Dh away for step ds birthday - is he B U?

[Doubtfuldaphne]

Just wondering if this is such a big deal or not. Dh's sister has bought him and her tickets to see a band they love and go to watch live quite often. (Well, a few times a year)
SIL didn't check with dh if the date was ok, just booked them.
It turns out it's my ds's birthday that day. It is a weeknight and if it wasn't for the tickets, dh would work until 8.30pm anyway.
It's not a momentous age ds will be reaching. Dh thinks it will be fine and said we'll celebrate at the weekend. I pointed out he wouldn't go if it was his biological child's birthday.
I'm not sure who's being unreasonable here.

17???? YABU! At 17, I wouldn't have wanted my old folks cramping my style. Thought you meant a young child!

Yes YABU, it's not a big deal and you can celebrate at weekend

It's really OK. I nearly had to be away for my sons 18th, getting back the day after. It would have been unavoidable (third part of a 3 part course that only runs once a year).

He was totally fine with it. They had to change the course dates, so I ended up being away on my birthday instead. Which was also fine.

Not everyone expects the world around them to stop just because it's the anniversary of the day they were born. Some cultures don't even celebrate birthdays. They seem to cope ok.

Nearly 17? Ask him. See if he cares. I'd go weeks at a time without seeing a parent at that age. Birthdays included. Really didn't bother me.

17 is not a momentous birthday. I wouldn't wait for the weekend to celebrate - do something lovely on DS's birthday. Make the most of it just being the two of you.

Hilarious!! He is 17!! He won't give a shit. It is YOU that does.
YABU
Have birthday breakfast. End of.

I too, thought he was 5 or something

At 17 I doubt if he will be unduly worried if his DF is not there on the day, providing it's properly celebrated at some point with large gifts

I actually laughed when OP asked if the age made a difference.

Glad you've seen the light, OP. Hope your son has a nice birthday.

ask ds if he wants to go to the concert too and get him a ticket

I've been in my DSD's life for 6 out of her 7 years and never spent a birthday with her... I've worked most of them or she's been with her mum and my husband has gone over to see her. I've never thought hard about it to be honest.

17! 😂😂😂

Is he doing anything with his dad?

It's a bit weird that you're upset about being excluded when your DH does things with his own family!

I don't think he's going to be bothered op.
Even if he was like, 7 or something it wouldn't matter because your dp will be working until 8:30pm anyway.

or would have been working until if he wasn't going to the concert.

17! Are you kidding me your son will probably want to be with his friends! Think your more pissed off with your sister in law!

Your sil sounds pretty awful - concentrate your energies on that relationship, not non-existent problems between your ds and dh.

Wow... I don't think I saw any of my relatives biological or otherwise on my 15, 16, 17 18, 19 or 20th birthdays! Not even close to a big deal, but you get that now.

You are worried about this at 17? So can sign up to the army, go to uni, have sex etc and you worried about non-biological parent not being there midweek for the actual birthday. And going to see a band that its been established he and sister really like.

To be honest I dont think I wanted anything to do with my parents on my 17th. Card, present and thank-you - I am away out with friends. How are you op going to cope if they go to uni away from you - will you be expecting them to come home for birthdays??