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AIBU?

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Original poster

Parent phones in sick for their DD at work. AIBU to think this is silly?

159 replies

AppleBananaCarrot · 15/10/2017 12:32

I don't understand why my manager allows it. I'm a supervisor btw. I have name changed for very obvious reasons.

The woman is almost 19! I could slightly understand if she was 16 (although I'd still expect her to do it) it's in our policy that you can't get someone else to phone up and on the 3 occasions she has been sick (over last couple of years) it's always her mother that has phoned in, I asked my manager and he said that the DD was on a drug that makes her tired, so she couldn't get to the phone, but really? If my husband phoned in and said that, I think they'd life and tell him to put me on the phone.

OP posts:
Marmite27 · 15/10/2017 20:19

Oh and my mum took over a call once, I’d tried to call in but I was delirious and kept going on about hippos stealing cucumbers Hmm

I had a cuddly hippo and a cucumber sandwich on my desk on my return to work Grin

RuncibleSp00n · 15/10/2017 20:20

I had to call in sick for my DH during a psychiatric breakdown. It’s totally unreasonable to expect someone who can no longer remember how to put their shoes on to know how to successfully work their mobile and have a coherent conv with their line manager.

BigMumma1245 · 15/10/2017 20:28

I already said that the policy is to call in sick yourself unless you're in hospital, so why keep bringing that up?
No you didn't.

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2017 21:07

I have far more time for supervisors who use a modicum of common sense to judge situations on their own merit

That's lovely, I'm sure. However, when there's a clear policy in place a supervisor making it up as they go along, rather than following said policy, isn't going to last very long.

Mammylamb · 15/10/2017 21:22

Apple. Are you the woman's direct line manager? Did her mother call into you or your manager? If your manager, why on earth would you be disciplined?

starfishmummy · 15/10/2017 21:49

I'd love.to know how I was suposedmto call in for myself when I had lost my voice. My manager wasn't very pleased but I could still barely speak a week later.
There was no option given to send a text.or email.

Ereshkigal · 15/10/2017 21:54

At my work we just email in. This stops the entire charade of the "sick voice".

Yes, mine too.

sayyouwill · 15/10/2017 22:03

My team know that I won't accept that.
If I don't get a phone call from that person then it goes down as an unauthorised absence. The only allowances are hospitalisation or physically unable to produce words. I work in a hotel so 24/7 business, I'm usually oncall so I have my work phone on constantly and will take calls at any time so there is no excuse.
The only time I had someone else speak for me was when I was in labour but even then I rang the phone but had a contraction so DH took it off me to let them know.

IamImportantToo · 15/10/2017 22:13

I think you don’t like this colleague. So what if her Mum calls in? She is 18, lives at home and takes medication. Your boss has no problem but you just cant let it go. Posting on here is going to do what? Make you feel smug and proved correct? Make your colleague a better person? Get you a promotion to CEO? Or do you just not like her? Maybe she is lazy? Maybe she is lying? Maybe her mum is a right lying cow? So what. How will this change if she calls in sick not her mum?

I had this issue once. Mu mum called in sick for me because i couldn’t get out of bed. I was 18 and my bosses wife did not believe me and made me do all the shitty jobs the next day. I didn’t realise why. Eventually i asked if i had upset her and she accused me of getting my mum to call in sick when I wasn’t ill. I said i was ill but didn’t argue with her or take the issue any further. She didn’t believe me and wasn’t going to change her mind.

Thing is, i was actually in bed unable to get out. I was having a anxiety attack on and off through the day. The anti-depressants i had been prescribed needed to be increased in dose. That day i just kept reliving the recent rape i had gone through and could not leave the house or my bedroom.

But yeah. To my boss and colleagues i was a feckless, lazy, lying teen. They asked why i got my mum to call in and didn’t call in myself. I didn’t explain. I let them think what they wanted and crumpled a little more inside.

You have been told she is on medication. Your boss doesn’t have a problem. Stop being a bitch and look at why you are being so judgemental towards her.

Belleoftheball8 · 15/10/2017 22:19

I phoned in for dh as he had severe tonsillitis and could nearly speak. I was also pregnant and woke up with severe pains and I was send straight to the pregnancy day unit and my auntie called into work to explain the situation I had a really severe kidney infection. It depends on the situation at the time.

SelenaValentina · 15/10/2017 22:19

Strewth, times have changed - glad I'm retired reading all this.

In the dark ages in my local authority, if you were well enough to phone in sick yourself, you were well enough to be at work. If there was a no-show, someone from Personnel (those were the days) tried to get in touch, with police involvement if no reply.

Voice0fReason · 15/10/2017 23:40

I'm very impressed with these managers who are able to diagnose illness over the phone. Why else would it be so vital that the employee themselves must phone and speak to the correct person?

When my DH had been up all night throwing up and finally fell asleep at 6am, the last thing I was going to do was wake him up at 9am to get him to phone in sick! It made far more sense for me to phone in on his behalf. He has done the same for me in the past.

Absurd meaningless policies that just shout we really don't trust you at all.

MistressDeeCee · 16/10/2017 02:29

Why is there an expectation from you that if someone is sick, they must phone in themself? Maybe they're in bed trying to recover, or sleeping /resting it off, so they can't get to the phone. What on earth is your issue? If someone's not coming in and work needs to be covered then at least you know, don't you? Do you own the company? As if managers are fine with it then I really don't see your point at all

NikiBabe · 16/10/2017 02:33

My mum did it for me in my 30s once. I couldnt get out of bed & couldn't face talking to the bitch of an hr manager who would give me hell for daring to be ill.

What the fuck is it to you op?

TurquoiseChevrotain · 16/10/2017 02:46

This is my work's policy too. I'm 18. My mum phones in for me Grin no one gives a shit. The team leader answers the phone says that's fine and no one cares. OP, I have read your posts though and realise you'd be disciplined, that's the issue...

JCo24 · 16/10/2017 03:27

Jesus Christ OP... I think you need to take a step down from your super high up role of supervisor... the power trip is going to your head.

I have called in sick for my boyfriend, who is a health care professional. They were just happy to have been informed!

I suggest a spa day. Chill. Out.

Ploppie4 · 16/10/2017 04:54

I have visions of trying to phone my boss while hanging in to the loo throwing up. It isn’t a pretty idea. Sure he’d rather not hear that.

EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck · 16/10/2017 05:08

Once you leave primary school you phone in sick yourself. I used to work in a call centre. I got laryngitis. I rang in and croaked down the phone. They saw my point that I'd be as useful as a chocolate fireguard. 😂

buttfacedmiscreant · 16/10/2017 05:12

I called in for DS one time because he had lost his voice and when he tried to talk it hurt really bad. His manager was pissy even when I explained why I was calling for him.

maddiemookins16mum · 16/10/2017 07:02

Putting aside all the stories of tubes down throats etc, it sounds as if possibly she's 'nervous' of phoning in. I hated phoning in sick with one manager I had, it was awful and I had 4 days off sick in the 9 years she was my manager. Now her mum has done it once (and if this is over a couple of years then she'd maybe have been 17 the first time).

I don't think YABU, but I'd really try not to get so pissed off about it because it's really not worth it.

Puppymouse · 16/10/2017 08:00

If I can't make it in I WhatsApp or text my boss. Usually WhatsApp as our team is on a group and it allows everyone else to see and we can just call out anything that needs picking up that day. Maybe I'm lucky it isn't more formal...

midnightmisssuki · 16/10/2017 08:07

Yes YABU. Do you know her circumstance? You already know she's medicated - and the drug makes her tired - maybe even knocks her out, why is her mum calling in this instance a problem? I find your (writing tone) a bit mean. When I was pregnant I was bedridden for months and had drugs so strong that I barely saw daylight to help with my HG. My husband had to call in. Thank goodness I don't have supervisors so unsympathetic like you.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 16/10/2017 08:18

My team know that I won't accept that. If I don't get a phone call from that person then it goes down as an unauthorised absence

Gosh. I bet that makes you feel Very Important.

It's not how I get my kicks, but hey ho.

user1485342611 · 16/10/2017 10:17

There are some really ridiculous posts on here. If someone is throwing up, delirious, running a really high temperature, or is in hospital waiting to be admitted do you seriously think they are in a position to start making phone calls to work.

When I started working many years ago, it was perfectly normal for a parent, spouse or flatmate to ring up on someone's behalf.

As for the person whose 'team know that I won't accept that' - seriously, get off your power kick and develop a bit of common sense. And I say that as a Manager with many years experience.

brasty · 16/10/2017 10:34

Doesn't matter what you think, it is the policy in some very big organisations.

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