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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say no you can't

105 replies

mydecisionalone · 13/10/2017 14:18

Mumsnetters appear to be great advocates of personal choice and of the word "no" meaning simply that, so I'm hoping you will take the time to read this and stop doing something which far too many people do without, seemingly, caring about the consequences of their actions.

This may appear to be a minor irritant but it is something I feel very strongly about and I know I'm not alone - people posting images of my children on the Internet.

There are many reasons why this shouldn't happen.

A simple Google search will throw up plenty of forum posts, polls, advice, newspaper articles, research etc. If you want to learn more go have a look.

Want to know my reasons for not posting photos of my kids online? I'm not telling you! I'm not being enigmatic or mysterious, they are my kids, my choices and frankly none of your business.

Too often people argue "it's no big deal", "who cares", "I don't see the problem".

That's not good enough. It is a big deal to some people, they do care and just because you don't see the problem doesn't mean there isn't one.

Think about the last time you went to a party/gathering/event and posted pictures on sites such as Facebook afterwards. Did you ask all the parents there if they minded you putting photos that their kids were in online?

Do you use the argument that you've got great privacy settings?
Congratulations, you still shouldn't do it. Not your kids, not your choice.

I don't know your great aunt Mabel or Bob your second cousin. I don't know who they may choose to forward the photo onto and neither do you.

Think I should waste my precious time contacting internet sites to get photos taken down or calling individuals to ask them to remove photos?

Why on earth should I?!?

Not your kids. Not your choice to pop that piccy on Facebook with them in it.

There are kids across this country who, for very real safety reasons, must not be identified or their location alluded to.

Do you know whether that child sat next to your kid at the picnic is one of them? Are you willing to risk a child's safety simply because you want to put a cute photo online?

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
Please think before posting and set some boundaries. Common sense should surely suggest if they aren't your children you don't get to make decisions about them.

If you want to put photos of your children on the Internet then that's your decision but next time crop other people's kids out first.

Don't assume they won't mind or that it's no big deal.
There are lots of people who do mind - very, very much.

We shouldn't need to go to a party and announce to the assembled masses that we don't want you to do it or dress our kids in T-shirts emblazoned with a "no photo" slogan.

I shouldn't have to tell all and sundry not to do it. I shouldn't have to explain why either. They aren't your children so don't do it. Show some respect. Think!

A stranger knocks on your door tonight and asks to take a photo of your children...
Do you let them?

I can't imagine any of you saying yes to that but by posting photos of my children online without my permission you are letting strangers see and store pictures of the things most precious to me in the world and you do not have the right to do that - ever.

Please link this, comment, stick it on social media... Please spread the word that it's not okay to assume your choices are the same as everyone else's.

One person changing their actions might, at the least, save another from being upset or it might, potentially, stop something far, far worse from happening.

Thanks for reading and hopefully thinking.

Sent from my iPad

OP posts:
Firesuit · 14/10/2017 13:04

I have just found out how to use Googles image search feature. The best photo I have of the face of DD age 7 was dragged into the search box. None of the however many hundred people that came up on the first page were DD. Almost all the images were of adult women. (They did all have similar colour long hair though, so I can follow googles thinking, to a degree.)

stolemyusername · 14/10/2017 13:04

TL;DR I’m old enough to make my own choices about putting photos of my children online.

Littledrummergirl · 14/10/2017 13:07

I think I should tell the dc to stop posting pictures of me online.

Sent from my lounge.

SteampunkPrincess · 14/10/2017 13:11

Nothing to send from my microwave

Topseyt · 14/10/2017 14:19

Sending from my phone, at the side of the hockey pitch waiting for DD3's team to come out and play, with the dog curled up next to me. Smile

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