AIBU? To want to hear the other side

[BAHH00]

There is lots of talk on MN about the 'Wendy' and how they stole a persons friend. I would like to hear from a so called 'Wendy' and hear their side.

Also why does the orginal close friend fall for a 'Wendy's' charms leaving the 3rd friend out in the cold?

Wendy is from the Judy Blume novel Blubber.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blubber_(novel)

Friendships are complicated. Sometimes people click, sometimes they don't. I always want to hear the other side of threads.

Oh shadow you beat me to it! Was about to post that link.

Ex friend of mine was a Wendy. He was a bloke so for some reason you would expect it even less. He had been Wendying around for years in other people's circles and then tried to pull it on me and my friends. Thing is my friend did not want to be wendied and we called him out on it and Wendy is no more.
Thing is, it takes at least two to Wendy. They can't work alone, they need at least one accomplice.

I often "self Wendy". I have a knack for meeting and making casual friendships with people But I never get closer. I generally introduce them to people I feel sure they will get on with and 'poof' friend vanishes.
I need to befriend people who can handle having more than one friend or interest!
It's almost as though monogamy seems to apply to friends. Very playground.

It's almost as though monogamy seems to apply to friends. Very playground.

I think wendying refers to completely excluding or removing the original friend from the group, not breaking some weird (and rare) monogamy.

While a lot of Wendy situations are probably friendships waxing waning and changing, don't discount that some instances are true Wendy situations.

I've been on the sidelines watching someone come into a group and ruthlessly cut someone else out. I wasn't friends with anyone in that group just acquainted with them, but that person was genuinely bad.

I think many threads if given the other side would be a startling different view of things.

For example a "wendy" situation it could simply be that one person introduces a friend to another friend, the two new friends get on very well and then eventually both realise that they don't want to be friends with the kind of person who goes on about wendying and their friends being "stolen" like some giant 12 year old?

@bitofanamechange what happened did the OF eventually realise the person was a wrong un?

I personally can’t believe the number of threads where posters bitch about friends. Sorry, to me it really seems like some people never leave the playground. Friendships are supposed to be pleasurable and if you push too hard and make people feel uncomfortable then they won’t want to be friends with you.

I wouldn’t know about having a friend who becomes a ‘Wendy’, people are allowed to decide they find a new friend easier to get on with, or their lives fit with each other’s better.

It doesn’t have to mean they’re cutting you out! I have very good friends I hardly see, I chat with them on Facebook or on the phone. But if you bitch about it, they’ll get sick of it. I had a friend like that, we’re not friends now sadly.

I suppose you could be unfortunate enough to meet someone who really is Machiavellian and turns your friends against you; but if they’re so easily influenced then they’re not really worth getting upset about.

Mn does have a strange take on friendship though. The number of threads you see along the lines of "I found out some of my friends went out together and they didn't ask me. Just feel like ending the friendships now." And the responses along the lines of "They're not your friends, go NC and find some new friends."

It definitely is like something out of the playground.

I don't think people are purely bitching sometimes even if they know deep down an answer they worry that its their own paranoia or self esteem and are looking for some other POV who else do you talk it through with.

Recently one of my friends said to me and I cant remember exactly how it was put but the gist was I was portraying upset at not being invited to things she was doing with other people. I have no idea how I have put this across apart from I often say what you been up to or how was your weekend if I haven't seen them but I thought that was a standard conversational question. I don't feel I say it in any loaded manner. Maybe they feel guilty for not inviting me to things and are simply projecting !?!

BAHH00, it ended up pretty messy from what l could tell, 2 or 3 smaller groups.

You don't own friends and they don't own you. It's all a bit silly.