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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

did toddlers have tantrums 50 years ago?

267 replies

ClaraBowWasSoLovely · 12/10/2017 19:42

Apologies - I bunged this in 'somewhere' yesterday due to computer illiteracy.
My children are in their forties and I don't remember any tantrums, no screaming, flailing, writhing on the floor (my marbles are intact).
I was 18 with my first, so was making it up as I went along.
Perhaps the world was quieter, calmer. We left our children outside shops!
No long distance travel.
Apparently (thanks, Google) other cultures don't experience toddler meltdowns. A writer asserted that the 'terrible twos' doesn't exist.
I'm ancient now, so no little ones of my own.
What do you older parents/grandparents think?

OP posts:
EB123 · 12/10/2017 19:43

My older siblings are in their 40's, my mum well remembers one of my brothers in particular having epic tantrums.

autumnrainandbooks · 12/10/2017 19:45

They were often left in the care of older siblings, physically punished and left to cry,

newtlover · 12/10/2017 19:45

rose tinted hindsight I call that Wink

IncyWincyGrownUp · 12/10/2017 19:45

Always have, always will. Children are egocentric until a certain age, tantrums are part and parcel of that phase of development.

What we didn’t have 50 years ago was social media, so there weren’t many ways for vast numbers of parents to compare the delights of Tuesday’s wobbler of choice.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 12/10/2017 19:46

One of my Uncle's is 70. According to his siblings and his Mum, he most definitely had tantrums.

DonkeyOaty · 12/10/2017 19:47

One of my siblings was a terrible tantrummer and we're in our fifties so yeah.

As in -

I want to go on the bus
famille gets on the bus

I don't like it waaah kick scream

family eyeroll

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 12/10/2017 19:48

They were often left in the care of older siblings, physically punished and left to cry,

This!

TheMaddHugger · 12/10/2017 19:48

Im 53.

Yes. Of course kids back then has tantrums

shhhfastasleep · 12/10/2017 19:49

In my 50s. I got a slap if I had a tantrum. My parents were loving and supportive but it was the norm to use corporal punishment back then.
Just to be clear, it is never ok to use corporal punishment.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 12/10/2017 19:49

Is this a serious post?? Confused

You actually think toddlers didn't tantrum before 50 years ago? Didn't your mother ever tell you what you were like as a child?

khajiit13 · 12/10/2017 19:50

You forgot or got lucky. My mum claims I didn't have any and I'm only in my 20's...I don't quite believe her. Kids have tantrums, always have always will

BewareOfDragons · 12/10/2017 19:51

I think there's a lot of 'forgetful' parents of grown up children out there.

I remember my mum telling me we would never have behaved 'like that' in a restaurant when she saw a little one kicking off. I pointedly reminded her that I remember being sent to sit alone in the car in shame several times for poor behaviour in restaurants. She shut up.

ujerneyson · 12/10/2017 19:51

I'm in my 40's and I remember having tantrums

SignoraCarmignola · 12/10/2017 19:52

No, absolutely they didn't and they were potty trained by six months. Every last one of them. Hmm

This is a weird belief along the lines of "all French children are well-behaved" It's nonsense.

Nonibaloni · 12/10/2017 19:52

My dad would be approaching 80, famous story of a tantrum, aged 5, at a highland dance competition. He actually had a sword to throw. Lost him 1st place actually.

Grimbles · 12/10/2017 19:53

Gripe water Wink

Alcohol was removed from the ingredients about 25 years ago...

RaskolnikovsGarret · 12/10/2017 19:53

My two didn't tantrum 13 and 15 years ago. They were not faultless by any means, and now are as moody and tricky as any teen, but they didn't tantrum at all ever. Neither did my niece and nephew.

Sometimes I find it really odd that they didn't, and it certainly wasn't good or stern parenting, they were just born like that.

I guess children are different, but there might be an element of horrible threats that kept tantrums down in the past? Who knows?

AuntLydia · 12/10/2017 19:53

Are you my Mil Grin?! She loved to tell me how she had never seen any other children in the family tantrum apart my eldest.

I am in my forties now so I'm guessing you're a similar age to my mum. She would have laughed and laughed at your post - not least because I was famous in the family for my horrific tantrums as a toddler. Apparently my paternal grandmother sympathised as my Dad was similar.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 12/10/2017 19:53

I've caught my mum saying things like "if you had behaved like that I'd have beat the legs off you" referring to one of my DCs when they were toddlers. I respond "I did and you did".

lizzieoak · 12/10/2017 19:55

I never had noisy tantrums apparently. Instead I held my breath till I passed out - does that count? Grin

mintteaandbananabread · 12/10/2017 19:55

Your children had tantrums. Children always have done.

People have a remarkable ability to block out and forget lots of things. My MIL swears blind that childbirth didn't hurt a bit and all five of her children were potty trained by 12 months.
It's utter bollocks of course.

TheLuminaries · 12/10/2017 19:57

Mum claimed my sister & I didn't argue when she heard my girls bickering. I laughed so hard - we would beat the crap out of each other, my girls were angels by comparison. Yup, rose tinted specs, everything was was lovely 'back in the day'.

Dustbunny1900 · 12/10/2017 19:57

My father, who was born in 1950 describes the meltdowns and kicking and screaming tantrums he and his siblings had. nothing new under the sun

Believeitornot · 12/10/2017 19:57

Well maybe other cultures don't see toddlers as having tantrums - that it's just normal behaviour caused, in part, my parents not being able to anticipate behaviour.

I certainly didn't have problems with my dcs having tantrums - they had them but I didn't see them as tantrums as such. More that they were hungry/tired etc and had got incredibly upset. It was usually pretty easy to calm themdown.

Angelicinnocent · 12/10/2017 19:58

Definitely they did but I think less often because they feared the smack they would get. They weren't happier or less demanding, they were just scared.

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