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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asleep since 8pm AIBU

46 replies

sooperdooper · 14/10/2017 21:08

Proper pissed off, just need to rant really - for context no dc but starting ivf soon

Today DH was meeting friends for some drinks & to watch some football, dropped him at train at 10am & picked him up at 5pm.

Spent most of my day doing housework.

We had an understanding of spending tonight together, watch some daft telly, a few drinks

He went upstairs to watch the end of another match when he came in, then fell asleep, I'm on my own with bottle of wine, shit tv bored

I was offered tix to go out with a friend who isn't in town often but said no, mostly because he kicked off at me about a week ago cos he said I was out too much & I thought we were having a night together

AIBU for reading him the riot act tomorrow?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/10/2017 21:15

Why didn't you just nudge him awake and remind him about the evening you'd both planned?

Ontheboardwalk · 14/10/2017 21:27

Did you try to wake him?

Is he used to daytime drinking? Does he do it a lot or was it a one off?

Original poster
sooperdooper · 14/10/2017 21:27

Tried that twice, got a grunt

OP posts:
cantthinkofanythingwitty · 14/10/2017 21:29

Sounds like you just want to make an issue out of nothing.
You could just wake him up but instead you would rather just whine and bitch about him on the internet

PurpleDaisies · 14/10/2017 21:30

Just wake him up. Confused

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 14/10/2017 21:33

Read him the riot act?
Grown adult not a child.

3 choices
1- wake him up
2- go meet your friend
3- enjoy your own company

stopbeingadramallama · 14/10/2017 21:35

Why don’t you just text you friend and go and meet her?

Original poster
sooperdooper · 14/10/2017 21:42

I've been up to try and wake him up x 3 times, each time said what time it is, is he going to get up, he's said no/in a bit/etc etc

I'm quite happy with my own company if that's what my plans had been

Too late to meet my friend now, they've given the ticket to someone else when I said I couldn't go

OP posts:
SheGotOffThePlane · 14/10/2017 21:44

OMG I don't get the previous responses. I'd be fucking raging OP, especially as he had previously making a hoo ha about me going out.
I would be getting my mascara and heels on and going out.

bastardkitty · 14/10/2017 21:44

Just crack on with going out whenever you're invited.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 14/10/2017 21:45

He had been drinking for 5 hours? Yeah I'd be sleeping too. Bit ambitious to expect anything from him after that. Have a night together next week. Can't believe you're talking about reading him the riot act! Adult man has early night. It's hardly noteworthy! Are you newly married?

QuiteLikely5 · 14/10/2017 21:49

Arghh couldn't get het up over this - what did you expect after a day of boozing?

Next time don't change your plans for a bloke especially if he's gonna be on the booze all day!

Penfold007 · 14/10/2017 21:49

Are you really sure this is the man you want to go through IVF with?

RideOn · 14/10/2017 21:50

I'd be glad I could pick the TV choices and spend sometime with him another evening. YABU

NameChange30 · 14/10/2017 21:50

"I was offered tix to go out with a friend who isn't in town often but said no, mostly because he kicked off at me about a week ago cos he said I was out too much & I thought we were having a night together"

Double standards - he goes out with his friends but doesn't like it when you do the same

You did the housework - is it always you who does it or does he do his share?

A couple of possible red flags right there. If he often goes out and expects you to stay home doing the housework, that's not fair and not a healthy dynamic in the relationship. Why would you want children with someone who doesn't pull their weight, doesn't want you to have a social life, and doesn't prioritise quality time with you?

permatiredmum · 14/10/2017 21:53

Let him sleep.It's not his job to entertain you!

NameChange30 · 14/10/2017 21:56

Also I expect there is a lot more to this... people are just going to judge on this one example which by itself is no big deal, but a few things in your post suggest that it's part of a pattern in the relationship and a bigger problem. If I'm right and you want actual advice as opposed to a bunch of people posting to say YABU, I suggest you post in the Relationships section with a few more examples of concerns you have.

ReanimatedSGB · 14/10/2017 21:58

How often do you go out and how often does he go out? How much domestic work does he do, and how much do you do? If the balance is in his favour (he gets more outings and less than his share of domestic work) then it's probably well worth rethinking whether you want to stay in the relationship.

MargaretTwatyer · 14/10/2017 21:59

So he's really tired?

AmysTiara · 14/10/2017 22:02

YABU he's entitled to have a sleep. But i don't like him moaning about you going out.

SilverySurfer · 14/10/2017 22:10

I'm having difficulty understanding why you are thinking of having ivf with someone who obviously doesn't make you happy. Why would you do that?

ShoesHaveSouls · 14/10/2017 22:22

I expect he's drunker than he would own up to, OP.

But HIBU to get annoyed about you going out, and then go upstairs, watch a match and fall asleep.

Next time, just go out - and remind him of tonight if he kicks off about it.

AdalindSchade · 14/10/2017 22:25

What a selfish knob!
He kicked off at you for spending too much time out meaning you turned down an offer to see an old friend on the basis that you would spend the evening together - and he went out and got pissed?! Dick.
Those of you suggesting she wakes him up - what for? He's pissed. He wants to sleep. That's not the type of company the op expected or wants.

Neuroticwoman · 14/10/2017 22:30

I have to say in your position I would be annoyed. However, I wouldn't be in that position. We have 2 dc so likely I would appreciate having evening to myself after kids in bed. If I didn't I would just ignore his objections and go out - as pp have said, it's unlikely he would be awake after a day of drinking.
In fact I am on the sofa in my pjs with a glass of wine relishing my husband's absence!

Ohwell14 · 14/10/2017 22:31

Lol he fell asleep and people are saying you shouldn't go through IVF with him. People on here are crazy.
My dh falls asleep all the time after promising we will watch a film/have a cuddle.
Clearly I should of LTB years agoHmm