AIBU parent at school who has been bullying my family now posts hate comments online

[Nonky]

Long story but my family were bullied out of our school by one parent who was also a part time worker at the school. My daughter has asd and she would pull her daughter away from mine and say her asd was 'catching'. Despite her being an Sen TA at the school, she would talk about the children as 'thick, a waste of space'. A number of children left the school this year down to the behaviour of this person. My daughters are now happy and at a new school. I still feel that the whole saga was unfair especially as the head teacher claimed he liked me and could cope with me being cross and could see what was happening but was too scared of this other woman to do anything about it.

Her name popped up on my instagram and with it came loads and loads of 'inspiration hate' posts about 'fucking up' people who disagree with her etc etc. They were very pointed at me ( I know I could be accused of being over emotional but there was detail there that could be directed only at me). There are literally loads of them on a public forum open to anyone.

My sensible head says leave this alone. It's her own problem. My own teacher head says someone working with children just cannot behaved this way.
There is no point in me telling the current head at my daughters old school about this as he will just bury all this. Is there anything I can do? Should I do anything or should I just move on as my boys are now happy and she is clearly deranged (but I feel hurt by what she's said grrrr!)

Daughters or boys.....?

I would make an official complaint about her. She is deranged and should not be teaching at a school.

It's tough, as normally I would expect an employer to take that kind of behaviour seriously. You can screenshot the posts that are inappropriate and make a formal complaint to the head. If (as you anticipate) he does nothing, the next step is to go directly to the governors.

Is she not bound by codes of conduct. I would report her asap

If she's posting stuff like that online the LA needs to know about it.
She sounds totally unsuitable as a SEN TA.
And yes - do you have boys or girls?

Mmm girls or boys?

Go onto your Local Safeguarding Children's Board and find the details to make an allegation to the Local Authority Designated Officer. Explain everything within your OP. She needs to be investigated and punished for what she has done!

Sorry I have two boys but was trying to make myself a bit more anonymous as it really doesn't make a difference to the actual problem

Thanks - the chairman of govs is a good friend of their family. I really don't think i can go anywhere with this except keep hold of the screen captures for if she ever moves on somewhere else I guess. I have tried so hard to prove to the head what had been happening but it has been ignored. I guess I have to think my children are happy then that's the important thing now. I
Need to 'man the fuck up' so to speak and move on... I think!

The LADO is independent of the school and governors. It's not enough to say your kids are safe, she is guaranteed to be doing this to other children!

It's all very well saying I need to protect other children. I have tried and tried. If I make a complaint I risk even more hatred and vile towards my own Children and family. We are only just recovering from the last two years of my son who is 9's nervous breakdown from all this in the first place.

Go straight to LADO

Wow. It’s not her own problem. It’s the problem of every vulnerable child who comes into contact with her. Did you escalate this past the head to the governors at the time?

Please go to LADO with evidence

Definitely report her to LADO.

Yes I did escalate this past the head
To govs. The chair of gov is very close to her husband so it was closed down quickly.
Honestly I feel like there's no where to go with this.

Because I had no written evidence and they couldn't prove that she had actually said these things about Sen kids it was thrown out. I know the online things are about me but because she hasn't 'named'me it will have the same response

Would ofsted be a point of call if all else isn't helping?

Nonky, you can go to the police with online bullying, especially if you have screen captures and proof so even if posts are taken down or edited. You do not need to be named in teh posts, if there are identifying details that is enough. If you feel bullied/threatened then you are being bullied. The police will take it seriously. We had an issue with a previous employee and my husband documented all the minor events and I was shocked when he totalled them up together - I was all in favour of keeping our heads down, staying quiet and waiting for them to get bored and go away! - We now have a crime reference number and he has an appointment to discuss the details with a member of teh Police next week. I'm glad your children are settling well, but this abuse cannot be allowed to continue :(

It shouldn't be possible for a complaint to Governors to be "closed down quickly". Standard procedure would be for the Chair to reply to your concerns and if you aren't happy with the reply you can continue with the complaint and it would go to the next stage - usually a small group of other governors who haven't been involved at the first stage, or maybe the Local Authority. Have you checked out the school complaints policy?

The Chair of Governors really doesn't have the authority to end a complaint on their own unless you let them.

Still escalate this !

Report this person to the HT, with screenshots. The fact that you are not named is irrelevant, she shouldn't be saying these things online anyway.

Thank you all. You are very kind and have restored my faith in people a little so thank you. Lots to think about here x

Just wanted to say I share your frustration. In 2011 a (so-called) professional was working with my family to help us move house and get away from sadistic neighbours. He sent text messages to someone else, I believe I know who it was but couldn't prove it, ridiculing me and I found out because one day he accidentally sent some to my phone instead of hers. I got absolutely nowhere with my complaints because his seniors insisted that whoever the texts were intended for couldn't have identified me from what he said. This was beyond belief given he had actually used my name in the texts and given other personal information. I don't trust all this confidentiality and data protection bullshit, people are getting away with it left right and centre and when anyone can see other alleged professionals refusing to take action on it then there's no incentive to stop them.

I hope you can get a resolution but I fear you won't and the feeling of helplessness and frustration is so consuming

OK OP, take screenshots of all the posts with any identifying details that only your family are party to. Arrange a meeting with the BOG's and tell them in no uncertain terms that you take this further, if it isn't dealt with satisfactorily and effectively.

AFAIK, it doesn't matter who the HT or anyone on the BOG is friends with or related to regarding staff at the school, they still HAVE TO follow the proper procedures regarding bullying by their staff.

What disgusts me is this teacher is an SEN TA, so they should know that ASD is not a disease that is contagious. Anyway, if the BOG do not take appropriate action, tell them that you'll involve the LEA, OFSTED and the police. Then see how it goes from there.

Oh, and absolutely state your fears about this person being in contact with vulnerable children, especially stating that due to her previous bullying of your family, there's no guarantee she wouldn't do the same thing to another family she took a dislike to. She is not fit to work with DC with SEN if this is her attitude toward them.