Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

ARRRRRRRRGH

52 replies

cjt110 · 13/10/2017 08:10

Toddlers. Fucking ARGHHHHH! Having a shit time lately and each morning and evening is a battle. Had enough of this shit!

OP posts:

ditzychick34 · 13/10/2017 08:21

Can I arrgghhh with you please?

Ockljkclr · 13/10/2017 08:22

Teenagers. Fucking ARGHHHHH! Having a shit time lately and each morning and evening is a battle. Had enough of this shit! Sorry! Bad morning here too 😁

Original poster

cjt110 · 13/10/2017 08:31

Ditzy Crack on...

Ockljkclr It gets no easier then?

Hi all,

I'm sorry if I ramble here, but I just can't think straight at the moment.

My 3 yo DS is a cranky, miserable child...ALL THE TIME. He has been like this for as long as I can remember. Although he was a reasonably good baby, from around 12 months things have gone downhill. They've spiralled downwards even more so in the last few months in particular, which have been unbearable. I can't think of any reason for this other than him being a toddler.

It seems he is hardly ever happy anymore (that is, unless he's doing something like eating junk food or destroying something/making a mess). I just don't know what to do anymore, his constant whinging, crying, screaming, clinging etc is wearing me down so much. He always wants to be picked up and carried around, and if I don't he follows me pulling at my clothes screaming "Mummy I want you!!!!!" and gets hysterical sometimes. Most of the time, even if I pick him up or sit down with him on my lap, the whinging and crying continues. It seems I just can't settle him anymore.

He goes to a nursery 3 days a week and is with my parents 2 days a weelk. At nursery they say he's fine. At my parents he can be the same as he is with me.

I'm sure I'm a big part of the problem becausewhenevr I;m out he's fine. But the minute I got in the door, it was on, and he is often in fine form and starts his usual crying, whinging etc. Its like he knows how to get my attention, but the thing is, he gets my attention. Undivided. we play, we read stories etc

Bedtime is another drama. Usually he will protest at getting changed, washing, brushing teeth. Last night I had to physcially peel him out of his clothes and put him in the bath because he needed a bath. All done with hysterics. He was given the chance to do these things himself or with my help but just flew into a rage. Then bedtimes are a battle getting him to stay in bed. I have to read to him and sit with him until he falls asleep.

I've mentioned it to a couple of GP's but have been met with the usual "its 3 year olds etc" and basically been brushed off.

Anyway, I'm sure you get the picture by now. I'm so sorry for the very long post, I just had to write everything down to get it out. If anyone can offer me some advice or even if you want to share your feral, miserable toddler stories it might make me feel like I'm not the only one raising a misery guts.

Thanks

OP posts:

picklemepopcorn · 13/10/2017 08:32

Strangely, when you look back on it you will remember gorgeous sticky smiles and giggles, and it will feel like it went in a flash.

It's only while you are living it that it feels like a life sentence!

picklemepopcorn · 13/10/2017 08:33

Drat. Bad timing. Sorry.

Original poster

cjt110 · 13/10/2017 08:35

picklemepopcorn Yeah. lol. Im literally at the end of my tether with it all. Same shit different day.

OP posts:

picklemepopcorn · 13/10/2017 08:36

My DS1 was a challenge in other ways. REALLY naughty. He's a delightful 21 yr old now, and we never had a moments teen trouble. I reckon our relationship was forged in fire in the early days! And I made so many mistakes I look back on with horror now.

Hang in there. Try and stay calm and loving. Don't react to the drama, at all, not even a bit. Just calm calm calm even though you are screaming inside.

picklemepopcorn · 13/10/2017 08:37

I only cleaned his teeth once a week because it involved pinning him on the floor and prying open his mouth. I really did try every other way- he was not having it!

picklemepopcorn · 13/10/2017 08:39

Make your life a bit easier by reorganising and prioritising. If he hates bathing, only bath him if he really needs it. Give him a scrub with a flannel puppet occasionally instead.

Original poster

cjt110 · 13/10/2017 08:39

Yes teeth cleaning is my issue too.

I would just love, for once, for him to wake up and be happy. It's not a lot to ask for surely?

OP posts:

Sarahh2014 · 13/10/2017 08:40

Me too!! My 3 yr old son has just had a psycho tantrum..BEFORE my morning caffeine

JuniUmiZoomi · 13/10/2017 08:41

With the clinginess, I've had a bit of success with asking her for cuddles when she's in the middle of something - playing/watching telly etc. My DD has gone through a very clingy phase (v unusual for her) and me asking her A LOT seems to have helped her feel a bit more secure. Good luck!

Original poster

cjt110 · 13/10/2017 08:48

Exactly what we do Pickle. Last night, when I managed to get him out of his clothes, he must have pooed in his nappy at nursery and when they had cleaned him up, perhaps not done the best job as I could smell poo. He has a bath once a week because of his sheer hatred

OP posts:

Ellendegeneres · 13/10/2017 08:50

I want to chime in for the arghhhh because my 1yr old is testing the boundaries and has discovered his screamy scream which goes on for hours. Screams cause he wants to be down, screams as soon as you put him down to be picked up. There is actually no pleasing him

MoosicalDaisy · 13/10/2017 09:04

He's 21 and i'm going ARGHHH more than ever

TheSnowFairy · 13/10/2017 09:13

Can I join?

15 year old DS1 coming up for GCSEs. He gets most aggrieved when I suggest his phone constantly going off is not helping and that I will be removing his phone to help him concentrate. Turn it OFF!

Every bloody night

AAAAAAAARGH

purpleprincess24 · 13/10/2017 09:15

AAAARGGHhH my two 25 year olds are still living at home

My DS was a nightmare as a toddler, we used to dread him waking up as he always woke crying and took ages to get him calm

picklemepopcorn · 13/10/2017 09:26

I reckon mine read the baby manuals before me and short circuited every thing I tried!

Thing is, they are their own little people with absolutely no interest in whatever your priorities may happen to be keeping them safe, fed, washed, clothed, getting to work to earn money to keep them fed, clothed....

AtlanticWaves · 13/10/2017 09:44

I prioritise teeth cleaning. Which was dead easy with DS1 (he loved having his teeth brushed) but for DS2 it was a nightmare.

I used to pin him down and clean his teeth whilst he was crying. It sometimes needed 2 of us to hold him down (you feel awful).

It's worth it though- a friend of DS1 has to have 2 fillings aged 6.

Can you try and threaten him? Whenever DS2 refuses to have his teeth cleaned I say ok no problem but no chocolate/biscuits/cake/sweets/whatever tomorrow. It always works but it is something I'd totally follow through on the next day if necessary.

My 3 year old is also an angel (well, mostly) for his grandparents who look after him whilst I'm at work and a whingy nightmare for me when I get back. My mum is always astonished at how he plays me up and insists on sitting on my lap whinging for cheese or some of my ketchup or whatever, which he never does for them.

Can you rope in your parents to help? When we're having a spate of bad nights, my mum always says to the boys as she leaves that they're to be very good at night and not wake mummy up and she doesn't want to arrive tomorrow and learn they've been waking me up. She reinforces it all day and say it last thing before leaving. It works surprisingly well. Because they seem to want to impress her.

HateHomework · 13/10/2017 09:46

Yup same here... wait till he starts homework.... the joy....

Talith · 13/10/2017 09:52

I remember one of mine playing nicely in their room. Quiet except for an occasional clacking noise. Went in and they'd pulled a two foot length of skirting off (previous owner was a no more nails freak) and were hitting themselves gently on the head with it. There's no parenting manual that tells you that might happen. It's the unpredictability of everything at that age. I lived on my nerves. Still do tbh.

banivani · 13/10/2017 09:56

Love bomb him. He is acting this way to express a need. Try to see what he needs and give him loads of it. Instead of him whining to pick him up do it spontaneously and so on. Use a low arousal approach and pre-empt his needs. This is easier said than done obv if you're working and tired, but as a mother who works and is tired I've found it immensely effective and useful when dealing with my little feckers darlings. They are too young to control their behaviour, they can't wait and be patient, they can't calculate that a cuddle and a please will get them further than a whine and a tantrum. We as adults can, however, and we can choose our approach. Oh how I hate it, but it's true.

picklemepopcorn · 13/10/2017 09:57

We did it the other way Atlantic- teeth cleaning was not daily, but he had very little sugar. He's filling free at 21 and the dentist just congratulated him on good cleaning.

It does get better, honestly!

DS2 was a doddle by the way. He quite sparky, but really responsive to deals and rewards. DS1 was untouchable!

Gincision · 13/10/2017 10:08

Sorry Talith but this has me sniggering to myself on the train and I'm getting odd looks!

Went in and they'd pulled a two foot length of skirting off (previous owner was a no more nails freak) and were hitting themselves gently on the head with it. There's no parenting manual that tells you that might happen

Anyway op nothing helpful to add above what's been said. Ds1 was a lovely placid easy going toddler and we were smugly patting ourselves on the back at our excellent parenting. We must have been insufferable to parents of kids like yours. Then, Ds2 came along and we came back down to earth and realised that it's all down to personality and luck. He's still got fucker tendencies at 10 but it's much easier and his stubborn determination will take him far in life!

Also, gin helps

AtlanticWaves · 13/10/2017 10:13

We saw the dentist recently - at aged 3 they only need the evening teeth brushing. The morning is only to get them used to doing twice a day. She told us to prioritise our 6 year old's teeth in the morning.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread