To think I don't have Aspergers?

[lilathewerewolf]

Hi all,

Not sure where to start with this but I'll do my best.

I recently got clean after many years of prescription drug and alcohol addiction, 90% of this is wonderful and I feel like I have my life back, however it has brought to light how much I was using substances to get me through even basic social interaction. I generally find it hard to empathise, am not emotionally demonstrative unless seriously intoxicated and tend to get away from other people as fast as possible as I either draw a completely uninterested blank or bang on inappropriately about something completely irrelevant to the conversation like the Reformation or, more recently, the GULAGS. I've mentioned this to my keyworker and she says she wants me to talk to my GP about the possibility of having Aspergers as to her it's 'obvious'. I have scored very highly on a supposedly trustworthy internet test for it but these can't be reckoned to carry the same weight as a 1 to 1 medical with a doctor surely.

I have good eye contact and can make small talk which I think counts against this idea. I can also switch on a convincing social persona to get me through interactions with people so I don't think it's obvious at all. I will admit to taking things incredibly literally at times and in an argument I will only focus on the exact words a person has used and not the feeling they were trying to convey which frustrates my partner as he feels I only care about taking his argument apart rather than listening to how he feels. I also admit to finding the whole 'feelings and talking about them' part of relationships exhausting. I am not particularly interested in sex. My mother is the same way emotionally so perhaps this is learned behaviour but I do sometimes feel like I have fundamental human experience parts missing.

I'm sure there are many people with experience of Autism spectrum conditions who post here and so I am asking what you think. Thank you.

Those of you who have had a private ASD assessment, can anyone recommend someone to see?

I have been unable to get an NHS referral.

OP your update makes you sound even more aspie than your original post!

But it's not compulsory to be tested anyway. I'm fighting to be assessed, up to you if you follow up. I don't expect anything to happen if I get a diagnosis - I'd just know

No way of knowing over the internet but you are not necessarily being unreasonable, no.

I could have written your original post. I use an eating disorder and prescription drugs to cope. I can't empathise and I find social interactions very difficult/anxiety inducing and sometimes even boring (although I can fake both empathy and sociability because I'm a good actress and I've taught myself the correct responses).

But I don't have aspergers. People assume I do sometimes but I don't.

Worth getting checked out by a GP if it's something that worries you but otherwise, I'd just brush off the comments and carry on with your new life. Congratulations of getting clean :)

The benefit of a diagnosis for me would be that it would feel like vindication, in a way. I've suspected I have ASD for six years so to have someone say definitively that I have it would be confirmation that I'm not mad for thinking it. Even if I didn't get a dx, they would hopefully be able to explain why I am the way I am and hopefully give me pointers as to where to go next. I'm also fairly young still so a dx would be useful for employers as they would have to put things in place for me.

My diagnosis has helped answer alit of questions and definitely worth it. Without it I doubted myself and thought I just wasn't trying hard enough. I can now accept wasn't just lazy or stupid but wired differently. Due to various difficulties having a diagnosis meant I had access to a charity that offered a support worker who has helped enormously. There isn't much support for adults but there is some.

Ps, I like the finding my tribe comment someone made. I like being odd but it's still nice to know there are others out there.

Embraces the quirks!