to ask how to cope with negative comments about “overdressing”

[JewelFoot]

After a divorce last year, I’m really enjoying finding my own style.

I’m not talking designer brands but I match my colours, like and choose/coordinate accessories, and try and look reasonably chic.

I’m not dressing in an obviously uncomfortable way or - sexually overt way (not that there is anything wrong with that!)- am fairly covered up/ practical - I can’t afford a car and so tend to be fairly covered up for the weather.

I’m a mature student in a hard (for me) subject which hopefully will lead to a solid career job, and also work for a big employer in the service industry to keep going financially. Overall I love it, the independence is great.

As one would expect my colleagues are not interested in whether or not I wear a fleece or a trench coat or a shalwar kameez (obviously the fashion choices of a low level employee are not the priority in someone’s working day! )

However, a few (women ) have tend to come out with fairly underhand unpleasant comments “questioning” me (implying I’m overspending on clothes - I have savings and mainly buy ebay/primark/charity shop stuff- or that I’m trying to “pull” the men at work, or simply “why are you so dressed up for? What are you wearing that for?”

I mean, it makes me feel good/confident but I don’t see why these women are being aggressive about needing an “explanation”? ( it really isn’t said in a friendly way - it’s also not like their the kind of colleagues who I have been having long conversations about my personal life so they’re actually curious about me?)

Eg Ive started wearing jeans tucked into boots (Mancheste rain and soggy hemlines means this is a genius idea and I like the look ) and someone asked if im trying to “pretend I own a horse”, implying I’m insecure and trying to be something I’m not?

I can compare this with my experience of working whilst in an abusive marriage (I’d often be turning up to work in dirty ill fitting clothes and hijab as I didn’t have access to spending money and my ex wasn’t working and used to start “all night” rows so I had no time to wash ) No one had that same tone of disapproval as they do now,

Oh so it's not ok to be nasty if someone has made an effort but it is ok to be nasty if they perhaps haven't or look "scruffy"? Maybe rethink your outlook. Surely we can all be kind whatever people are wearing as there is a lot more to people than how they look smile

Exactly. My general rule is as follows:

1. Does it affect you?
2. Does it harm anyone?

If no, maybe move on and let people be who they want to be and do what they want to do. No need to put them down for it.

If it was me, I'd go in even more dressed up just to piss them off!

Answer to the whoareyoutryingtoimpressQuestion: " am trying to impress you! And it seems to be working "

Oh good suggestion from formerbabe Go in in a full on gown, full makeup, fancy updo etc

BlackPepperCrab I completely agree.