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AIBU?

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Original poster

'Real woman now'

72 replies

KissesAX · 13/10/2017 10:54

I've just seen a comment on Facebook to someone's pregnancy 'congratulations you're blooming with your pregnancy, you're becoming a real woman now'.

HmmConfused

AIB unreasonably over sensitive that this woman considers women who've not yet conceived or can't any less woman than people with a child? I'll find it hard seeing this person and speaking to her now, I don't have fertility issues (I'm aware of) but do want a baby soon and I'm actually hurt.

OP posts:
RoryItsSnowing · 13/10/2017 10:55

Bizarre comment, as well as completely ignorant and insensitive. Was the commenter of an older generation where stupid comments like that can be pretty standard?

DingleBerries · 13/10/2017 10:56

After I had my first baby my friend said to me 'you're a real woman now.'

I've never been able to forget it. I didn't like it and I wondered if it was a csection she would have said the same? She was hot on natural births and she knew it was my first so I don't think she would have done.

And any way, what a weird thing to say.

I was a real woman before I gave birth.

DingleBerries · 13/10/2017 10:57

I'm actually wondering if it's the same person.

Unless it's a common phrase to use?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/10/2017 10:57

That's a disgusting thing to say.
I pray someone with fertility issues does not see that.

That could really tip them over the edge. People struggling to conceive often feel inferior enough to pregnant women and those with children without idiots who clearly don't think before they speak or rather type

Original poster
KissesAX · 13/10/2017 10:57

She's late 20s with a toddler. It's a horrible comment

OP posts:
mintteaandbananabread · 13/10/2017 10:58

I don't think its common. Most people aren't that twatty.
It doesn't even mean anything.

Hollystyrene · 13/10/2017 10:58

Didn't Serena Williams say something similar after the birth of her first child?

HornyTortoise · 13/10/2017 10:58

Really really weird thing to say.

Someone actually said something kind of similar when I had DD> About being a real woman now that I gave birth naturally. I was very Hmm about it and asked wtf they were on about, and they couldn't explain at all and started spluttering and seemed to realise how ridiculous they had been.

formerbabe · 13/10/2017 10:58

Very strange thing to say. Never heard anyone say anything like that before.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/10/2017 10:58

What a flipping idiot.

Stupid insensitive cow.

I wonder if I'm half a woman for an EMCS baby?

Alison100199 · 13/10/2017 10:59

It's a thoughtless thing to write. As someone who has chosen not to have children it's frustrating. And I notice in your post you mention women who have not yet or who can't conceive. Seems like you are also dividing women into groups in relation to whether they can or want to conceive not that they might decide not to.

GretchenFranklin · 13/10/2017 10:59

she's an idiot

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/10/2017 10:59

Mind you I don't think it is a case of not thinking. I think they knew exactly what they were doing

SleepingStandingUp · 13/10/2017 11:01

LIFESTYLE
Serena Williams Slammed For Saying Giving Birth Will Make Her A 'Real Woman'
'I can't give birth so I'm not a real woman?'
10 August 2017 | Updated 10 August 2017

Rachel Moss Reporter at HuffPost UK.

Serena Williams has come under fire for suggesting giving birth to her first born will allow her to become a “real woman”.

In a recent interview with Australian newspaper the Herald Sun, the tennis star said: “I have so much respect for so many women [for giving birth].

“I am about to be a real woman now, you know? It’s going to be something incredibly impressive to go through.”

The athlete, whose due date is fast approaching, was slammed by many on Twitter who pointed out that you don’t have to have a baby to be a “real woman”.

theymademejoin · 13/10/2017 11:01

I thought it was my XY chromosomes that made me a woman!

I think it's really sad for the woman who made the comment. If her sense of self and her self-worth are so caught up in her children, she will really struggle as they grow up and try to build independent lives. I suspect she may struggle to give them that independence too.

Original poster
KissesAX · 13/10/2017 11:02

@Alison100199 I'm not dividing anyone. I'm saying women who have not yet had like myself and women who are unable through the traditional route. Yes, women who have chose not to could also be offended. But you're just looking to start an argument.

OP posts:
Malaco · 13/10/2017 11:03

My mil made a comment like this when I had dd1. She lives with her childless daughter who i assume she doesn't think is a real woman. Confused Strange

mintteaandbananabread · 13/10/2017 11:05

I thought it was my XY chromosomes that made me a woman!

That would make you a man.

BakerCandlestickmaker · 13/10/2017 11:06

I'm pretty old and spent a lot of time around older women growing up, many of whom didn't hold back from holding forth.

Never heard anyone say this.

You are unfortunate op in the people you come across.

I

FooFighter99 · 13/10/2017 11:09

Call her out on it. I would! cos I'm hard faced!!!

Comment back something along the lines of: "So, correct me if I'm wrong, but you think only those who've had children are 'real women'? Pray tell what does that make those who are unable to have or do not want children? Fakes?"

Stupid fucking ignorant cow

theymademejoin · 13/10/2017 11:09

@mintteaandbananabread - you're right Blush

My only excuse is I haven't had any coffee yet and I'm multi-tasking. Wouldn't mind if x and y were even beside one another on the keyboard, and I could claim my finger slipped! Autocorrect error maybe..................

DeadEnders · 13/10/2017 11:10

I thought it was my XY chromosomes that made me a woman!

That would make you a man.

Grin
Alison100199 · 13/10/2017 11:15

Kisses I am not looking to start an argument so I am sorry if it looked like I was. I was simply making the point that the child free have to put up with these sorts of remarks all the time and can be just as hurt as someone struggling to conceive.

liz70 · 13/10/2017 11:23

Nah, she's talking out of her real woman's arse.

StepAwayFromCake · 13/10/2017 11:24

Giving birth made me feel like a real woman. It felt like the most female thing I could ever do. It felt like a graduation into adult womanhood and the biggest positive affirmation possible.

To me.

For me.

My feeling that way had absolutely nothing to do with any other woman, and I would never dream of telling another woman that she should or shouldn't feel that way.

And giving birth certainly doesn't make me more of a woman, or a better woman, or a real-er woman, any more than having short hair, trousers, no heels or makeup, or any interest in them, make me less of a woman.