Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving something and then asking for it back

71 replies

taloolahhh · 12/10/2017 00:00

Family member gave us a baby car seat when they found out we were expecting, they had used it for their two children.

They said that they weren’t planning any more and to pass it on if we didn’t want it.

It wasn’t in great condition and was nearly 5 years old so decided to buy a new one for us. We put this one in our loft as didn’t have a chance to pop it into a charity shop and it stayed there until recently when family member found out they were expecting another baby and asked for it back.

We were glad we hadn’t thrown it and gave it back but couldn’t find the clips that go on the pram.

We are adamant we hadn’t thrown them away , but things have been moved in an out of our loft so much in the past 6 months that they might have slipped in with something else.

Family member want us to replace the clips which we are about onto order.

AIBU to think that if you give someone something and tell them you don’t need it back that if you don’t have it to give back when they change their mind that it’s not our fault?

OP posts:
RavenclawRealist · 12/10/2017 02:07

Have you agreed to buy the clips at one point? If so I think you need to get them avoid the drama but as others have said lesson learnt!

If you haven’t I would send a message, along the lines of, I’m sorry we can’t find the clips, but when you gave us the seat you were clear you didn’t want it back. Things are tight for us at the moment so we aren’t able to replace them. We wouldn’t have accepted if we had know you would want it back.

RavenclawRealist · 12/10/2017 02:08

Cf= cheeky fucker

BulletFox · 12/10/2017 02:09

It's not really on as it was a gift in the first place.

However it was meant out of kindness and offer to go halves on the clips.

BulletFox · 12/10/2017 02:12

Oh actually sorry, if you had to buy a replacement in the first place they can buy their own clips! Yes RTTF

BulletFox · 12/10/2017 02:13

*RTFT even

SouthWindsWesterly · 12/10/2017 02:45

What is the ebay link for the clips? You never know - someone here might have them rolling around somewhere and might forward on for postage

Mum2OneTeen · 12/10/2017 03:19

Yep, I'd just buy the damn clips and move on from it. It's not too much money to keep the peace. But I would make a note to never borrow anything from them again. And console myself with the thought that I wasn't expected to replace the entire seat which would have happened if you had disposed of it.

Shadow666 · 12/10/2017 04:30

I wouldn't buy the clips. Fuck keeping the peace! Cheeky fuckers!

lalalalyra · 12/10/2017 04:47

Do they realise you didn't use it?

They are being cheeky, but they might be thinking they saved you the cost of a car seat so aren't seeing the big deal of you paying for just the clips?

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/10/2017 05:11

Baby car seats are only good for 6 years unless otherwise advised by the manufacturer. Do you remember seeing a manual? Odds on the seat has now reached expiry.

Send a text expressing deep concern that they would seriously be thinking about putting their precious newborn in a dangerous car seat. Tell them you didn’t use the seat because you considered it too close to expiry and you’re incredibly shocked by their attitude to road safety. In all good conscience you cannot buy anything for an expired car seat. Moreover, they gave it to you in good faith with no mention they would want it returned at a later date.

cluelessnewmum · 12/10/2017 05:13

For the sake of £20 I would just but them, but point out to them that they had made it clear to you that they didn't want it back so you hadn't kept it in a condition (ie with everything together) to return it to them.

I wouldn't go on about safety as that's their decision as parents.

But just be wary of this sort of thing again, there's threads on here where people want the profits if stuff of theirs they've sold or get annoyed when it's given to a charity shop. People seem to think of stuff they've given away as theirs still.

TeenTimesTwo · 12/10/2017 07:51

Buy them the clips but consider it as your gift for the new baby.

Inertia · 12/10/2017 08:03

Charge them a storage fee.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 12/10/2017 08:08

Yanbu
It’s been five years! They sound a bit tight to say the least. A lot changes in 5 years re car seats, and this ones not in great nick. Don’t they want their baby to have a nice new safe as possible car seat??

RaeSkywalker · 12/10/2017 08:09

I'd buy them, but never accept a 'gift' from them again. And tell them why if they tried to offload anything on me.

They also wouldn't be getting any of my baby stuff!

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 12/10/2017 08:09

Inertia yes, plus a 5% CF tax

DesignedForLife · 12/10/2017 08:57

YANBU, they need to fork out.

baffledcoconut · 12/10/2017 09:00

They are happy to use a car seat used for two children and then stored in a loft for a long time? They need their heads read. Don’t buy the clips.

ItsNachoCheese · 12/10/2017 09:01

Yanbu if they want the clips then they can buy them!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 12/10/2017 09:03

When I read the thread title I just knew it would be a baby related item!

We were given loads of stuff when ds was born ,I had no idea I was supposed to offer it back when we'd done with it. Took me by surprise when I was asked for it back- thank God I hadn't passed it on or charity shopped itShock

CorbynsBumFlannel · 12/10/2017 09:06

I'd buy the clips to keep the peace but would just get a card for the new baby. And never accept anything from them again.

HaHaHmm · 12/10/2017 09:16

For the sake of keeping the peace I would also buy the clips, although I'd probably also point out to them that having been stored for so long the seat is probably no longer particularly safe.

londonrach · 12/10/2017 09:19

They mustknows that that seat is probably not safe now. Dont buy te clips

JungleExplorer · 12/10/2017 09:20

Most car seats are only good for 6 years, they have an expiry date

The plastic deteriorates.

They need to check the manufacture date on the car seat. Usually stamped on.

I would ask them to check that first before any discussion of clips.

Albertschair · 12/10/2017 09:26

Buy the clips

Never accept anything from them in future

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.