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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to walk out of hospital appt?

59 replies

Allfednonedead · 09/10/2017 11:38

I'm waiting to be seen in an endocrinology clinic because my underactive thyroid gland has been problematic this year
I've just realised the doctor is the same man I saw last time, who apparently knew less about Hashomotos (my illness) than I do, who dismissed what I said, and triggered a major bout of suicidal thinking six months ago.
Do I run away, go in when called and tell him I refuse to see him or suck it up and risk similar?
Basically, IMO he is less competent than my GP and I can't bear it.
Ps I know I'm overreacting, but I cannot make myself calm down and be sensible.

OP posts:

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 09/10/2017 11:41

So long as you dont expect the NHS to fund another appointment for you

RatherBeRiding · 09/10/2017 11:42

I'd keep the appointment and see how it goes. If it turns out to be a huge waste of time because the doctor is dismissive of your illness then go back to your GP and ask for an appointment with a different doctor within the clinic and explain why. Unfortunately if you are just a "no show" for your appointment you will have to wait for however long for another one, with no guarantee that you won't get the same doctor again.

I assume this is a junior doctor and not a consultant?

Cheby · 09/10/2017 11:42

Stick with it, if only because you'll find it very hard to get another appointment if you walk out of this one. With any luck you might end up seeing one of his team rather than him?

In the appointment I'd ask him to make a tertiary referral if he doesn't have sufficient experience to treat you.

TooDamnSarky · 09/10/2017 11:42

Go to the desk. Check that you are seeing him. Explain what happened and request either a change of doctor or a chaperone to be provided.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/10/2017 11:43

I would go in and listen to what he has to say

Allthewaves · 09/10/2017 11:44

Is there a nurse you can talk to before your called

Madbum · 09/10/2017 11:45

I’d stay or it means being referred back to your GP and waiting all over again for another appointment only to find yourself back in the same situation again. Go in and see how it goes, if it’s the same shit again request a second opinion.

abbsisspartacus · 09/10/2017 11:45

I find the sentence "as I'm sure your aware" comes in handy when dealing with Drs who don't know much about my graves disease

Welshmaenad · 09/10/2017 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ferrier · 09/10/2017 11:48

Seconding the advice to talk to the desk or a nurse.

rainbowgrimm · 09/10/2017 11:52

I'm a HCP. I would approach the desk & ask for a private word with the nurse running the clinic. Explain what you've said above & ask what else can be done - see a different team member, nurse present for consultation etc Hopefully they'll be able to help, if not contact PALS. This is not worth comprising your mental health for. If you need to switch consultant you may have to go back through your GP & it may be an idea to know who you would like to see, friends reccomendations etc.
It is not an unusal request to make, sadly.

BlueSapp · 09/10/2017 11:56

You are perfectly within your right to be referred to someone else, it may take time if he is the only one on the list today but if it has been that bad before raise the issue with the management and make a complaint

TheMaddHugger · 09/10/2017 11:57

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Mon 09-Oct-17 11:41:43
So long as you dont expect the NHS to fund another appointment for you

WTF

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) Op

cjt110 · 09/10/2017 12:02

I have UAT. Sadly, many of us patients know more than the GP.

Another scenario but relateable - I had to see a obstetrician during my pregnancy due to a medical condition I have. He asked me to seek an opinion from my team who told him I would be fine to birth naturally and therefore on a birth centre not a labour ward. He said as long as all remained stable he was happy. Next appt, he denied he'd ever said that, refuted my team's knowledge and told me I would be on the labour ward nowhere else. He didnt have a clue what my condition was and was ignoring specialist advice.

I told him to stick it.

Iris65 · 09/10/2017 12:04

Speak to the desk as advised by others.
Be clear about what you are hoping to get out of this appointment. Do you need further blood tests? A medication review? Other investigations? In which case you can politely tell the Dr exactly what you need based on your own knowledge and experience.

guilty100 · 09/10/2017 12:07

Gah, I know how hard this can be. Please stick with it, OP. Explain your case as calmly and clearly as you can, and really insist on the impact it is having on your life. A lot of the time, when we feel big bouts of anxiety it's because we fear that it's our own fault for not being heard. It's not your fault, though - if this guy is a tosser, he's a tosser and that's on him.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 09/10/2017 12:08

Take someone with you to chaperone and note take. Someone note taking often seems to direct the minds of those who need it.... Worked a treat for my friend when I note took for her at the GP a few weeks ago, suddenly all the help she should have been getting for a year is appearing and they aren't fobbing her off.

LurkingHusband · 09/10/2017 12:08

Did you complain at the time via PALs ?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/10/2017 12:09

Honestly? If your reaction was that bad last time I'd do whatever it took to keep me safe, including bailing and self-medicating with cake and coffee.

LuckLuckLUCK · 09/10/2017 12:09

Definitely ask the people on reception what your options are.

EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck · 09/10/2017 12:10

I agree with RatherBeRiding. 😆

welshweasel · 09/10/2017 12:11

It's very uncommon for a doctor to be doing a clinic single handed. Usually there's a team so definitely ask if you can see someone else. Otherwise ask for a nurse to accompany you and take some notes whilst you're there so you can make sure both you and the doctor agree on what the plan is.

Slartybartfast · 09/10/2017 12:11

Perhaps he has done some research in preparation for the appointment op, have hope

Slartybartfast · 09/10/2017 12:13

At least you are forewarned op

LannieDuck · 09/10/2017 12:18

I would say that you're there now - have the appointment and if it doesn't go well, ask your GP to refer you to a different hospital so that you know this won't happen again.

I've had a similar thing with a dermatologist. Have seen about 15 over the last 8 years (there seems to be very high turn-over!). Only one has had me in tears on my drive home because he was so dismissive and arrogant. There are basic errors in the follow-up letter he sent that demonstrate he wasn't listening to what I said at all. I would certainly never go back to see him again. Luckily I've moved house since then, so it'll never be an issue.

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