point where during my second inpatient admission in a year my psychiatrist said they clearly weren't helping, so stopped all my meds (and there was a lot 🙄). Therapy with an amazing clinical psychologist is what saved me. But can't get that on NHS anyway.

I'd say take them, give them a go for 6 weeks. If they help, then great; if they don't, then at least you've tried. And sometimes the knowledge that you're doing something positive to change your situation can help in itself.

My counsellor is somewhat against them, wants me to wait a few weeks.

Said that short term pain (of not taking antidepressants) is a greater long term gain and it’s better for you to recover from this on your own if you can.

Also that antidepressants may make me feel better but it’s masking where the problems come from so it’s better to deal with those with counselling.

But did stress that it was my decision to make with my DH and GP and would support me if I went onto them.

I’m feeling a little bit lost here.

When I was younger I was prescribed them and put them in the chemist and never went back for them, I had exactly the same fears as you.

Roll on 10 years and I went on citalopram after a very low point in my life. I was only on them 4 months when I fell pregnant and came off them, but I had no intention of staying on them long term anyway.

I found they really did help, even in that short period of time, and I'm currently undergoing counselling for a similar issue to you.

Look at it this way. If you break your leg, you wear a cast short term to help with the healing process until you're ready to remove the cast. Antidepressants can be used in a similar way. They just allow you time to get better with a crutch.

I'm on AD's and have been on them most of my life, but I know other people who were just on them for a shorter period- 6 months or a year or 2.

I don't like taking them. I started in my v late teens. Before that I had spent years very depressed/in hospital (psychiatrist was rightly completely anti drugs for kids). Being put on the correct anti depressant (after a couple of ones that weren't right) literally revolutionised my life.

TBH if you cannot work due to depression then maybe it's time to try AD's. What have you got to lose? They won't sort out your abuse- you'll still need counselling, but you might be able to deal with everyday life a bit better.

...TBH I think your counsellor is talking bullshit.

If you are getting the physical sides of depression e.g. not sleeping/eating issues/concentration issues/inappropriate crying or snapping then it's NOT better to just try and get through it. AD's don't make you 'happy' and able to gloss over things.

I'm on sertraline and it sits up those negative voices in my head.ive had no side effects at all. Came off it for a while and the voices started again

Dangermouse, I think I agree. Although my head is a bit of a mess atm, I can’t seem to think straight about this!

I don’t know what your counsellor is playing at here; it just proves the point that plenty of them shouldn’t be doing it.