did toddlers have tantrums 50 years ago?

[ClaraBowWasSoLovely]

Apologies - I bunged this in 'somewhere' yesterday due to computer illiteracy.
My children are in their forties and I don't remember any tantrums, no screaming, flailing, writhing on the floor (my marbles are intact).
I was 18 with my first, so was making it up as I went along.
Perhaps the world was quieter, calmer. We left our children outside shops!
No long distance travel.
Apparently (thanks, Google) other cultures don't experience toddler meltdowns. A writer asserted that the 'terrible twos' doesn't exist.
I'm ancient now, so no little ones of my own.
What do you older parents/grandparents think?

My lovely neighbour is 92. She had give children and she tells me her youngest was a bloody horror! She told me that not only was he the worlds worst toddler but he was asked to leave sixth form in grammar school because of his attitude! He's in his 50's now and done very well for himself.

My neighbour is fab. She was married just after WW2 and had two pregnancies in quick succession. The second was twins so she had a toddler and two babies and lived in a flat above a shop in London. She had to make several trips up and down the stairs with the kids, pram and shopping. Just after her fifth baby her husband died and she never remarried. Brought them all up on her own and did a great job. Her family is huge and lovely.

It's interesting isn't it. I doubt my mum ever felt that it was OK to demand stuff as an adult, and neither would her mum. We are a 'keep calm and carry on' kind of family and me and my daughter are the same. Tantrums would never have been acceptable. The message would be 'be good and you might get it later'.
I somehow feel we are out of step with modern attitudes!

To be fair I can only remember DC1 (21) and DC2 (17) having two major meltdowns each and DC3 (14) didn't have any toddler tantrums at all!

I'm in my 40s and definitely had tantrums as a child.

MIL loves to report how DH was 'such a sunny child and never had a cross word'. She also reminds us that he never had any problem going to bed on Christmas Eve.
BIL reports differently

It honestly depends on the child. DD2 (teen) has never had a meltdown or a tantrum! Not one. She's very easy going.
However, I remember getting a smack whenever I had a meltdown as a child 40+ years ago. So yes, children did tantrum back then!

I'm 46, my brother is nearly 50, and I remember my mum saying that he was an angelic baby and absolutely awful, tantrumming toddler (I was a terrible baby, good toddler). And she was an ex nun, infant teacher who could quell children across supermarkets with a look - but my brother drove her nuts!

Yes. I did. Was taken to specialist and put on Ritalin predecessor. Can remember at least two, both entirely merited by unreasonable parental behaviour. After all, what's wrong with a diet of condensed milk?

I think there's a lot of 'forgetful' parents of grown up children out there.

This!
My mum used to tell me that none of us had tantrums had young children. Then she found some letters she'd written to my dad who was working away from home about the terrible tantrums my sister was having. She had to admit perhaps she'd remembered it wrong .
Sure, some children never have tantrums, but I don't think there's a time-related element to it. Some didn't used to; some don't know. There's always been toddlers throwing tantrums though...

I think people are more open about their children's behaviour nowadays. Me and my friends openly discuss the bitchfits our children have over the most insane things. My grandmother on the other hand would have probably have been mortified if anyone knew her children could be total gits.

Great example of this today. DS has just turned two. I was regaling my nan (in her eighties) with this morning's tantrum over me not letting him eat three milky ways for breakfast. Instead of the "Little monkey!" reaction I was expecting, she practically shouted at me "I hope you beat it out of him! You must NOT stand for THAT behaviour!" She was most upset that her great grandson could behave so appallingly. There was much huffing and head shaking when I explained why I wouldn't be beating my child. She was also incredulous that he was still in nappies by his first birthday. I don't think my mum had the best childhood...

My uncle was born in 1947 and had regular tantrums even up to late primary age.

In the 1960s my toddler sis and brother had dramatic tantrums. She would kick and scream and rage. He would hold his breath until he passed out.

I'm in my 40s and I remember both me and my brother having tantrums, apparently DM, in her late 70s now, was famous for them too.

TBH, DS is only 9, and I have already forgotten 99% of his tantrums. I can remember a couple but only fleetingly and I don't have a clue what they were about. So if I was looking back without ever having reflected on it in between then I might well have said oh, he never did that! But I know he did have them because I would have found it strange if he hadn't, also, I was probably posting on MN about them.

So I can quite well believe that parents of adult children may have forgotten.

Oh, I think that point about older generations being embarrassed by their children's behaviour is true as well.

My mum's in her eighties and remembers having an epic tantrum on her fifth birthday when she got a new coat and her twin sister was given a doll.

Yep.

My mum recalls her two younger siblings throwing tantrums; particularly the second youngest.

Some children are more inclined to throw tantrums though. One of mine has been an epic tantrum-thrower, but the other two have been more inclined to strop about something than get on the floor and scream.

My late mother (born 1910) when told she had a new baby brother, had a screaming tantrum "I hate a baby brother", ran and sat herself in the middle of a brook which ran at the bottom of their garden. An uncle had to wade in and lift her, still screaming, out.

Mind you, she might have had a point. She eventually had three "baby" brothers and was expected to look after them...

I grew up in an African country and had lots of younger siblings and cousins. I never witnessed any tantrums. Present day, no tantrums from nieces and nephews. My kids didn't have tantrums either. Yes, they cried when unhappy and lots of 'no', but I have never experienced any child in my family tantrum like I see in supermarkets. I've always found it very interesting. Oh, and we weren't beaten with a wooden spoon either :-)

I'm pushing 50 and my sister not far behind me. I remember her having epic tantrums - whacking her head against the floor, lying down and refusing to get up. Little old ladies used to stop and sympathise with my mum in the street. I thought she was epic! I expect my poor mum felt a bit differently

In relation to the 'terrible twos don't exist' discussion; I read an interesting article about the impact of modern society on the 'invention' of these tantrum phases (terrible twos, threenager, fournado etc). It made the point that previously it was commonplace to leave children to cry (DGM used to put DM in her pram at the bottom of the garden so she didn't have to listen to her), so they quickly learned that crying got them nowhere. As very little ones, they weren't taken out of the house quite so much (more for errands rather than to eat out, groups, activities etc like many parents choose to today), and than many places that children are welcomed into today, would have been off limits to toddlers back then. It suggested a lot of 'tantrum' behaviour stems from us making demands on the behaviour of children that weren't made quite so much if at all back then (e.g. sitting quiietly and eating a meal in a cafe). Not saying I agree or disagree, but I pondered it for quite some time.

Sure they did! I can remember seeing epic tantrums when I was a kid in the late 50s/early 60s and in some of my nieces and nephews in the 70s. But back then the kid was usually scooped up and either given a pop on the butt or hauled off unceremoniously by his/her parents. What you didn't see were parents futilely waving their hands going 'We just don't know that to do' with little Ignatz, ignoring the behaviour, or referring to their child as 'spirited' or 'determined'.

My two sons never had tantrums, either of them. But I put it down to their temperaments as opposed to my parenting! They were both pretty easy babies and easy-going children. But OH, those teen years!!

I'm in my fifties and my Dad tells the tale of pouring a bucket of cold water over my head when I had a tantrum. He claims it 'cured' me of ever having a tantrum again. Sounds like a load of bollox to me 😂

I do wonder if kids had simpler 'smaller' lives years ago. Mums were often at home and while they may have been busy themselves kids would be less busy and would have more freedom even from a young age.

Some friends toddlers are kept ridiculously busy. I think I'd have a tantrum or two if I didn't have a moment for myself.

My sister had the most epic tantrums ever - she's in her fifties.

Bahaha. just managed to find the piece. The 'ahem' author is batshit.
Although tbh I haven't got past this •BRITISH parents have created the Terrible Twos themselves by taking children to the pub and cinema, an expert has claimed.•