To feel so utterly fucking betrayed?

[Spuddington]

I'm in a shitty marriage. I'm unhappy but we rarely actually see each other thanks to work shifts. I'm trying to get enough money together to leave but I have £17 to my name until payday so it's not too easy.

Decided today I couldn't cope. Took DD to DM's and came home to ask DH to leave for a while.

I thought I had DM supporting me but after explaining to DH that I can't do this anymore he said he knew what my problem was. He has long conversations with my DM about me where they talk about my childhood and now they've both decided I have low self worth and nothing is his fault and I'm being unreasonable by wanting to leave him.

I feel like DM has totally betrayed me. Back to square one. She'd rather support my ea husband than her own daughter.

Fuck this.

Sad to say, I've been in your shoes and know how much it hurts. Wishing you the strength and resilience to make your escape from your terrible marriage. My own life is much better now I'm rid of abusive partner and toxic mother. Have you got support? Have you had any counselling from someone who understands abuse?

Well it's he and your mum who are chipping away at your self-esteem, but it seems like it's founded in reality so like marble not sand; you keep it up, keep reminding yourself that you and dd are worth more.

Can your mum help out with childcare? I know she's not ideal, but it may be that once he's out of the picture her male-oriented attirude won't matter too much for a short time, while you get yourself really sorted.