Thinking of not attending friends' wedding

[Magicnumbers]

Reluctantly, I don't think we should attend my DHs friends' wedding.

DH works offshore for weeks at a time. We now know that he will be away during the wedding, but he could arrange to come back (at around £1.5k of our own expense) for the day itself, then travel back the next day. It's 16 hours each way. But DH is really close to his friend.

Wedding is literally the other side of the UK so it's a flight for me. Children are not invited and we have 2 under 7. There are no family or friends in the area so no babysitters. We respect their decision on children and I suggested that DH goes alone. DH wants me there too.

DH wants my elderly DPs to have the DCs. I don't think that it is fair to ask them- my DF is not well. DH then suggests asking my sister to come with us and babysit while we go.

This all seems OTT to me- the costs for bringing sister would bring it up to well over 2k for all our travel and accommodation.

My judgement is clouded though, because really I just think DH should decline and say that we would love to pay for them to come and see us, or we go to see them another time. They are close, but it's not like he's a best man or they see each other much.

AIBU to feel that it's not fair or proportionate for me/DCs/sister to come down for 24 hours? Oh, and it's a weekend during term time so it would literally be flying down that morning and returning Sunday for us...

[ducknose]

That's the easiest 'I'm sorry we can't make it, best wishes' I've ever read. It's not even a dilemma for me. If it's playing on your conscience for whatever reason, then send a present or a cheque.